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You are not 'behind'

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Re: You are not 'behind'

#201

Post by lgas »

rytill wrote: post #125
anvandare wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

To the best of my knowledge, yes. It's possible I once overheard/read it somewhere, and have forgotten the source, but it lingered in my brain somewhere. In addition, with 100 billion+ people existing throughout the entirety of the human race, it's unlikely I was the first to think of anything I've ever thought.

(100 billion people) * (the amount of thoughts a person has their life) is quite large, but I think nowhere near the amount of permutations of thoughts and emotions to go with them someone can reasonably have. I bet your thoughts are more unique than you think.

But the thoughts people think aren't evenly distributed -- they primarily center around the same things.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#202

Post by maccard »

tigershark wrote: post #199
maccard wrote: post #195

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not everyone pays a service charge (or factoring fee). My building doesn't have one I pay council tax of 120/month. 400 a month is far too high for 2 people - according to the ons [0] the average for a family of 4 is 56.80 (which seems a little on the low side to me, but is definitely enough for 2 people) - we spend a little less than that on breakfast/lunch/ 7 days, and dinner 6 nights for 2, and that includes our n…

A family of 4 does all the grocery shopping with 56.80£ per month in London? I can't really imagine what they're eating with 47p a day . From the prices that I see around they can probably afford 1/2 pint of milk a day and not even a yoghurt. I am quite curious what they eat for lunch and dinner. I like to eat properly, for sure I don't buy the cheapest shit that you can find. Fresh fish at least once a week, some si…

I don't know m, in only quoting the statistic from the ONS - https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/personal... (apologies I forgot to put it in the last post). Alcohol is separate to food spending. I posted a breakdown of my shopping this week below. You don't have to eat the most expensive meat or drink the most expensive beer or wine to eat and drink well. On the point of 47p and a pint of milk - I don't know any families of four that buy their milk by the pint. They buy it by 4 pints, which in my local supermarket is 1.00 for 4 pints. Similarly, not everyone is buying their eggs organic by the half dozen, changes are a family of four is soending 1.60 on 15 free range eggs instead

Based on your comments in this thread, I can only assume that you like to indulge, and part of that indulgence is in price (seriously, 400 quid a month is exorbitant for 2 people), and that's perfectly fine. What's not ok is projecting your inability to live without sirloin steak, fresh fish, imported cheese on to everyone. You come across like an elitist snob.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#203

Post by Cyberdelic »

Dwelling in the past is a waste of time, but so is living in the future... Focus on what you can do now. Today. Otherwise, it becomes too easy to put things off for Future You to deal with...

Re: You are not 'behind'

#204

Post by grwthckrmstr »

jaggederest wrote: post #76
tastyface wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For me personally, "being lazy" is awful because I'm stuck in a constant battle between my personality (which wants to mould to the shape of my couch and watch TV forever) and my mind (which desperately wants to leave a mark on the world). Every day I spend couch potatoing feels like a complete and utter failure of the soul, and it seems like most of my effort is actually spent on trying to bend my personality into t…

I've felt like this my entire life. Turns out for me that it is a symptom of (undiagnosed) ADHD - an execution problem, not a motivational problem. Having gotten that diagnosed, it's a very significant change in my life. To be cliche, the first day of the rest of my life. For many people, "trying to bend their personality into the shape [they] want it to be" is fruitless, totally counterproductive. The first thing I…

You've got a very strong point.

The role of environment is severely underrated. Not just in our failures, but in our successes as well.

Motivation runs dry, but environment can be set up to work in your favour.

For example, if you sold your couch and TV, you wouldn't watch TV first thing after getting home or on weekends.

This isn't to say that you'll magically become more productive, but to just illustrate how changing the environment can have a profound effect on your habits and therefore, your life.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#205

Post by kakarot »

eli_gottlieb wrote: post #189
kakarot wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ha. I once heard ADHD described by a behavioral scientist as "making a list of chores and putting it up on the fridge so you'll see it every day, and every day you see it but forget the moment you're out of the kitchen" (not verbatim) Having severe ADHD, coupled with a seemingly unalterable indifferent outlook on life due to manic depressive disorder and childhood trauma has given me a morbid sense of satisfaction in…

Wait a second. Future me? Ok, so there's time travel in the future. But why did you come back? Did our goals all fail? Was global warming that bad? What are you trying to alter in the timeline? Use the code-phrase I'm logging in my private folder on Keybase and get in touch. (But seriously, damn our lives sound similar. Any advice for dealing with the problem?)

I came back in time to prevent us from ever going back in time. Sounds complicated, and trust me it is. All will become clear soon.

I wish I had some smidgen of life advice, but we're even more fucked up in the future than we are now, I'm afraid.

Jokes aside, what I've been doing is finding fun ways to strengthen my discipline while picking up useful skills. I picked up the Rubik's cube about a year ago, I'm now under a minute and a half and won't stop until I'm under ten seconds. Then I will learn how to balance things on my fingers and other body parts. Then I will learn how to juggle.

No, I'm not training to become a circus clown. Just noticing my weaknesses (visualization, dexterity, coordination, etc) and finding fun ways to mitigate them. The discipline involved in my incremental daily progress will hopefully carry over to other aspects of my life.

I keep a pack of index cards and a pen within arms reach, and make tons of lists and notes and keep them around my monitor so I see them ten hours a day. I try to take care of at least 1-3 things on these lists a day. I condense my daily soul-crushing feelings of loneliness and desperation to between 3-4am.

I have a million and one great ideas and I write them all down, but I only allow myself to focus on 1-2 projects at a time. This creates a small sense of embarrassment, as I love to work through my ideas by discussing them with others even if I don't actually plan on implementing them any time soon, but I worry it comes across to others as me talking about doing all sorts of things that I will never do, simply because I don't bother communicating that I'm just talking through these ideas to find their flaws. But that's ok, eventually I will have things to show for it.

I'm not satisfied with the speed of my progress, but that's ok. If I was, it means I'm not aiming for lofty enough goals. I should never be satisfied with the person I am, because I should never settle for what I have.

Anyway, that's what works for me for now, hope some of it helps.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#206

Post by mindentropy »

Cthulhu_ wrote: post #159
yogipatel wrote: post #137

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I fantasize about having a job that doesn't involve me sitting on a computer nearly 100% of the time for the same reason. edit: formatting

I get that too sometimes. Watching woodworking videos on youtube is very satisfying. Not something I'd do myself quickly (I'm comfortable with the money I'm making at the moment), but I can imagine it's a very soothing line of work. The videos are often very quiet and focused too, much like software development in the zone - and unlike software developers, artisans are generally left alone with their craft and how th…

Me too. I have a very "maker" spirit and I really love the woodworking and the metalworking videos on youtube. In addition I love car restoration and build videos too. Unfortunately for me I don't have the resources to do any of the above at the side although I am thinking of working on my car and doing the small little things instead of the mechanic.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#207

Post by mindentropy »

bluker wrote: post #97

I love this story about Charlie Munger which can be found here: https://www.joshuakennon.com/if-charlie-munger-didnt-quit-wh... In the past five years, I've started and sold a company. Bought a house on a golf course, purchased expensive foreign cars and went on insane trips all over the world. Last year, my wife woke up one morning and told me that she no longer wanted to be married (that's a story for another time)…

Thanks for sharing your experience and links. I too am going through a similar experience and this is helpful.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#208

Post by ck425 »

closeparen wrote: post #200
ck425 wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can live indefinitely on way less a million. :) http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-sim...

MMM is about voluntary acceptance of a poverty lifestyle. I don't disagree that you can live indefinitely on very little, if you are willing to adopt extreme asceticism.

In what way is it a poverty lifestyle? It's about maximising the quality of life to money ratio.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#209

Post by lkbm »

ruleabidinguser wrote: post #81
enraged_camel wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Nah, I want "fuck you money" so that work becomes optional. I want to work on what I want, not what someone else wants. I want to work because I want to, not because I have to. Retirement isn't good enough. By the time you retire you are in your 60s, which is too late for me.

No one really wants to work

I would like to spend all day doing fun, personal projects. But I've tried having all day to spend on fun personal projects, and it turns out spend the time "goofing off". (Not "enjoying life" goofing off, but "dopamine cycle on Facebook" goofing off.)

I like work because it has me doing stuff that's similar to what I want to do in my free time, but provides the necessary incentives to actually do it each day.

My job isn't perfect, but it has me doing productive, rewarding, mostly-interesting stuff with a bunch of smart people whom I like and can learn from.

It's worse than my dream life for my dream self, but it's better than my dream life for my actual self. I may not be behind, but I still like to feel like I'm moving forward, and work does that for me.

On the other hand, I did quite enjoy my ~1 month of working four-hour days a few years back, so there's probably a better balance than I have right now.

Re: You are not 'behind'

#210

Post by ehnto »

grwthckrmstr wrote: post #204
jaggederest wrote: post #76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've felt like this my entire life. Turns out for me that it is a symptom of (undiagnosed) ADHD - an execution problem, not a motivational problem. Having gotten that diagnosed, it's a very significant change in my life. To be cliche, the first day of the rest of my life. For many people, "trying to bend their personality into the shape [they] want it to be" is fruitless, totally counterproductive. The first thing I…

You've got a very strong point. The role of environment is severely underrated. Not just in our failures, but in our successes as well. Motivation runs dry, but environment can be set up to work in your favour. For example, if you sold your couch and TV, you wouldn't watch TV first thing after getting home or on weekends. This isn't to say that you'll magically become more productive, but to just illustrate how chang…

After realising I had succumb to the quick-fire, quick-fix attitude of phones and social media, I used my now shortened attention span against itself by putting barriers between me and those quick fixes.

If I want to check my phone I have to go get it and wait for it to turn on. If I want to check distracting sites on my computer, I'll have to log in first. They're small, but normally what happens is I will start to slip out of focus, by habit I will punch in the distracting site, realise I need to log in and go "Oh yeah, not now" and then get back to work. It's like a focus cue for when my brain goes on auto-pilot. I find I check far less often now because my brain knows there's no reward there.

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