Earlier quoted context omitted.
Are there any languages you know of that are somewhat close to what you describe?
Yes, they exist and have been used for decades; two well known examples are Common Lisp and Scheme. For example you can do functional, imperative and OO programming in Common Lisp, and it brings extensive features for working in all these three paradigms. More recent examples, Racket and Julia.
Now, I am by no means a Lisp expert, so it’s entirely possible that I’m completely unaware of something here. However, I’ve yet to encounter much of an effect system in any flavour of Lisp. Indeed, it’s hard to see how the sort of explicit visibility and control of effects that I’d find useful could be achieved in a language with primarily dynamic typing using any of the approaches I’ve encountered so far.