Why Happy People Cheat
theatlantic.com
Why Happy People Cheat
1–10 of 138 posts
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#2I wish social experimentation and progress happened at even 5% of the speed of technological progress.. why don't we just get rid of the idea that you 'own' your partner's body? It seems arcane and based in insecurity. If you can't handle even the slightest of erotic competition, how solid can the basis of your relationship be?
(Sorry for the overly controvesial wording if my post, I realize that filing more open relationships under 'social progress' is not obviously right, and would love to hear alternative perspectives, especially from people in stable happy long-term relationships)
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#3The reason it's ostensibly confusing is that the standard narrative of human sexuality—one sexual partner for life after getting married—is, forgive me, completely batshit insane. That's not to say that people haven't done it. People do, of course. And that's not to say that that's wrong or something, either. But the expectation of total 'fidelity' for life is unreasonable.
For more on this subject I recommend the book "Sex at Dawn."
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#4I wish social experimentation and progress happened at even 5% of the speed of technological progress.. why don't we just get rid of the idea that you 'own' your partner's body? It seems arcane and based in insecurity. If you can't handle even the slightest of erotic competition, how solid can the basis of your relationship be? (Sorry for the overly controvesial wording if my post, I realize that filing more open rel…
It's a personal thing. Some people don't like sharing one of the most intimate actions with their partner with other people.
If you can't handle even the slightest of erotic competition, how solid can the basis of your relationship be?
This is not helpful because some of the happiest relationships I know are very conservative (perhaps selfish in your view) relationships. Some people are monogamous, some aren't, no reason to judge either side.
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#5TLDR; It is possible to like more than one individual.
I for one doesn't understand why anyone would marry except for economical benefits/security.
Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners who enjoy me and eachother than a marriage with one. Since I believe that the male sex drive is bigger than that of women, I don't understand why I should be limited to just enjoy one other woman. However, this is hard to do because many women like the idea of marriage and have this impossible romantic view of the world. Love is not static, sometimes you love someone more and sometimes less. This changes over time just like everything else. But in our upbringing we learn from movies and our culture that love should be this static, non-changing thing and of course it will not work in a world that changes all the time.
A lot of marriages fail, probably because people change over time and we don't always like that. Let's just be more open and enjoy ourselves when we have such a short time alive.
EDIT: I understand that my opinions can be controversial, but you don't really have do downvote just because you do not agree with them.
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#6The reason it's ostensibly confusing is that the standard narrative of human sexuality—one sexual partner for life after getting married—is, forgive me, completely batshit insane. That's not to say that people haven't done it. People do, of course. And that's not to say that that's wrong or something, either. But the expectation of total 'fidelity' for life is unreasonable. For more on this subject I recommend the bo…
I think it's a waste of breath to promote or condemn one mode of relationship over another. All that matters is what you and your partner(s) agree on for the terms of your relationship.
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#7TLDR; It is possible to like more than one individual. I for one doesn't understand why anyone would marry except for economical benefits/security. Personally, I would much rather have 2 or more girlfriends/partners who enjoy me and eachother than a marriage with one. Since I believe that the male sex drive is bigger than that of women, I don't understand why I should be limited to just enjoy one other woman. However…
I would much rather have 2 girlfriends/partners
There always seems to be at least one partner in these relationships singing their praise through gritted teeth.
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#8I wish social experimentation and progress happened at even 5% of the speed of technological progress.. why don't we just get rid of the idea that you 'own' your partner's body? It seems arcane and based in insecurity. If you can't handle even the slightest of erotic competition, how solid can the basis of your relationship be? (Sorry for the overly controvesial wording if my post, I realize that filing more open rel…
Apparently morality is "arcane."
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#9The reason it's ostensibly confusing is that the standard narrative of human sexuality—one sexual partner for life after getting married—is, forgive me, completely batshit insane. That's not to say that people haven't done it. People do, of course. And that's not to say that that's wrong or something, either. But the expectation of total 'fidelity' for life is unreasonable. For more on this subject I recommend the bo…
Having only read the 'reception' part of the wiki article, especially about 'Sex at Dawn' 's allegedly sloppy methodology.. do you happen to know of any book(s) with similarly 'non-standard' views of human sexuality, but which are considered (more widely) to be argued for using a strongly rigorous methodology?
Re: Why Happy People Cheat
#10Because shitty people can still be happy people.