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Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

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Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#101

Post by jacquesm »

mootothemax wrote: post #100
jacquesm wrote: post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

British law != UK current law but those laws that in the distant past were direct descendents of UK law at the time. British law vs say Roman law. Because of the widespread nature of the British empire remnants of these laws (and remnants of the Empire, such as the Queen being formally the supreme being in Canada) are still found all over the world, even if a lot of those laws have been abolished in the UK itself.

Ah ok, I read that as "Those crazy Brits still have this" and waded in to correct ;)

Those crazy Brits abolished it in 1753 according to WP:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage

So maybe they're not that crazy :)

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#102

Post by dagw »

impeachgod wrote: post #97

Can you end a marriage without requiring the services of predatory divorce lawyers? As in, a wife and husband having a "gentleman's agreement" to divide children and property?

Varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but in many places yes (with a caveat). You both show up at the relevant office, fill in some paper work, pay a small filing fee and you're basically done (many places have a separation period between the paperwork being filed and the actual divorce kicking in).

The caveat being that even if you do it this way there is nothing stopping one of the spouses suing the other after the fact for access to the children or more money, so you're not completely off the hook if your spouse later decides to get vindictive.

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#103

Post by joubert »

amh wrote: post #74
elai wrote: post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you live with someone in a committed relationship for more than two years, your automatically entered into a common law marriage, even if you don't realize it. It's hard to avoid it if you want a relationship! How do common-law divorces work?

I don't know about other countries, but most states in the US do not recognize common law marriage.

According to wikipedia, 13 states do. I wonder whether these marriages qualify for federal benefits?

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#104

Post by joubert »

w1ntermute wrote: post #39
lionhearted wrote: post #18

> What caught me by surprise, and forced me to seek emergency loans from friends, were the enormous legal fees I had to pay my ex-wife's divorce lawyers. In a California divorce, the wealthier spouse must pay both sides of the battle even if they are not the aggressor. > The legal and accounting bills for the divorce total four million dollars so far, which is an average of roughly $170,000 per month for the past 24…

This is what you get for voluntarily involving the government in your personal matters. What bugs me most about the entire gay marriage debate is that it implies that the government should have control over the institution of marriage. The solution to the gay marriage debate is not to make it legal for gay people to get married, but to make it so that the government doesn't decide who can get married.

Are you willing to campaign to remove government-sanctioned marriage? Do you think it is a feasible position?

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#105

Post by joubert »

julius_geezer wrote: post #40
barmstrong wrote: post #10

This whole thing is a bit surprisingly to me since it seems like Elon covered his bases with the separate property agreement. Yet it still has been a major hassle for him money wise. Gene Simmons (from the band kiss) has an interesting approach to this which he wrote about in his book. He never married his long time partner and playboy playmate Shannon Tweed. But he took it even a step further having her and other li…

Common-law marriage is recognized in about three states, as I recall.

According to wikipedia, 13.

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#106

Post by joubert »

elai wrote: post #68
MikeCapone wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It can be a risk. But a good partner can also be an asset. In the book The Millionaire Next Door, many of the interviewees credit their spouses (usually a wife) for helping them succeed and keeping expenses low. You still have to pick the right partner, but if you can do that, it could be a big plus. But hey, I'm getting married next month, so take what I say with a grain of salt ;)

Get romantically married, but don't sign a contract with the government! By not singing some paperwork you can both avoid of alot of problems (but not all). Frame it like this: honey, I want to get married with you, not sign a business contract with you. Or I want to get married with you, not with the government too!

No hospital visitation rights, insurance benefits, etc. Just saying.

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#108

Post by wmeredith »

arebop wrote: post #57
w1ntermute wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is what you get for voluntarily involving the government in your personal matters. What bugs me most about the entire gay marriage debate is that it implies that the government should have control over the institution of marriage. The solution to the gay marriage debate is not to make it legal for gay people to get married, but to make it so that the government doesn't decide who can get married.

What politician wants to be "anti-marriage?" So, it's politically infeasible to discontinue marriage (or more specifically the government's involvement in marriage). Reforming marriage laws to apply equally regardless of sexual orientation or to simplify divorce, on the other hand, do seem more like near-term achievable goals.

You're not a marketer are you? It's not an anti-marriage platform, it's anti-government platform.

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#109

Post by jamesseda »

pohl wrote: post #36
lionhearted wrote: post #18

> What caught me by surprise, and forced me to seek emergency loans from friends, were the enormous legal fees I had to pay my ex-wife's divorce lawyers. In a California divorce, the wealthier spouse must pay both sides of the battle even if they are not the aggressor. > The legal and accounting bills for the divorce total four million dollars so far, which is an average of roughly $170,000 per month for the past 24…

What can we do? Abandon the institution of marriage entirely. Nuke it from orbit, as it were. It's the only way to be sure. The legal end of it is a mere wealth-redistribution mechanism. The social end of it is made of community who loves to witness people getting into marriages, but they scatter during the demise. So what function does it perform? From my perspective, it only serves to weaken commitment by trying to…

Marriage is a way to call a guys' bluffs. Plenty of guys will say they are in love and committed forever to keep a relationship going. But the reality is they would move on to a younger girlfriend every 5-10 years if they could. Marriage makes men put their money where their mouth is.

Re: Elon Musk: Correcting the Record About My Divorce

#110

Post by portman »

portman wrote: post #53
lionhearted wrote: post #18

> What caught me by surprise, and forced me to seek emergency loans from friends, were the enormous legal fees I had to pay my ex-wife's divorce lawyers. In a California divorce, the wealthier spouse must pay both sides of the battle even if they are not the aggressor. > The legal and accounting bills for the divorce total four million dollars so far, which is an average of roughly $170,000 per month for the past 24…

There are even worse stories. My parents divorced two years ago. I was paying my mother's attorney bills because she had no money and hadn't had a job in 35 years. After the first bill from my mother's attorney, for $15,000, I asked the firm to cap expenses at $5,000. I explained that I was just a kid and didn't have $15k per month to spend. They agreed, in writing. Then they didn't invoice for 4 months, and at the e…

I know it's considered gauche on HN to say "thank you" for upvotes.

But thank you.

(I'm assuming the upvotes are a way of saying "I'm sorry dude, I feel your pain". If so, they are much appreciated.)

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