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Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

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Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#21

Post by ThrustVectoring »

MikeTheGreat wrote: post #8
ThrustVectoring wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tools for snooping in on your kid's spending is an instant ugh reaction from me.

I used to think so too, then I had kids :) One interesting approach is to use snooping tools but to then explicitly tell the kids and to discuss the results periodically. I.e., "my job as a parent is to help you figure out how to be a grown up. Part of that is managing money. I noticed you spent money on X and wanted to talk about it" I think for the 'cellphone based GPS-tracking' there was also an explicit rule that…

Keeping your kids safe at all costs isn't good parenting. It encourages suffocating closeness and loss of independence. The point isn't to get your child to the age of 22 without getting criticized for it. The point is to provide the necessary conditions for a successful adult to form.

>"my job as a parent is to help you figure out how to be a grown up. Part of that is managing money. I noticed you spent money on X and wanted to talk about it"

This will teach children to spend like someone's watching. It's external motivation, and it's likely counterproductive IMO. Better, in my opinion, is to let them find out the natural consequences of spending money - that is, not having it for other purposes, or needing to do things to get more money.

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#22

Post by Rodyland »

joevandyk wrote: post #14
Rodyland wrote: post #12

In our household, the kids have chores. The kids also have an allowance. The important part for us is that the allowance isn't tied to the performance of the chores - chores are mandatory, part of living in a household. The allowance is tied to doing said chores promptly and completely when asked, without complaint. Complaint or lack of completion of chores results in deductions from the allowance. But importantly, t…

Confused how that's not tying allowance to chores.

It's tied, but indirectly. Completion of chores properly is obviously required for allowance to be received. But it was important to us to not give the impression that this was "pay for work done". Rather, the work has to get done, the payment is for doing it properly and without complaint (ie. to save my and my wife's sanity).

But the important bits are:

1. The job gets done always. There is not an option for the child to say "keep your $2, I'd rather watch TV today."

2. If the job isn't done right, the child has to re-do or otherwise complete the job.

3. Complaints about the job, or failure to do the job promptly (ie. nagging), lead to deductions in allowance, but #1 still applies.

4. The size of the allowance and the size/number of chores are not directly related.

We also give the kids the option to change chores (within reason) - because the allowance isn't tied to specific chores. As they get older, they get more responsibility (more and/or more complex chores) but also more allowance.

Like I said, it seems to work well for us. The chores range from feeding the cats to doing a load of washing to helping cook dinner. They quickly learn that complaining about chores is a no-win situation, and accept that it's simply a part of week to week life.

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#23

Post by CodeWriter23 »

joevandyk wrote: post #14
Rodyland wrote: post #12

In our household, the kids have chores. The kids also have an allowance. The important part for us is that the allowance isn't tied to the performance of the chores - chores are mandatory, part of living in a household. The allowance is tied to doing said chores promptly and completely when asked, without complaint. Complaint or lack of completion of chores results in deductions from the allowance. But importantly, t…

Confused how that's not tying allowance to chores.

In this case, allowance is tied to maintaining a positive and cooperative attitude. They still have to do the chores and will not get paid or get docked if they do the chores with a bad attitude.

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#24

Post by todd8 »

I had a meger allowance of 0.25 USD per week. At the time, in my cohort, it was below average but at least it was something.

What really benefited me was having a before school newspaper delivery job. I felt a responsibility to my employer and the subscribers and would get up early in the dark to walk though the cold Detroit winters to deliver papers every day.

In retrospect, it was just the right level of challenge and reward for me as a kid. I saved enough money to buy some things I wanted as a kid: a new bike, a tennis racket, and a slide rule!

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#25

Post by fuzzygroup »

I'm a parent of two boys (16 and 10) and I'd strongly, strongly advice tying it to chores and then using it to teach that performance matters. Do a good job? You get your allowance. Do a bad job? Sorry; no allowance. Saving is a hard skill to learn as is that performance matters. An allowance is a great way to teach both.

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#26

Post by NTripleOne »

closeparen wrote: post #11
neuromancer2701 wrote: post #2

My son is only 2 so we haven't gotten there yet. But I like the block of tasks that the child has to do with no reward because that is a refection of real life(we all have to take out the trash, mow the lawn, etc). But in addition to that you encourage the child to think outside of those tasks and to proposal tasks for money/reward mini-business plans. Get them to think entrepreneurial. Then hopefully as they grow ol…

The incredible amount of time my family spent maintaining, cleaning, improving, and repairing our suburban house definitely motivated me to choose housing as an adult that wouldn't require so much work.

Out of curiosity, how good are your DIY skills?

Were you involved in said repairs/improvements or just an onlooker?

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#27

Post by LifeQuestioner »

fuzzygroup wrote: post #25

I'm a parent of two boys (16 and 10) and I'd strongly, strongly advice tying it to chores and then using it to teach that performance matters. Do a good job? You get your allowance. Do a bad job? Sorry; no allowance. Saving is a hard skill to learn as is that performance matters. An allowance is a great way to teach both.

then what happens when you're an adult and you don't get paid for chores? :D. Will you do them?

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#28

Post by willmacdonald »

fuzzygroup wrote: post #25

I'm a parent of two boys (16 and 10) and I'd strongly, strongly advice tying it to chores and then using it to teach that performance matters. Do a good job? You get your allowance. Do a bad job? Sorry; no allowance. Saving is a hard skill to learn as is that performance matters. An allowance is a great way to teach both.

I have been told the opposite. Kids should learn to do chores as part of living in a house, not to be paid.

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#29

Post by nxsynonym »

No kids myself but my parents did not give me an allowance.

Instead, they were very transparent about our finances. We were situated in the lower-to-mid working class, we have basics covered and some "fun money" but no vacations, new cars, little eating out, etc.

If there was something my Brother or I needed (things we wanted but were not necessary were usually given as birthday/holiday gifts only), they would walk us through their thought processes on how they decided if they could afford it. They included us in the decision and explained how buying certain things would mean sacrificing others.

We were also given money management tasks that were used for necessities. For example, we would be given $20 each to come up with meals we wanted that week at the grocery store. Same thing with new school clothes, sports gear, etc. They let us be decision makers but didn't hand us money to do with as we pleased.

I also got my first job at 13 (farm labor), and haven't stopped working yet.

I was always a little jealous of the kids who got $5, $10, or $15 per week to do with as they pleased - but I will say I feel like I've had a leg up on budgeting, saving, and general money management than many of my peers.

If I have kids I will probably have some sort of similar system. I don't like the idea of giving away "free" money, and tying it to chores is weird to me because they are something that need to be done and won't ever be "rewarded" again after you're a kid.

Re: Ask HN: Allowance for kids?

#30

Post by sotojuan »

fuzzygroup wrote: post #25

I'm a parent of two boys (16 and 10) and I'd strongly, strongly advice tying it to chores and then using it to teach that performance matters. Do a good job? You get your allowance. Do a bad job? Sorry; no allowance. Saving is a hard skill to learn as is that performance matters. An allowance is a great way to teach both.

Meh, chores should be just part of regular home life. Everyone should clean their dishes or whatever without any financial incentive.
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