Personally (I'm 36) I like the 'pressure' I receive all the time, from all over the place, like the ones mentioned in the article: why don't I have a six-pack, why am I not more 'perfect' with my g/f, why am I not working on my startup, why haven't I made a billion yet, why is Elon Musk so f---ing more productive, and so on. It shows me that more can be done, I could do more, it pushes me to do more. I realize it would be more comfortable to not have all these pushy signals around, but comfortable is sth I want to be when I'm 50+ or 60+, not right now.
You are not 'behind'
21–30 of 218 posts
Re: You are not 'behind'
#22For the past 10 years, I only spent about 4 to 8 hours per week on entertainment - All the rest of my time was divided between work and sleep (I only sleep 5 hours per day on weekdays). Financially, I have nothing to show for it unfortunately so I really feel like I'm behind and that I've missed the boat on many things. What makes it particularly difficult is that I was working really hard the whole time - When I rea…
> Financially, I have nothing to show
Was this because individual projects or endeavors were not successful, or the companies you invested time in were not?
Also, the results of the last 10 years can help determine the approach of the next 10. Until you are too old or sick to move, there is always time for R&R.
(Disclaimer: I'm approaching 50 and always feel behind)
Re: You are not 'behind'
#23The article as a whole is nonsensical.
It is a little bit correct when it says that regret is not a useful reaction to a past you're unhappy with, but even that by itself is misleading. Regret is a useful emotion that helps you shape future actions. What is not useful is paralyzing regret, or any flavor of regret that keeps you wallowing in the past.
When he says "you are not behind", that is mostly wrong. If you're 25 and aren't yet doing anything individual and attemptedly groundbreaking with your life, you probably are behind, if that kind of thing is your goal. Sticking your head in the sand is not going to make this better. Being complacent and saying it's fine, I am only 25, no wait 26, no wait 27 until you are 40 isn't going to help either.
There is a reason the human mind is able to conjure phantasmal pictures of "where we should be" -- because that is useful. If you choose to ignore that in order to have a shallow feel-good time in the short term, you do so to your own detriment.
All that said, if you are genuinely content with where you are today, then everything is fine and you don't need externally-imposed images to tell you where you "should" be. This advice is only for people who deep-down want to build interesting new things.
My last comment is ... this seems like an excerpt from a self-help book written by someone who perhaps should gain further life experience before writing a self-help book. When you decide to write a self-help book you take upon yourself a substantial ethical burden, because if you give the wrong advice, you can affect many peoples' lives in a negative way. So you should make sure you really know what you are talking about.
Re: You are not 'behind'
#24For the past 10 years, I only spent about 4 to 8 hours per week on entertainment - All the rest of my time was divided between work and sleep (I only sleep 5 hours per day on weekdays). Financially, I have nothing to show for it unfortunately so I really feel like I'm behind and that I've missed the boat on many things. What makes it particularly difficult is that I was working really hard the whole time - When I rea…
The only person you are ever in competition with is yourself. Our 'competitors' are
just the measurements against which we compare and test ourselves.
Think of your life as a sand castle. Sure, others have nicer ones (or worse ones), but in the end they will all be swept away by the tide. The existence of other castles in no way diminishes the value of your own. All that matters is that you are happy with the castle are building, because that's the only person you are building the castle for. Life is a game, but it does not have a high score screen at the end.
(Or, to sound more down-to-earth: no use crying over spilled milk.)
Re: You are not 'behind'
#25"Don't waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself." -Mary Schmich
Re: You are not 'behind'
#26For the love God, why is the opacity set to 0 on the text? So that JS can be used to fade in the text... Why would you do this? You're just annoying people who do have JS enabled with annoying animations and barring people who don't have JS enabled from reading your content. It's not even that JS is used to dynamically fetch the content, all the content is right there in the HTML, it's just deliberately hidden with C…
> For the love God, why is the opacity set to 0 on the text? So that JS can be used to fade in the text...
Ah.
How long was I supposed to wait for this fade-in? I skim/read the HN comments, went back and the body was still blank.
"Too cute to read."
Re: You are not 'behind'
#27"Don't waste time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself." -Mary Schmich
For nostalgia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
Re: You are not 'behind'
#28The fear of regret can be quite motivating, but regret itself is unremittingly demotivating. Isn't that strange?
Perhaps the best mindset is to always forgive yourself for past mistakes and believe that you can accomplish everything that you want - but only if you get to work right now. After all, if you don't, you'll regret it.
Re: You are not 'behind'
#29This is very Stoic in its philosophy. If you agree with it, you may enjoy reading 'Meditions', a collection of writings from the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, from aprox. 170 C.E. which explore many Stoic ideas.
Re: You are not 'behind'
#30The article as a whole is nonsensical. It is a little bit correct when it says that regret is not a useful reaction to a past you're unhappy with, but even that by itself is misleading. Regret is a useful emotion that helps you shape future actions. What is not useful is paralyzing regret, or any flavor of regret that keeps you wallowing in the past. When he says "you are not behind", that is mostly wrong. If you're…
I'll be honest, the post originally came off as fluffy, though not enough to say anything about it, but your comment made me reread it.
I really don't think you guys disagree that much. You're talking about different perspectives (not behind yourself vs not behind others) and a different focus (you on regret, him on forgiveness). Otherwise you both have some great wisdom in what you've said, don't think it's necessary to put him down so thoroughly.