Live data from Hacker News

Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

news.ycombinator.com

11–20 of 88 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#12
Don't be alone- suck up your pride and your pain and make sure you're never alone. And don't be afraid to call a bunch of people you've never talked to in a while: it's just laziness and the disconnectedness of modern life, they're still your friends.

Don't stay up late by yourself, sleep immediately or go somewhere where you /aren't alone/.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#13
I second everyone else's advice to find support with a professional. It's definitely the "best" solution, but I've not had great experiences with that and maybe you're in the same boat.

If there is someone, a family member or significant other that you trust, be sure to tell them how you are feeling. When you are in a dark place, it's easy to get tunnel vision. They may not be able to "fix it" the way a professional can, but they may be able to help you along and give you the perspective you need.

There is a book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" which has been great for me and my husband. Basically, you find out which profile fits you, and then it gives you specific advice for how to improve yourself. When I was reading my own profile, and that of my husbands, I was like yes, yes that's it! It was like it was describing us personally. And we had already learned through self-study some of the benefits that helped us. But once we saw them reinforced, we know to do them more consciously.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#14
I had an extremely close friend kill himself just before christmas this year. I found out later that he'd been planning it for quite some time (I'm 24, he was 21).

He seemed fine. He hid his feelings well, and expected people to ask how he was doing. When people did ask him how he was doing, he'd say he was fine, again, expecting people to dig deeper.

He's gone. Forever. I think about him nearly every day and I wish he was here.

You really do have an effect on people, even if you don't think so. You do. If you're gone, people will miss you. They won't just miss you, but they'll be so stricken with grief they might not recover for a long, long time.

Fuck that. Not worth it. Not worth it for yourself or for the people you love and the people who love you.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#17
post #9

What you're talking about is called suicidal ideation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation . (Google those keywords to learn more.) I have dealt with this issue for 20 years. The first 10 years, I thought I was going to die. But I've learned to lower my suicidal ideation levels tremendously by trial and error. It was reassuring for me to learn from a psychologist friend that (A) suicidal ideation is the "l…

P.S. If you do see a psychologist, go to a psychologist who uses "positive psychology": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Seligman#Positive_psycho....

Freudian/Yungian take a "mental illness model" approach that doesn't work for people like us, I believe. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and other approaches are much more effective, in my opinion.

You should also read Martin Seligman's books (Learned Optimism and What You Can Change and What You Can't) as well, and Dan Gilbert's new book: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stumbling_on_Happiness

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#18
I also do have those suicidal thoughts, I gave up internships, friends and stuff to get better at programming and do a startup but I didn't get anywhere yet, I don't even have an idea. That made me lose some contacts and I hardly go out. But the deal is... I belive in myself so should you too, also I can't let the people that care about me down. In life you have a history ahead and you are a part of what will happen in the future of many people, of your future husband/wife, of your kids and many more. One thing that i do to relieve depression is work out, I seriously hate it but in the end of it I feel good and that I did the "exercise of the day" or go for a walk. Lately I haven't really taken my emotions seriously(yea... i'm even getting used to it) so I haven't been that much depressed.

I hope you do fine.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#19
post #9

What you're talking about is called suicidal ideation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation . (Google those keywords to learn more.) I have dealt with this issue for 20 years. The first 10 years, I thought I was going to die. But I've learned to lower my suicidal ideation levels tremendously by trial and error. It was reassuring for me to learn from a psychologist friend that (A) suicidal ideation is the "l…

> Stop drinking if you lose control of yourself while drunk, especially if you're a sad drunk. Or at least limit the number of drinks you consume.

Coming from someone who struggles with anxiety and paranoia, the first thing I was told when I went to the psychiatrist was to quit drinking. I am by no means an alcoholic, but I used to go out probably twice a week and I'd also have a beer after work to unwind.

The results were like night and day. All I had to do was not drink during the week and go out less (maybe once every two weeks). You may not be in this boat, but if you are you're doing yourself a favor to cut back.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?

#20
post #9

What you're talking about is called suicidal ideation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation . (Google those keywords to learn more.) I have dealt with this issue for 20 years. The first 10 years, I thought I was going to die. But I've learned to lower my suicidal ideation levels tremendously by trial and error. It was reassuring for me to learn from a psychologist friend that (A) suicidal ideation is the "l…

> Stop drinking if you lose control of yourself while drunk, especially if you're a sad drunk. Or at least limit the number of drinks you consume. Coming from someone who struggles with anxiety and paranoia, the first thing I was told when I went to the psychiatrist was to quit drinking. I am by no means an alcoholic, but I used to go out probably twice a week and I'd also have a beer after work to unwind. The result…

Yeah, that can really help. The worst part is the next day hangover. Dealing with suicidal ideation and a hangover is not fun. Also, if you're like me, you feel bad about yourself when you "waste a day" on a weekend while nursing your hangover.
Post reply on HN