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Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

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Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#61
post #45
post #13

Eventually, it didn't change me much, but I do spend a bit more on cheap frivolous stuff (like http://store.xkcd.com/xkcd/#Sudo ). But then I have been through the cycle twice. Initially I was broke. When I got my first real job (after undergrad in India), I felt like I had all the money in the world. In the first few months, I bought myself a nice camera, motorbike, smartphone, gifts for family and my girlfriend, st…

This is not FU money. FU money is not worrying about having to work.

Maybe it is to him.... I've known a remarkable number of folks who had "FU money" with $20k in the bank.

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You went to a bar in... let me guess... Hoboken? That's where all the junior bankers and golddiggers live and hang out. In Brooklyn, nobody cares and you'll get laid LESS if you're a typical finance dildo. There are so many single women in NYC only complete losers and trolls cannot pull trim.

I must be doing something wrong. I moved to the Bay Area from Brooklyn and my success rate skyrocketed.

Changes of environment (like moving) are known to trigger changes in behaviour that were latent. It may well have been this change in behaviour (acting more confident, more mature maybe?) not the change of locale.

When I say latent, it means that you felt more confident for a while before the move already, but it took the move, which brought anonymity, for you to externalize it.

This is why tourists act crazy, and even introverted shy people can act exuberantly on holiday. Or like your case, after a move.

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not for money, it's for security. It's really no worse than what guys do.

It's really not worse at all, both are just people doing what they evolved to do. Society frowns upon it more so many of them feel they have to be coy about it.

Dishonesty is not worse than honesty, simply because it's evolved? By that logic, rape is also not worse than consensual sex (assuming it's evolved behavior).

As rational and moral beings, aren't we supposed to transcend some of our evolutionary instincts?

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#64
post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Spot on. I probably should cross the rivers more often, but hey, two trains. I'm actually not complaining about difficulty getting laid; it's easy enough that it's gotten boring. The real difficulty is finding girls you want to do more than sleep with. Incidentally, Brooklyn is hardly a panacea. A girl in Brooklyn once kicked me out of her apt at 3AM after, while discussing life I accidentally revealed the size of my…

Haha, what did she say to kick you out?

It took a minute for her to realize that my comfortable savings was a few months in a third world country. She started quizzing me on my career -- "But you are a math professor!" "Postdoc, but close enough." "But ...?" Somewhere along the way, she suggested postdocs earned 6 figures, and I just giggled.

As the reality sank in, she asked me something along the lines of "how can you only have $XXX [her guess as to my net worth] in the bank?" She kicked me out immediately after I said "I could live for a year on $XXX." Once she concluded I was just a middle class guy, she just said something like "I'd like you to leave, this isn't what I expected."

Maybe I'm not a great judge of character, but I honestly was completely blindsided by this. (I'd have been more annoyed if it happened at 2AM rather than 3AM, of course.)

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#65
I've been meaning to write about this one day. There are some things that change. For example, you learn to distinguish problems that can be solved with money from those that can't. You can buy your way out of a lot of schleps.

Life doesn't get an order of magnitude more enjoyable, because you still can't buy your way out of the most serious types of problems, but a lot of annoyances are removed.

The best part is what I thought would be the best part: not having to worry about money. Before Viaweb I'd been living pretty hand to mouth, doing occasional consulting. It felt like treading water, in the sense that while it wasn't hard, I knew in the back of my mind that I'd drown if I stopped. Getting rich felt like reaching the shore.

One thing you learn when you get rich, though, is how few of your problems were caused by not being rich. When you can do whatever you want, you get a variant of the terror induced by the proverbial blank page. There are a lot of people who think the thing stopping them from writing that great novel they plan to write is the fact that their job takes up all their time. In fact what's stopping 99% of them is that writing novels is hard. When the job goes away, they see how hard.

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's this sort of black-and-white distinction between "good girls" and "gold diggers" and it's entirely imaginary. I'll spare you the evolutionary psychology behind it (which is easy to find if you're interested) but all women care about a man's success (of which money is merely the most frequent, but not only, indicator) to a large degree. Saying a girl doesn't care about money is like saying a guy doesn't care a…

The difference between the two is honesty. A guy will tell a girl "I thought you were beautiful, and wanted to meet you". A girl will rarely say "I thought you were rich, and wanted to meet you." For whatever reason, the vast majority of golddiggers are utterly dishonest about what they are really seeking. This leads men to get into bad relationships (which they would have avoided if the woman were honest), and they…

That's not fair though, because society frowns on golddiggers. Just imagine the confidence it takes to declare yourself a golddigger as opposed to saying you like hot chicks. Social pressure is by far the dominant factor at play here.

The interesting question is why is it so? Maybe because money-making ability is a somewhat less intrinsic quality. Maybe it's the undeniability of the biological response when you see someone beautiful. Some would call it sexism and leave it at that.

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#67
post #61
post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is not FU money. FU money is not worrying about having to work.

Maybe it is to him.... I've known a remarkable number of folks who had "FU money" with $20k in the bank.

Homeless broke people say FU all the time. FU money means never having to work another day for the rest of your life. $20k might mean that in a few places in the world, but some happy-go-lucky personality who doesn't know where their next buck is coming from doesn't count.

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#68
post #57

This is a stupid thread. It's addressing a problem that most HN readers would love to have, but don't, so it's simply a bunch of pleasant daydreaming, not a useful discussion of how to solve a real problem. I understand that people on HN want to be rich; I'd rather see an HN filled with articles that help materially in getting there, not one talking about how great (or not?) it is to be rich.

It's probably wise to think about it while you still have some perspective.

Imagine the let-down of working your ass off and getting the big payday only to screw it all up because you were psychologically unprepared.

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#69
post #65

I've been meaning to write about this one day. There are some things that change. For example, you learn to distinguish problems that can be solved with money from those that can't. You can buy your way out of a lot of schleps. Life doesn't get an order of magnitude more enjoyable, because you still can't buy your way out of the most serious types of problems, but a lot of annoyances are removed. The best part is wha…

What kind of schleps have you bought yourself out of? If you prefer a less personal question, what kind of schleps could one buy oneself out of?

Re: Ask PG & other successful folks: how did your life change after FU money?

#70

I think about this all the time. I didn't make "FU money" from an exit, but rather from the ongoing success of a couple of online businesses, which have been earning me far more than I know how to spend. When this started happening, my initial reaction was to be perplexed, because I no longer had a financial motivation to get up in the morning and work. Money had been the most salient part of my motivation for as lon…

It seems sad to own a second home and not share it with your friends. The thing that makes me the happiest is hanging with my oldest and dearest friends. That often happens at one of our parents second homes (I don't have one), so maybe that really changes things.
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