Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

theatlantic.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

21–30 of 62 posts

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#21

Post by ganeshkrishnan »

gerdesj wrote: post #6

This is fascinating stuff. Ta to whomever put it here for broadening my horizons a bit. I've been aware that my general cultural norms are not transferable worldwide but I'd always considered smiling a universal human thing that worked everywhere as a sign of friendliness. Many cultures nod their head for yes and shake for no. Some do the reverse. This I get (eventually) but smiling - really? Well, yes ... why not? I…

>smiling a universal human thing that worked everywhere as a sign of friendliness

Smiling is always a sign of friendliness. It's just that some places you cannot expect to smile at nothing and will end up looking silly. In those places even small talk is frowned upon unless you really want to be their friends.

The author missed the most important part in this: In these countries you cannot be friendly and not be friends. In western countries it's polite to smile and be friendly to strangers but we do not expect them to become our friends

>Many cultures nod their head for yes and shake for no. Some do the reverse.

I am not sure if you are thinking of India and it's a general stereotype that Indians do it reverse but we nod for yes and shake for no like the rest of the world with two exceptions: It's rude to say no to seniors in most asian cultures so juniors always say yes AND we have a third head shake which means I agree/ You are correct/ I will do it/Subject to interpretation

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#22

Post by DenisM »

dsabanin wrote: post #18

To me a much simpler explanation is that people in Russia are incredibly sad and life there is very sad and hard. However almost no one there realizes it until they get out for a prolonged period of time. Me and my wife were born and spent most of our life in Russia, we were pretty well of and yet since moving to US we realized how sad it actually was. The collective consciousness of Russia is still heavily polluted…

Ukraine was hit just as hard during the 20th century, if not harder, and yet I have observed the inhabitants of Kiev to be the most cheerful and smiling people (that was 20 years ago).

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#23

Post by DenisM »

Mikeb85 wrote: post #5

Knew this would be about Russia. I've often heard it said that the Slavic soul is one of constant malaise. Who knows if it's true, but living up in an inhospitable climate and 1000 years of war and strife can certainly shape a culture. My Ukrainian family also never smiles, even at the happiest of times it was barely more than a smirk, and laughter was never really a thing. No smiles in photos, ever. Yet all were sto…

Which part of Ukraine, if you don't mind sharing?

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#25

Post by adambmedia »

Reminds me of when my wife conveyed enthusiasm about her tech job to some family and friends of family back in France, how interesting the work was, creative, etc, only to have them snicker and declare, "look at you, so American now, you can't stop smiling." And yes, the connotation was something like vanity and superficiality.

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#26

Post by dsabanin »

DenisM wrote: post #22
dsabanin wrote: post #18

To me a much simpler explanation is that people in Russia are incredibly sad and life there is very sad and hard. However almost no one there realizes it until they get out for a prolonged period of time. Me and my wife were born and spent most of our life in Russia, we were pretty well of and yet since moving to US we realized how sad it actually was. The collective consciousness of Russia is still heavily polluted…

Ukraine was hit just as hard during the 20th century, if not harder, and yet I have observed the inhabitants of Kiev to be the most cheerful and smiling people (that was 20 years ago).

I completely agree with your assessment, and that leads me to believe that the Ukrainians and Russians do in fact have different cultures.

A lot of countries have been hit pretty hard during 20th century, but Russians were especially cruel to their own people and I believe that cuts much deeper. For example Golodomor in Ukraine is thought of as an external act of violence of Russians / Soviets, while concentration camps, mass executions in Soviet Russia were all done by Russians to Russians.

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#27

Post by int_19h »

dsabanin wrote: post #18

To me a much simpler explanation is that people in Russia are incredibly sad and life there is very sad and hard. However almost no one there realizes it until they get out for a prolonged period of time. Me and my wife were born and spent most of our life in Russia, we were pretty well of and yet since moving to US we realized how sad it actually was. The collective consciousness of Russia is still heavily polluted…

The problem with this theory is that it doesn't explain why smiling is more common in many countries that are a lot worse off than Russia, by most of the same metrics.

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#28

Post by int_19h »

ganeshkrishnan wrote: post #21
gerdesj wrote: post #6

This is fascinating stuff. Ta to whomever put it here for broadening my horizons a bit. I've been aware that my general cultural norms are not transferable worldwide but I'd always considered smiling a universal human thing that worked everywhere as a sign of friendliness. Many cultures nod their head for yes and shake for no. Some do the reverse. This I get (eventually) but smiling - really? Well, yes ... why not? I…

>smiling a universal human thing that worked everywhere as a sign of friendliness Smiling is always a sign of friendliness. It's just that some places you cannot expect to smile at nothing and will end up looking silly. In those places even small talk is frowned upon unless you really want to be their friends. The author missed the most important part in this: In these countries you cannot be friendly and not be frie…

He's probably thinking about Bulgaria, which is famous for this.

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#29

Post by int_19h »

ganeshkrishnan wrote: post #21
gerdesj wrote: post #6

This is fascinating stuff. Ta to whomever put it here for broadening my horizons a bit. I've been aware that my general cultural norms are not transferable worldwide but I'd always considered smiling a universal human thing that worked everywhere as a sign of friendliness. Many cultures nod their head for yes and shake for no. Some do the reverse. This I get (eventually) but smiling - really? Well, yes ... why not? I…

>smiling a universal human thing that worked everywhere as a sign of friendliness Smiling is always a sign of friendliness. It's just that some places you cannot expect to smile at nothing and will end up looking silly. In those places even small talk is frowned upon unless you really want to be their friends. The author missed the most important part in this: In these countries you cannot be friendly and not be frie…

> The author missed the most important part in this: In these countries you cannot be friendly and not be friends. In western countries it's polite to smile and be friendly to strangers but we do not expect them to become our friends

This is exactly it.

And it's much broader than smiling. You don't ask people "how are you?" as a greeting, for example, unless you actually care.

Re: Why Some Cultures Frown on Smiling (2016)

#30

Post by wruza »

dsabanin wrote: post #18

To me a much simpler explanation is that people in Russia are incredibly sad and life there is very sad and hard. However almost no one there realizes it until they get out for a prolonged period of time. Me and my wife were born and spent most of our life in Russia, we were pretty well of and yet since moving to US we realized how sad it actually was. The collective consciousness of Russia is still heavily polluted…

They'll downvote this because it is generalizing bullshit in almost every point made.
Post reply on HN