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The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

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Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#21

Post by ZenoArrow »

jasonmaydie wrote: post #13
seaknoll wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hmm I'd put the raincoat-in-the-car anecdote in the "neuroticism" category. I think of resilience as the ability to weather issues that you don't foresee.

>The curious thing is that I wasn’t so upset about what happened. Almost not upset at all. I set aside an emergency fund for such cases, so financially it wasn’t really a problem I think the two go hand in hand. You can't practice it if you're not prepared somehow for that eventuality. Having 2 child seats stolen while living paycheck to paycheck can be pretty devastating.

Resilience is about toughing it out when things go wrong. Wisdom is applying what you learn so you don't need to lean on resilience.

That said, I wouldn't wish financial hardship on anyone.

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#22

Post by yjftsjthsd-h »

mping wrote: post #6

Also beg to disagree. The most important skill you can cultivate is wisdom. How you cultivate it is another story, though.

Yes, wisdom is vital, but if you don't have it then it's hard to develop. How are you supposed to bootstrap? It's like learning with no feedback.

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#23

Post by mkstowegnv »

For many years prior to the current mindfulness wave, I have been practicing and preaching what I call "weather transferance". We humans do not become angry when harm comes to us because of weather, and so to avoid useless negative feelings, I suggest regarding annoying people as a form of bad weather. For example, I frequently find myself saying "What a shame. Too bad it is raining morons today".

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#24

Post by tcfunk »

mkstowegnv wrote: post #23

For many years prior to the current mindfulness wave, I have been practicing and preaching what I call "weather transferance". We humans do not become angry when harm comes to us because of weather, and so to avoid useless negative feelings, I suggest regarding annoying people as a form of bad weather. For example, I frequently find myself saying "What a shame. Too bad it is raining morons today".

Reminds me of the song "Disposition" by Tool.

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#25

Post by kenforthewin »

anvandare wrote: post #11

The most important skill is the meta-skill: the skill to acquire and improve skills. This requires resilience, patience, self-critical thinking, etc. A beginning hacker uses tools. An advanced hacker improves tools. A great hacker invents tools. An enlightened hacker sees (and invents/improves/uses) himself as a tool.

It's good to know you're a tool.

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#27

Post by humanrebar »

xutopia wrote: post #9
diego_moita wrote: post #5

I beg to disagree. You need to be careful with what you accept. Little by little, small things pile up and make a big difference. Some examples: * Nasty managers. You go on accepting one issue here and other there and the guy will just get worse and worse. * Collapsing countries, such as most of Latin America and Caribbean. You go on accepting some crime because "shit happens" until you are in a place where you just…

If you read the article he's not saying you should put up with bullshit but that the bullshit you have to put up with should not bring you down. The distinction is huge. I'm pretty sure that he'd agree with your point that allowing BS to accumulate is not a good way to live your life.

I'm on board with that, but I find that many (most?) people "reason" by estimating the magnitude of emotional impact.

That is, if I'm "zen" when people do things they shouldn't, to me or to people I care about, then people take that as "I only kind of care". I can politely spell out that it's not OK, that it needs to stop, etc., but some people do not think you are serious unless you are in some sort of heightened emotional state.

So, because they don't see an emotional escalation, when request turn into repercussions (like quitting a job or dis-inviting a guest), then people feel blindsided because I didn't communicate well in their terms (emotionally).

I'm not sure how to resolve this phenomenon. Could I escalate externally while staying innerly peaceful? Do I spell out consequences, basically laying down ulitmatums?

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#28

Post by ignoramceisblis »

humanrebar wrote: post #27
xutopia wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you read the article he's not saying you should put up with bullshit but that the bullshit you have to put up with should not bring you down. The distinction is huge. I'm pretty sure that he'd agree with your point that allowing BS to accumulate is not a good way to live your life.

I'm on board with that, but I find that many (most?) people "reason" by estimating the magnitude of emotional impact. That is, if I'm "zen" when people do things they shouldn't, to me or to people I care about, then people take that as "I only kind of care". I can politely spell out that it's not OK, that it needs to stop, etc., but some people do not think you are serious unless you are in some sort of heightened em…

I think that's something that you'll have to find out for yourself. One potential outcome would be that you lose your inner peace in an attempt to display your lack of control over a situation (or whatever emotions people believe you display).

But you bring up a very important matter, which seems to be more pronounced now with ubiquitous social media (more people having an outlet to act): many people seem to believe those who act "emotional" - eg. frightened, angry, happy - even if that act is a fraud. I think this is a major problem. Those acting the lie would disagree, but it can result in our resources being directed towards dead-end or harmful ways (such as efforts that benefit the deceiver most of all), especially at a time when our collective priorities matter so much.

My humble opinion would be to be true to yourself, and direct your attention and energy towards constructive actions, whenever possible.

Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate

#29

Post by TheLilHipster »

id_rsa wrote: post #4

I started working on resilience about a month ago after reading a post on HN regarding stoicism. I didn't know about stoicism prior to reading the post. In a short time it has had a positive impact on my life. Certain things just don't seem so stressful anymore.

Pragmatism, stoicism, resilience. morality.

It's the mental "gym" for living a healthy, happy life.

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