Ask HN: How do I find meaningful work?

Your link is quite a good read, and I say that as a "pair programming advocate". Some people don't like pair programming. Some people will never be particularly good at pair programming -- often for the very real and reasonable reason: because they don't want to. That doesn't mean it's a bad practice. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't build a team around that practice. It just means that some people won't want to join your team -- and if you are building your team around that practice, then that's an incredibly good thing!

I can tell you from experience that good pair programming teams exist. They get tremendous benefit from pair programming. These benefits may not be obvious to those who do not want to do pair programming -- even after a month of trying. The same can be said of many, many, many other practices.

At some point, when you are building a team, you have to decide on practices that you are going to follow -- even if those practices are, "Do whatever the heck you like". Imagine if you are working on such a team and everybody is getting along well and is productive. Imagine hiring someone and saying, "Feel free to institute any group wide practices that you want. You may force anyone to do anything you like". Yeah, obviously it won't work

Similarly, imagine working on a team with an established set of practices. Imagine that everyone is getting along well and is productive. Then imagine hiring someone and saying, "Feel free to work however you want. You can ignore any group wide practice that doesn't suit you." It's not nearly as obvious, I suppose, but that's just as disastrous. Everybody then has to work around that person and none of the practices work any more.

So, as you are building your team, you need to hire people who will be willing to work with your practices. If it's a "do whatever the heck you like" team, then you've got to be pretty clear: "We value programmer freedom over group coordination. We are unlikely to value practices that require everyone to work the same way". On the other side of the coin, if you are working in a coordinated manner (and is there anything more coordinated than pair programming???) then you have to be pretty clear, "This is how we work as a team. If you do not like that, then you will be very unlikely to be happy on this team".

Neither one of these scenarios is "ideological crap". It's reality. Both scenarios are realities that some people don't like -- and let's face it: both scenarios are referred to as "crap" by people who don't like it.

So, I get the point that you don't think pair programming is a practice that is worth build a team around. I think that's a thing where reasonable people can differ. But from the perspective of this thread, my best advice is to pick a team where you think you will be happy and successful. If you turn out to make a mistake, then try to find another team. If you go through that experience many times without finding a place where you can be happy -- perhaps you should consider the possibility that external factors are not the driving force in your unhappiness. YMMV.

What about designing software for prosthetics? Seems like that could make a huge difference in people's quality of life.

There’s a lot of “I don’t want X” in your text but no “this is what I believe in”. This is the core of your issue.

If you don’t have an ideal you work toward then you will always end up hating your job.

You sound like a smart guy, you just need to take some time and work out what your ideal world would be. When you know what that ideal is then work toward it every single day of your life.

EDIT

I’m guessing you’re someone who has looked to others to make decisions for you from the tone of your text.

You need to start putting faith in your own actions and needs, rather than getting advice from others.

Get married and have children. Make them happy and let them grow to happy adults. Or adopt children who weren't lucky enough to born in a happy family.

Start an own company, treat and pay your employees well that they can provide a happy and secure life to their children.