The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
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Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#2TL;DR: Resilience.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#3Short but great advice from this. Keeping things simple. Focus on the current moment. Undertstand there are things beyond our control. Work on things even when they seem difficult. Life skills. That's all there is to it.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#4I started working on resilience about a month ago after reading a post on HN regarding stoicism. I didn't know about stoicism prior to reading the post. In a short time it has had a positive impact on my life. Certain things just don't seem so stressful anymore.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#5I beg to disagree. You need to be careful with what you accept. Little by little, small things pile up and make a big difference.
Some examples:
* Nasty managers. You go on accepting one issue here and other there and the guy will just get worse and worse.
* Collapsing countries, such as most of Latin America and Caribbean. You go on accepting some crime because "shit happens" until you are in a place where you just can't raise your kids without fear.
I used to think like that when living in South America. But when my oldest son was born I just said to myself: enough is enough, gotta get out of here; I don't want this as a future for him.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#6Also beg to disagree. The most important skill you can cultivate is wisdom. How you cultivate it is another story, though.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#7I beg to disagree. You need to be careful with what you accept. Little by little, small things pile up and make a big difference. Some examples: * Nasty managers. You go on accepting one issue here and other there and the guy will just get worse and worse. * Collapsing countries, such as most of Latin America and Caribbean. You go on accepting some crime because "shit happens" until you are in a place where you just…
There is a distinction between making rational decisions based on events and being negatively emotionally affected by them.
You can leave your manager or country while laughing at the absurdity of the situation and being grateful for having had a unique experience.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#8I have great resilience, my wife doesn't. I know enough to say that you just can't learn resilience (nor ask another person to). It's also a personality trait, resilient people tend to think about what could go wrong; my wife gives me weird looks if I put a raincoat in the car on a sunny day.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#9I beg to disagree. You need to be careful with what you accept. Little by little, small things pile up and make a big difference. Some examples: * Nasty managers. You go on accepting one issue here and other there and the guy will just get worse and worse. * Collapsing countries, such as most of Latin America and Caribbean. You go on accepting some crime because "shit happens" until you are in a place where you just…
If you read the article he's not saying you should put up with bullshit but that the bullshit you have to put up with should not bring you down. The distinction is huge. I'm pretty sure that he'd agree with your point that allowing BS to accumulate is not a good way to live your life.
Re: The Most Important Skill You Can Cultivate
#10I have great resilience, my wife doesn't. I know enough to say that you just can't learn resilience (nor ask another person to). It's also a personality trait, resilient people tend to think about what could go wrong; my wife gives me weird looks if I put a raincoat in the car on a sunny day.
> I know enough to say that you just can't learn resilience
So based on your anecdotal experience you have concluded resilience cannot be learned? I find this statement ridiculous, especially considering science shows the opposite.
> The good news is that positive construal can be taught. “We can make ourselves more or less vulnerable by how we think about things,” Bonanno said. In research at Columbia, the neuroscientist Kevin Ochsner has shown that teaching people to think of stimuli in different ways—to reframe them in positive terms when the initial response is negative, or in a less emotional way when the initial response is emotionally “hot”—changes how they experience and react to the stimulus. You can train people to better regulate their emotions, and the training seems to have lasting effects.
https://www.newyorker.com/science/maria-konnikova/the-secret...