Why Parents Hate Parenting

The author even notes with surprise that "housework" ranked above parenting on the list of things that made women happy in a Texan study several years ago. I bet video games are more fun, too.

But nowhere do I see a comparison between how it feels to look back on your life after raising a kid for 18 years, and how it feels to look back on your life after playing Xbox for 18 years.

We're all hedonists; the only difference is who has the patience to do what makes them joyful tomorrow instead of what gives them chuckles today.

That's not love. That's the point Roald Dahl is making (IMHO). The only family in the story that really knows and understands what love is, is Charlies' family. He is the richest boy in the world, because he has a family that truly loves him. Even though they are financially poor.

Love isn't about giving people what they ask for, it's about giving them what is best for them in the long run.

I don't buy my kids toys every time they ask for them. Not because I don't love them, but because I don't want them to take money for granted, and I want them to have a good life balance - because I do love them.

I agree it's not all easy, but I think a lot of it does come naturally if you're in the right mindset to let it come naturally. The most important things IMHO are to be relaxed, confident, and make sure you give the baby as much time as you can etc. babies and kids pick up so much on parents that are uptight. Relaxed parents = relaxed kids.

>> "Should I encourage him to play or forget the game (that I know he enjoys and has been nice to play together). If I get him to play should I let him win?"

I'd encourage him to play again and let him win a couple. If he's a bad winner (Gloating, taunting, saying you're rubbish etc), beat him brutally the next game. I remember my oldest had a year or so when he absolutely hated losing and didn't like playing games with me unless he won. He grew out of it though.

Your kid will almost certainly hit other kids no matter what you do. (At least if your kid is a boy, I'm not so sure about girls.) Of course you should punish it when it happens, but you shouldn't be surprised, and you certainly shouldn't despair that now your kid is going to grow up to be a wife-beater.

Which makes them less likely to respect attempts at discipline in other child care settings, such as detentions at school.

As it turns out, by the time I went to school I was well-behaved enough that I never got detention. I can't give all the credit to corporal punishment for that one... or can I?

And therefore there is no good reason to use corporal punishment.

Out of curiosity, what punishments do you give to your kids? Do you have a "reserve" punishment saved up that you've never had to use? One so powerful that the mere threat is enough to get 'em to behave?

Luckily my wife & I both work from home (so we're both always around to help each other), AND we have some very supportive neighbors & friends here, but it's been quite difficult at times. Here's a huge tip: get a large freezer (the type you put in the basement) and fill it with food like curries (to eat w/ rice) or pasta sauces, soups, etc. -- things that can be easily thawed and made into lunch/dinner with minimal effort & shopping required.

Another tip: prepare yourself to be a parent. Do not assume that it will come naturally, because while some parts do, most really don't, and in the modern world there is a huge array of choices you have to make that require research and thoughtful consideration -- and once the baby arrives you'll find that difficult.

What will actually work with your baby varies on the baby, but you should know a lot about breast-feeding (startling difficult to get started, even with help & preparation), formula (if breast-feeding is impossible -- and it might be for medical reasons -- you should know how formula works), co-sleeping and/or ways to help teach your newborn to sleep alone (not letting them "cry it out", for one), swaddling (amazing but not suited to every baby), ways to carry them & help with gas pains, how to change/clean this tiny fragile thing, etc.. Never mind all of the things you should know about the delivery -- how to avoid getting a default c-section if the labor is slow, etc..

It's worth studying your ass off, really.

Human beings have evolved to have remarkably helpless babies that need educated care because we are capable of teaching each other how to handle that care -- normally, you'd have your entire extended family around you to teach you how to do everything. If you don't -- we didn't -- make damned sure you learn how from other sources (and have help available for when you need it!).

I love having our daughter here. The whole experience blows my mind sometimes, and she's unreasonably cute -- check this out http://robwhelan.com/photos/galleries/12-month_12/img_1153.j... -- but it IS difficult and there's a lot of know-how required particularly if you might not want to just go to the baby store and buy all of the stuff the salesperson says you'll need (hint: your baby will be happier without most of it).