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Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

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151–160 of 211 posts

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#151
Teens are living in an isolated socitety from us that can seem like a strange stasi-germany enforced through guilt. Expectations are set for them to perform in measures that are unrelated to personal growth and developement, and from a young age. Different parties observe them and intervene on almost any deviation from expectation. The path is narrowing.

Underperform on a standardized school test, intervention. Spend too much time alone, intervention. Spend too much time online, intervention, admonishment. Test social boundaries and get in a fight, intervention, involve police. Can't spend all day in a poorly ventilated room, learning topics you never chose at a pace you can't control, without acting out; now you have to take pills. Skip class to try cigarettes, intervention and maybe CPS. Have you applied for college yet? You know you can't get a job without a degree. Apply yourself. Why are you falling behind? Apply yourself harder. Feel bad. You don't want to be flipping burgers do you? 4 more years without responsibilities, you'll remember them fondly.

Unless you excel academically or possibly athletically you are given nothing to be proud of. Anything else is a concession given in pity and children are made to know it. We make them feel bad for everything they don't master, but we make them keep doing it and we push them along so they're always behind. The only way to get off the merry-go-round is to drop out and flip burgers, but lately that has become a failure. A failure of talent, ambition, skill and - worst of all - character. It's no wonder that tey are risk-averse.

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#152
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, sex can be joyful. But sex is not a play toy, even if you're an atheist. The physiology of sex creates very strong bonding, and arbitrarily creating and then breaking those bonds is usually quite damaging to the human psyche.

I recently read Welcome to Your Brain , and the authors describe the neurochemical basis of those bond formations well, for those who might be interested.

Whos the publisher? Seems like an interesting read.

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#153

I thought the article was great and am surprised by the comments here. This theory is obviously true and quite fascinating: According to an evolutionary psychology theory that a person's "life strategy" slows down or speeds up depending on his or her surroundings, exposure to a "harsh and unpredictable" environment leads to faster development, while a more resource-rich and secure environment has the opposite effect,…

Can we distinguish between "have to work" versus "can't find work" at this distance?

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#154
The reason could be supernormal stimuli. If you can get a very good dopamine fix from video games, online pr0n and social apps, suddenly the real world isn't all that interesting anymore.

These kids are basically addicts. And addicts are generally known to not behave as responsible adults. So that would explain why these kids don't "grow up".

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#156
post #145
post #144

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree that it's not a bad thing necessarily, but I think the increase in mental health issues and loneliness (which often go together) might in part be caused by this ability to get some of our needs met in ways that at best provide a surrogate for other or perhaps deeper needs. Looking at myself, for example, I can safely say that I'm a bit of a loner. But the truth is that I get a fairly decent amount of social i…

I was much lonelier in my marriage than I have been since my divorce. This has been very eye opening. Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing and not necessarily even related. Loneliness is an unmet emotional hunger that is not automatically met by being around other people. Being lonely while not alone is a kind of hell that simply being alone does not begin to match. While married, I really thought I co…

Looking back with hindsight, were there any signs he would not have been a good husband before getting married? Did any of your friends tried to warn you against getting married to him?

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#157
post #15

There are a pile of different answers to these questions (not question), ones that should be asked separately. For example, excluding factors that affect all the questions, putting off drinking is likely a combination of consumer education and the difficulty in getting alcohol pre-21. Fewer adults want to provide their younger peers alcohol because of legal risks. Driving is the combination of increasing expense to d…

> Driving is the combination of increasing expense to drive a car you own, mandatory insurance, services like uber, and the need not to travel that modern technology presents.

Another reason is that the car is on decline as a status symbol. Tech gadgets such as iPhones are taking this place now.

Re: Why are today's teens putting off driving, dating and drinking?

#160

The reason could be supernormal stimuli. If you can get a very good dopamine fix from video games, online pr0n and social apps, suddenly the real world isn't all that interesting anymore. These kids are basically addicts. And addicts are generally known to not behave as responsible adults. So that would explain why these kids don't "grow up".

The "Adults" are addicts to. They just relied on different things. Like alcohol instead.
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