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Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

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Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#121

Post by khafra »

rjett wrote: post #115
detst wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Great advice and just to add a little to this line of thinking... Never simply have a goal of losing weight. Instead, think about the lifestyle you want that will take you to a healthy weight. Find good foods that you enjoy and exercises that you don't dread. Your goal isn't to lose weight, it's to create that lifestyle that you really want, which will bring the weight-loss and better health with it. Maybe use this 3…

Find good foods that you enjoy and exercises that you don't dread Regarding the exercise part of that statement: I've actually come to terms with the fact that the amount I need to exercise to change my body over time isn't going to be pleasant while I'm doing it and I won't want to exercise every day. I've also come to expect that I'll feel great after I work out. If you couple these realistic expectations with a re…

Perceiving the difference between liking and wanting is, indeed, useful.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#122

Post by yafujifide »

Over the past several days I've been developing something I call "comprehensive training" which may be useful to you. The idea is that rather than just training something like muscles, which a lot of people train, we train every attribute of ourselves.

I call this project Project Asymmetry because a lot of people live symmetric lives where they are born, climb up until they reach a peak, then decline until they die. The end of their lives are mirror images of the beginning. In Project Asymmetry, we reject that, and aim to get better at everything until we suddenly die in an accident.

Here is an image to illustrate: http://ryandickherber.com/images/project-asymmetry.png

Right now I'm researching all the components of the human body that can be trained and will be putting up a wiki with more information on this. I will catalog standard activities, like weight lifting, taking physics qualifying exams, etc., and seeing what parts of the body they train (muscles, bones, brain, etc.). This will take about a week probably.

Then I will design programs that train every component of yourself. The idea is that you will become stronger, funnier, more intelligent, more knowledgeable, etc., in a very rigorous way. Everything will be tracked so you can know you're really making progress. The program never ends, and you will always follow it (until you suddenly die in an accident).

Here is the latest reddit thread:

http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/cu0qp/we_want_to_be...

Keep track on my blog:

http://funnylogic.com/

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#123

Post by noname123 »

JangoSteve wrote: post #91
nudge wrote: post #6

Something I find helpful is abandoning the idea of goals (at least for a while), and instead simply focusing on habits. What do you want to be like? What kind of day would you think was a good one? (here you can include things like "think silently, with no distractions, for 30 minutes" - NOT things like "have 3 good ideas"; also things like "End each day by listing 3 things I want to do the next day, and make sure th…

At one time, I was not happy with who I was. The interesting thing is that I did exactly this, what you just described, without realizing until now what I was doing or why. Within a few years, I feel like I knew who I was and who I wanted to become. Now my ideas for my desired self have since changed several times (that is growing up after all), but I've been happy with life in general for much of that time. That bei…

I was wondering if you can go into the specifics of what changes you made and how it made you discover who you wanted to become?

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#124

Post by exit »

acid_bath wrote: post #61
iamelgringo wrote: post #52

My understanding of your problem: You're depressed, you can't focus on any one of your "hundred" ideas, you haven't paid off your debt on a $60k salary working for a fortune 500 company, and you aren't building cool shit like you really want to be doing. And you can't lose weight. Solution: Move to Silicon Valley/SF and get a job at a startup. There are tons of recently funded startups hiring right now. Guaranteed yo…

I'm going to offer a counter-point to your suggestion: I don't believe changing the external environment, or income, or people who you are near, is going to do jack shit. Here's why: I feel exactly like the OP. Failed weight loss. Failed relationships (in my case it's making good friends / co-worker relationships). A giant list of failed or incomplete side projects. Still can't pay off my loans. The difference: I mak…

just to be clear, you make 3 x 60,000/year working at a start up?

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#125

Post by acid_bath »

exit wrote: post #124
acid_bath wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm going to offer a counter-point to your suggestion: I don't believe changing the external environment, or income, or people who you are near, is going to do jack shit. Here's why: I feel exactly like the OP. Failed weight loss. Failed relationships (in my case it's making good friends / co-worker relationships). A giant list of failed or incomplete side projects. Still can't pay off my loans. The difference: I mak…

just to be clear, you make 3 x 60,000/year working at a start up?

NYC rates, yep. I'd make significantly less elsewhere.

Three things:

NYC is expensive. A 6 pack of crummy beer is $14 across the street from my office, and a studio in Harlem is still $2,000/mo. Realistically, $100k/year in NYC is like $60k/year elsewhere. I know quite a few people making six figures that live 2 hours outside of the city because they can't afford it and I've read that you shouldn't even consider having kids in Manhattan until your household income is over $200k/yr.

Second, IME a lot of startups in NYC have deep pockets. I believe this is because most of the startups in NYC are funded by big companies with NYC HQs. Otherwise, they'd start up elsewhere because everything about running a biz is expensive in NYC (employee wages, taxes, rent, etc).

Third, there's a talent drought in NYC. If a tech savvy type of guy wants to be on the east coast, they usually end up Boston/Cambridge.

High cost of living + startups w/ lots of coin + talent shortage = $$$$ for devs.

Also, I made some broad generalizations. There are plenty of self-funded startups in NYC too.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#126

Post by slantyyz »

jnorion wrote: post #67
throwaway72010 wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks; I think this is a similar point to someone who was saying "Maybe you've had it too easy." I swear that I get exercise... ;-) The short walk down a plain street is more difficult for me to understand... what does it really change?

I took my 7-year-old son hiking a couple of weeks ago. He's very much a city kid, and has gotten far too used to constant technology and stimulation. I wanted to get him out in nature. When we first started walking, he was annoyed and didn't want to be there. He shuffled along, staring at his feet, and kept whining "Can we go back yet?" (we'd gone maybe a quarter mile on flat grass when this started). I suggested he…

Maybe there's something as simple as a happy dog wagging his tail and smiling at you that could brighten your day.

Amen to that. If your lifestyle enables you to have one (and you're not allergic), a pet can be extremely therapeutic.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#127

Post by JangoSteve »

noname123 wrote: post #123
JangoSteve wrote: post #91

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At one time, I was not happy with who I was. The interesting thing is that I did exactly this, what you just described, without realizing until now what I was doing or why. Within a few years, I feel like I knew who I was and who I wanted to become. Now my ideas for my desired self have since changed several times (that is growing up after all), but I've been happy with life in general for much of that time. That bei…

I was wondering if you can go into the specifics of what changes you made and how it made you discover who you wanted to become?

The example I remember best was that I felt that I was not confident in myself (in many ways). It was very obvious in the way I walked, slouched, and held my head. I knew that the person I wanted to be was confident, and walked with his head held high. So, I began sitting up straight and walking with purpose (and now I actually had purpose). The way people treated me seemed to change almost immediately. People respect you a lot more when you respect yourself.

I've since modified these traits a few times. For instance, I found out about a year ago from a few people that I apparently intimidate people the first time they meet me. Since then, I've decided that the person I want to be is personable, easily approachable, and makes people comfortable. Since then, I've made a conscious effort to always have a smile on my face when in public, as well as to relax my posture a bit to try to put those around me at ease.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#128

Post by rokhayakebe »

bdickason wrote: post #103
mortenjorck wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Give yourself the permission to be calm and collected and deserve an average, wonderful, American middle-class day without guilt or anxiety. I don't know. I did this when I was 25, and two years later, I feel as if I wasted my time. I'm probably being unfair to myself. I worked on fun little side projects here and there that never went anywhere, but I felt contented. Now I feel like I have to be working on something…

Sometimes spending those two years in an 'average day without guilt or anxiety' can lead you to the proper motivation. For example, I spent about 4 months playing World of Warcraft and not really worrying about anything once I returned home from work. I didn't strive to be the best in the game (went down that path before, easy burnout), but instead just enjoyed myself. Then one day I just got bored, stopped logging i…

Same here. Up to recently I would watch a movie every single day. If it was too long I would watch it in two days. Amazingly it is isn't as if I did less work. I would just stop browsing the net and looking for stuff to read and simply enjoy a good movie at the end of my day. Worked very well.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#129

Post by zackattack »

starkfist wrote: post #92
zackattack wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Um, I think Taleb made a fortune in the stock market meltdown, and he's also incredibly well read and intelligent, so I think you don't really know what you're talking about. My guess is that you're reacting based on my comment about sugar and carbs. I am sorry that it is challenging some of your closely held beliefs and sense of reality. To discuss food is a taboo and if this were in person I would have just changed…

I wonder why you think I haven't seen that video as it's been posted here multiple times and I've commented on it. I was commenting on why I should care about what Nassim Taleb thinks about carbs. He's not a particularly svelte or athletic looking person. It seems like he's getting plenty of carbs.

Hahaha.

Re: Ask HN: Please, help me understand what I am doing wrong.

#130

Post by iamelgringo »

acid_bath wrote: post #61
iamelgringo wrote: post #52

My understanding of your problem: You're depressed, you can't focus on any one of your "hundred" ideas, you haven't paid off your debt on a $60k salary working for a fortune 500 company, and you aren't building cool shit like you really want to be doing. And you can't lose weight. Solution: Move to Silicon Valley/SF and get a job at a startup. There are tons of recently funded startups hiring right now. Guaranteed yo…

I'm going to offer a counter-point to your suggestion: I don't believe changing the external environment, or income, or people who you are near, is going to do jack shit. Here's why: I feel exactly like the OP. Failed weight loss. Failed relationships (in my case it's making good friends / co-worker relationships). A giant list of failed or incomplete side projects. Still can't pay off my loans. The difference: I mak…

While I understand your opinion, I couldn't disagree more.

I've lived in Costa Rica and Honduras as a child. As an adult, I've also lived in Minnesota, Chicago, Rhode Island, LA, Fresno and now the Bay Area.

Depending on your personality type, the city where you live is going to have a dramatic effect on your outlook on life. For instance, if you're a foodie or an artist Providence Rhode Island is going to be phenomenal for you. If you love sports, microbrews and hanging out with fraternity buddies, Chicago is phenomenal town. If you love hunting, fishing and "Going to the lake" every weekend, Minnesota is really wonderful. If you're trying to get into the film industry, or visual effects industry, there's no other place to be other than LA.

But, if you're a young programer and want to live in a place where in an evening you can meet over a hundred other programmers doing cool assed shit with in functional programming, NoSQL, startups, iPhone programming, mobile, search, natural language processing, etc... Then, I would suggest avoiding Dubuque Iowa, and I'd suggest moving to the Bay Area: http://www.meetup.com/Hackers-and-Founders/calendar/13712630...

No, location doesn't change who you area as a person, but it certainly does open up a lot of different options if you're interested in that.

No, making more money doesn't make you happier, but if you're seriously interested in debt reduction, and you commit to avoid "keeping up with the Joneses" and choose to live in a crap part of town for a year, while you pay down your credit cards, making $120k vs $60k is going to get you closer to your goal all other things being equal.

A job: Wow, I couldn't disagree with you more.

At 25 years old I'm not yet in the position of actually making big changes. Sure I can decide on a framework or the language to use, but do I choose which direction the company goes? Do I make hiring decisions? Not yet. Certainly in 5 years this will change but at 3 years out of college, even in startups, you're not given the sort of responsibility

Completely disagree. In the Silicon Valley startup scene, no one cares how old you are. They generally care about what you can do and how well you do it. I hang out with 23 year old founders that have raised millions in funding, have revenue, are close to profitable, and have hired a dozen people. I have a hunch the scene in NYC may be quite a bit different.

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