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Facebook – You are the Product

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Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#191

Post by Swizec »

Prefinem wrote: post #183
komali2 wrote: post #175

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think this is true. We always have that moment at parties, "Where's Kyle? Oh shit, he deleted his facebook and didn't see the invite, did anybody text him to tell him?!" No, we didn't, because 99% of our friends use the very useful party organizing app with integrated chat and picture sharing, Facebook.

Those aren't your friends buddy. >No, we didn't, because 99% of our friends use the very useful party organizing app with integrated chat and picture sharing, Facebook. My friends will actively invite me (I don't use facebook) to events if they want me there.

> My friends will actively invite me (I don't use facebook) to events if they want me there.

The part where you get left out is when someone from your squad sees a cool event and decides to go. They're going regardless of who else is going, but it would be nice to have some friends there.

So they post in the squad group chat "Hey I'm going to this event, anyone in?" aaaaand that's about it as far as organization goes. If you're in you're in, if you're not, that's fine too.

Not every event warrants personally inviting everyone you'd like to see there. Personally inviting people is for small primarily gatherings, not for more casual larger stuff.

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#192

Post by michaelmrose »

compiler-guy wrote: post #97
Sir_Cmpwn wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not that hard, you've just forgotten how to do these things without Facebook. >I personally hate facebook's mobile apps and some it's policies ( Internet.org comes 1st to my mind), but it's hard to completely stop using it. Try it! Deactivate your account for a week. Do it again later for two weeks. Maybe for a month. When you learn how to live without it, delete it.

This is a painfully simplistic response. No matter what I do, several activities and groups I want to be a part of are only advertised and organized on facebook. It's not within my power to change that. And that, in fact, _does_ makes it hard to avoid using facebook without being left out.

Promote giving up facebook or advertising via alternative means both to whomever organizes it and among your fellow users.

Volunteer to help with those alternative means.

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#193

Post by compiler-guy »

michaelmrose wrote: post #192
compiler-guy wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a painfully simplistic response. No matter what I do, several activities and groups I want to be a part of are only advertised and organized on facebook. It's not within my power to change that. And that, in fact, _does_ makes it hard to avoid using facebook without being left out.

Promote giving up facebook or advertising via alternative means both to whomever organizes it and among your fellow users. Volunteer to help with those alternative means.

Ask everyone to sign up for different methods of communication. Pick a method for managing the lists. Avoid the additional publicity public facebook postings get you when someone likes it.

Those are real tradeoffs that many groups aren't willing to accept, regardless of how willing a single person is to shoulder the burden.

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#194

Post by [deleted] »

michaelmrose wrote: post #192
compiler-guy wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a painfully simplistic response. No matter what I do, several activities and groups I want to be a part of are only advertised and organized on facebook. It's not within my power to change that. And that, in fact, _does_ makes it hard to avoid using facebook without being left out.

Promote giving up facebook or advertising via alternative means both to whomever organizes it and among your fellow users. Volunteer to help with those alternative means.

[deleted]

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#195

Post by Sir_Cmpwn »

compiler-guy wrote: post #190
Sir_Cmpwn wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I feel like if I applied the logic you're using here for that, I could say the same thing about buying food in a store. Well, a grocery store isn't really harmful in the way Facebook is. Grocery stores aren't tracking you in every other store you go to and selling that information to the highest bidder, they aren't tracking when you're asleep and awake and everything you use on your phone and they aren't designed to…

Apparently your social circles don't use facebook as much as other people's do. That's great that you can make it work for you. But don't project your social world onto every one else's. Also, I keep seeing the, "Facebook isn't worth the tradeoff" argument coming up. That may be true, but again, that is a different claim than, "It is easy to live without it." re: Your note below that you are suggesting others give it…

I'm only talking about my experiences and suggesting others give it a try.

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#196

Post by Prefinem »

Swizec wrote: post #191
Prefinem wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Those aren't your friends buddy. >No, we didn't, because 99% of our friends use the very useful party organizing app with integrated chat and picture sharing, Facebook. My friends will actively invite me (I don't use facebook) to events if they want me there.

> My friends will actively invite me (I don't use facebook) to events if they want me there. The part where you get left out is when someone from your squad sees a cool event and decides to go. They're going regardless of who else is going, but it would be nice to have some friends there. So they post in the squad group chat "Hey I'm going to this event, anyone in?" aaaaand that's about it as far as organization goes…

> casual larger stuff

casual isn't friendship. My friends and I, hang out because we enjoy each others company and like to do things together. Not to invite people because we are lonely.

Plus, I don't mind being "left out" or "missing something". As I get older, it's just not worth the hassle

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#197

Post by Prefinem »

compiler-guy wrote: post #189
Prefinem wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Those aren't your friends buddy. >No, we didn't, because 99% of our friends use the very useful party organizing app with integrated chat and picture sharing, Facebook. My friends will actively invite me (I don't use facebook) to events if they want me there.

And here we see the mismatch between the two camps: Sure, [good|strong|old|pick your adjective] friends will contact you regardless of your facebook involvement. But there are plenty of acquaintances, groups, events and whatnot that only get organized or contacted on facebook. And even so, why would you put the extra burden on your friends to contact you in a special way? Why wouldn't you make it easy for them to con…

> And even so, why would you put the extra burden on your friends to contact you in a special way? Why wouldn't you make it easy for them to contact you?

Texting is just as easy as facebook messaging. Or they can use discord, slack, etc etc. facebook isn't the only way to contact someone that is easy.

> But there are plenty of acquaintances, groups, events and whatnot that only get organized or contacted on facebook.

Maybe this is because I grew an introvert, but I can deal with being by myself as well as most of my friends. Going to events, etc isn't a must have. It's something that you can do if you want too. If I want to go hang out, then I will contact people. I will make it easy for them to say yes/no/no response. But I don't have to be apart of every group meeting, or every little discussion.

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#198

Post by Swizec »

Prefinem wrote: post #196
Swizec wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My friends will actively invite me (I don't use facebook) to events if they want me there. The part where you get left out is when someone from your squad sees a cool event and decides to go. They're going regardless of who else is going, but it would be nice to have some friends there. So they post in the squad group chat "Hey I'm going to this event, anyone in?" aaaaand that's about it as far as organization goes…

> casual larger stuff casual isn't friendship. My friends and I, hang out because we enjoy each others company and like to do things together. Not to invite people because we are lonely. Plus, I don't mind being "left out" or "missing something". As I get older, it's just not worth the hassle

> casual isn't friendship

Why not? People are busy. They have jobs and partners and pets and sometimes kids. All of that takes time and attention.

These days I talk less to my closest friends than I did to my farthest acquaintances in high school or even college. It's kinda sad but that's just how it is. And trying to get together face-to-face? LoL, it can take months to align our schedules.

And when it comes to larger stuff. Sometimes you just wanna organize a birthday party or something for everyone, you know? If I want to invite you to a party like that, are we not friends?

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#199

Post by strathmeyer »

parthdesai wrote: post #49
notadoc wrote: post #5

I stopped using Facebook years ago and I could not recommend it more. I found it to be mental pollution at best and and a total waste of time. If you want to 'keep in touch' with people, call or text them. Make an effort to actually interact with the people who matter to you.

So tell me, how do i replace around 5 different group chats i have on messenger which can have anywhere between 5-10 people in each chat? Music events that i go to are exclusively promoted on facebook. How do you recommend i find out about these events so that i can get a cheaper ticket price? if anyone wants to organize a plan that has more than 8 people, facebook groups make it much much easier. I personally hate f…

e mail; these technologies such as WhatsApp are derogatorily referred to as e mail-killers.

Re: Facebook – You are the Product

#200

Post by Prefinem »

Swizec wrote: post #198
Prefinem wrote: post #196

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> casual larger stuff casual isn't friendship. My friends and I, hang out because we enjoy each others company and like to do things together. Not to invite people because we are lonely. Plus, I don't mind being "left out" or "missing something". As I get older, it's just not worth the hassle

> casual isn't friendship Why not? People are busy. They have jobs and partners and pets and sometimes kids. All of that takes time and attention. These days I talk less to my closest friends than I did to my farthest acquaintances in high school or even college. It's kinda sad but that's just how it is. And trying to get together face-to-face? LoL, it can take months to align our schedules. And when it comes to larg…

> If I want to invite you to a party like that, are we not friends

Acquaintances or good acquaintances.

I think this boils down to each person's definition of friends and friendship along with the amount of social interaction each person needs.

I need very little social interaction, so I tend to keep close friends and not much else. I know others who always like to be around someone. They don't care much who it is, and they generally have looser terms for friendship.

Also, face-to-face isn't required. Hop on discord or skype, or just send them a text message. If they are a close friend and you enjoy their company, you should try to keep the lines of communication open.

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