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I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

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Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#151

Post by rconti »

citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

It seemed pretty clear from the context that she was referring not to a solitary instance, but a dinnertime prohibition on electronics.

And if not, it's a good place to start.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#152

Post by thebaer »

The problem isn't with devices or necessarily "screen time" but with the types of software on these devices. Social media is just 21st century TV -- that's why it's harmful. The platforms that are ad-driven and engineered to be addictive don't help us connect in the same meaningful ways we get offline.

So as you might restrict your kids' time watching TV, parents should be aware of the amount of time kids spend on interactive TV. Phones are particularly demonized because their omnipresence encourages more consumption, but really they're just the physical manifestation of the individual problems starting inside the devices. (Aside: I'd really be curious to know the amount of time people spend passively consuming information on social media vs. creating / contributing.)

And as an industry I think it's important we find other business models. We build these apps for "stickiness" and "engagement" -- seemingly innocuous metrics that ultimately accumulate to form these larger societal issues.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#153

Post by mulmen »

artursapek wrote: post #99
mulmen wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wonder about the efficacy of banning the devices entirely until a certain point. Is that all that is done or is an attempt made to teach children how to responsibly use the devices so they don't gorge themselves when the ban is lifted?

There is an attempt and they are conscious of the fact that outright bans never work. It's more about preventing media from influencing the childrens' development, especially early on.

That's great then. As adults were are left to our own devices to figure out how to use new technology. Giving children those mechanisms will serve them well long-term.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#154

Post by throwaway42323 »

s3nnyy wrote: post #56
careersuicide wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

> sad to me when I see couples at a niceish restaurant and neither person is talking and both are looking at Facebook or Twitter Is that like a Bay Area thing? Sounds really terrible to me (I live in Europe)

I live in Europe and I wouldn't say that it is much "better" here - it depends on the places and the subcultures obviously, but for sure you will also see lots of people staring at their phones (and I admit to do it myself from time to time).

Nobody would say s(he) is a bad driver, but so many people complain about the driving of other people.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#155

Post by irishasaurus »

careersuicide wrote: post #18
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I think this is the one thing about technology I'm old fashioned about (I roll my eyes hard when people say stuff like "You should delete your Facebook account, you'll be better off."). If I'm eating food with someone else the phone goes away. The only exception is if in the course of conversation an easily googleable question is asked and both the other person/people and I are actually interested in the answer inste…

I'd say 9 out of 10 of those couples you see on their screens in a restaurant are on a first date.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#156

Post by khedoros1 »

logfromblammo wrote: post #83
nsxwolf wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree but some of these things sound like moral panics about black rectangles. I don't remember people shaking their heads at parents reading a paperback book at the park, or commuters reading broadsheet newspapers on the train.

As a transhumanist, I see the recent advertisement campaign for device-free dinners as an implicit accusation that devices necessarily inhibit interpersonal engagement rather than enhance it. A device-free social event makes as much sense to me as having an equipment-free sporting event. Imagine playing baseball without bats, balls, or gloves. Imagine soccer without balls or goals. The family dinner with meaningful c…

In theory, devices can enhance social engagement. In actuality, they more commonly put up barriers. You name my nightly meal a myth. I'll name yours an unrealistic fantasy.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#157

Post by [deleted] »

arghIdontwantto wrote: post #98
careersuicide wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I live in Texas. I've seen it all over here and pretty much every other state I've visited in the last few years. Maybe it's an American thing?

You see it all around Europe as well. I live in a touristy area and Germans, English, French and Spanish are guilty of this as well. Right now I'm working from a restaurant and would say 1/4 of the people are looking at a phone (give or take, didn't count!)

[deleted]

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#158

Post by titanomachy »

bpicolo wrote: post #5
rayiner wrote: post #4

It's a level-headed article. Parenting, like almost nothing else, turns normal, intelligent, educated people into nutters. A rational, evidence-based conversation about screen time, breastfeeding, pregnancy, birth, education, and diet is increasingly impossible to have, especially with millennial parents. I just got my four year old an iPhone (with a data plan, because she realized she didn't have wifi in the car). I…

Four is a bit early to be going to work

That's parenting advice I can get behind.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#159

Post by JoshMnem »

citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

That is mind-boggling. When I grew up in the 80s (before mobile devices), the rule was "don't read at the table." Generally, no TV during meals either. Life is short -- meals with devices seem like a waste of prime time together.

Re: I spent my career in tech, but wasn’t prepared for its effect on my kids

#160

Post by gervase »

nsxwolf wrote: post #50
citizenkeen wrote: post #7

'One of my favorite things you can do is plan a “device-free dinner.”' _A_ device free dinner? Why aren't all of them? These weird little "small gestures" make me feel like people have lost control of their homes. We have a landline expressly to give out to emergency contacts. And dinner is tech free. Every night. I think the main problem is tech has made everything _else_ easier, but parenting harder, and parents ju…

I agree but some of these things sound like moral panics about black rectangles. I don't remember people shaking their heads at parents reading a paperback book at the park, or commuters reading broadsheet newspapers on the train.

The written word is quite a bit older, but there was some concern about reading a while back [0]:

> "[...] [the written word] will create forgetfulness in the learners' souls, because they will not use their memories; they will trust to the external written characters and not remember of themselves." - Socrates

[0] http://www.units.miamioh.edu/technologyandhumanities/plato.h...

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