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Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

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Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#141

Post by bonniemuffin »

audiometry wrote: post #125
bonniemuffin wrote: post #9

About a month before my dissertation defense, I had already accepted a postdoc offer across the country, put in notice on my apartment, signed a new lease and arranged my cross-country move, but I had an absolutely impossible amount of work left on the list of things my dissertation committee claimed I needed to do before I could graduate, and my experiments just weren't working. It was clear that the work was imposs…

How did they justify (to themselves) how their laundry list of must-do's became can-skip's? Did it make a meaningful difference to the conclusions or strength of conclusions in your thesis?

Who cares-- it's not like anybody reads dissertations. :)

My dissertation was composed of several papers which were each published in peer-reviewed journals, so the last unfinished bit just had a lot of "future directions" and became a different grad student's paper (e.g. I passed on the end of the project to someone else to finish and publish), as I recall.

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#142

Post by richev »

dilemma wrote: post #127
emerongi wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can relate. I took a year off university for medical reasons and am not sure whether to return. I felt miserable in uni, but I got a decent job right now and am truly happy for probably the first time in my life. On the other hand I would be putting my future in jeopardy by not getting a degree. I'm not sure wtf to do to be honest. School has not been my thing since like 9th grade, I barely even attended the last g…

School is horrible but make sure to get your degree. It's a requirement for various things, for example moving abroad, and not having it would limit your future in many ways.

I can attest to that - you never know what doors you might want to walk through in the future that require a degree to open (or are a lot easier to open if you have a degree).

Examples...

1) I moved from the UK to Australia last year. Having a degree made it a lot easier for me to get the requisite number of 'points' on their visa system.

2) A friend (from University) who just got a government job in Canada, had to dig out his degree certificate for job application process.

We graduated back in 1996 (21 years ago! gulp).

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#143

Post by dlet »

Xoros wrote: post #140
dlet wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whaou, really interesting. Sounds really like what I experienced. So maybe it was not a burnout. Thanks, you are better than my neurologist :p

That's it. Talk of what happens to you wherever you can. You might be lucky to have someone heard about something similar. Of course it's the Internet and every advice must be taken with a grain of salt. But you never know. A close friend to my sister was getting more and more tired. She had multiples examination but her doctor could not find what she had. First luck she had, her father is a doctor, so she could talk…

Great advice, thanks :)

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#144

Post by yeukhon »

I started working long hours since undergraduate, plus my then-gf lived in SF and I was in NY, so I would work and talk to her until she went to bed (3 hours difference so if 11PM there would be 2AM here). Every other week I would work overnight in my lab. When I was an intern, I would also work on the weekend in the office until midnight. I remember sleeping overnight several times in the old Mozilla MV office. Oh not to mention attending several overnight hackathons (which I hate right now)

I continued this habit working long hours once I started my full time job espeixally because I was depressed after breaking up with my then-gf. I would committ 80-100 hours per week. I am talking about 9-9 or longer and on the weekend 9-5 or whenever I get tired. If major outage, I would be up all night. I would drop my dinner and solve whatever issues came up. I would skip lunch to get my code deployed or whatever. I would have 9-5 meetings and then continued my work afterward. I pretty much did everything I can before my offshore team takes over. I would just write an email and tell them I got most of the problems taken care of, just monitor the issues.

Relationship with coworkers and managment, and with my gf all added up.

This went on for about 6-7 years since college.

I am 26 now.

Then I attempted suicide, twice, this year. The second time, a number of HNer might remember, I posted here my goodbye. I still haven't had the chance to thank the dozens of people who sent me emails.

I am doing much better, although I can never work that many hours now , and I also will never do much coding after work unless I really feel like doing so. If I go back to work, I expect myself work 9-5 and only overtime if I have to.

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#145

Post by wellboy »

fweespeech wrote: post #130
wellboy wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Then don't comment on threads to strangers online if you genuinely don't care.

Normally I'm not attacked for it. And why does indifference mean silence exactly? Do you genuinely care about every word that you speak and every action you take? Seems tiresome.

I do care about what I say and everyone who responds to what I say. That doesn't mean you have to care a huge amount, but everyone deserves some care.

The way you phrased it sounded a bit try hard. "I dgaf, I'm so cool. Look at me."

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#146

Post by zo1 »

antisthenes wrote: post #128
AnonyBrah wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't understand how people manage to be in an office with their boring-ass jobs from 9-5 Monday through Friday till eternity (excluding their measly 2-3 weeks of vacation). I honestly think most people lack consciousness. For one, it's boring, monotonous, and soul-sucking. Which might be manageable, except with commuting and such you're looking at 9 hours/day wasted, and the bulk of your mental energy drained. Add…

> The whole "butt in seat" 10-5pm obsession is stupid and ridiculous. We're not manual laborers - productive mind work doesn't necessarily follow a 10-5pm schedule. If I can get all my work done by 2pm, why can't I just leave? This is the most important point that hits home. I've been constantly looking for a job that recognizes this.

The problem is that the "lazy" workers sour employers on the notion. So unless your team is filled with motivated, grown-up individuals that won't just use the opportunity to slack-off and do the bare-minimum necessary, then it makes no sense for the employer to try anything but the "butt-in-seat" approach.

I manage people a group of about 20, and I'd love to have a hands-off approach. I.e. Letting them be creative and do their own thing at their own pace. But after a week or two of that with me trying to encourage them to experiment, and absolutely nothing happening, it's pretty obvious that they're not inclined. They want to just be butt-in-seat for 9-5, like a factory-worker, then go home. Maybe they're broken already. Or maybe they don't care enough to apply their creativity or motivation during those 9-5 hours to show me that they can do that.

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#147

Post by throwaway378037 »

ZenoArrow wrote: post #101
throwaway378037 wrote: post #69

It's happening right now, for me. Burnout feels like having no purchase on life, nothing making sense, no creativity, no joy, just fleeting comforts amid growing and deepening discomfort. The way I see it, this kind of tiredness can't be met by a good night's sleep. It's a tiredness of the soul. Sadly, what I have found is that to cope with the tiredness, boredom, stress and loneliness of my 'successful' life, I have…

I'm glad you're opening up about what you're going through. It doesn't fix everything overnight, but it is the first major step on the road to recovery. Digital detox definitely sounds like a good idea, especially as it'll help you to break your porn habits. To be honest, the way you describe your burnout seems very close to depression. I'd echo what simbyotic has suggested, in that it's good to reach out for profess…

Thank you for the kind words.

I have been having professional help for a while and it took some time to really open up about the issues, but it's a really positive thing.

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#148

Post by relics443 »

AnonyBrah wrote: post #109
emerongi wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can relate. I took a year off university for medical reasons and am not sure whether to return. I felt miserable in uni, but I got a decent job right now and am truly happy for probably the first time in my life. On the other hand I would be putting my future in jeopardy by not getting a degree. I'm not sure wtf to do to be honest. School has not been my thing since like 9th grade, I barely even attended the last g…

School is terrible, similar to a labor camp. I was lucky to find a subject that was interesting and easy enough to where I could cruise through, yet demands enough respect to get me interviews.

I completely get the gist of what you're saying, but you've mentioned labor camps a few times.

Not sure if you mean for it to be a literal comparison, but I'd find it very difficult to argue that school or work is the equivalent to somewhere where you are forced into doing backbreaking work. That's besides for the physical abuse and risk of murder that often accompanies it.

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#149

Post by ndh2 »

zo1 wrote: post #146
antisthenes wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The whole "butt in seat" 10-5pm obsession is stupid and ridiculous. We're not manual laborers - productive mind work doesn't necessarily follow a 10-5pm schedule. If I can get all my work done by 2pm, why can't I just leave? This is the most important point that hits home. I've been constantly looking for a job that recognizes this.

The problem is that the "lazy" workers sour employers on the notion. So unless your team is filled with motivated, grown-up individuals that won't just use the opportunity to slack-off and do the bare-minimum necessary, then it makes no sense for the employer to try anything but the "butt-in-seat" approach. I manage people a group of about 20, and I'd love to have a hands-off approach. I.e. Letting them be creative a…

I don't know anything about you, so don't take me too seriously.

If you tried to change something, and zero out of twenty people respond well to it at all, have you considered the possibility that it might be you, not them, that should do something differently? A hands-off approach requires a clear mission, motivation, and most of all trust. I don't think "a week or two" of you trying to change something will magically make things different.

To me it sounds like the difference between managing and leading. If you want to be a leader, you might need to invest a bit more time to learn how to do that. Blaming your coworkers for your own shortcomings is the best way never to learn anything. [Again, see disclaimer above.]

Re: Ask HN: What's your spectacular burnout story?

#150

Post by nugga »

eob wrote: post #67
bonniemuffin wrote: post #9

About a month before my dissertation defense, I had already accepted a postdoc offer across the country, put in notice on my apartment, signed a new lease and arranged my cross-country move, but I had an absolutely impossible amount of work left on the list of things my dissertation committee claimed I needed to do before I could graduate, and my experiments just weren't working. It was clear that the work was imposs…

I have long thought the PhD experience is kin to historical tales from Zen monasteries. "Enlightenment" comes not when you pass the master's test, but when you realize you've gotten what you came for and simply tell the master you're leaving. I allocated and enforced a timeline of only 3 months for dissertation writing -- to the frustration of my committee -- precisely because I had a sense this was how the game work…

This hits close to home so I have to chime in: Got burnt out at work, pretty much did nothing for weeks, spent all my vacation days, some sick days, a month on actual sick leave and then finally told boss with 2-3 months left of my contract that I can't do anything on site please let's cancel the contract or I'm taking more sick leave. He gave me remote work instead with less responsibilities. Getting better.
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