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How to Disagree

paulgraham.com

1–10 of 238 posts

Re: How to Disagree

#2
Indeed, to really address someone's arguments well enough to try to change their opinion takes a lot of time and effort. The question is, what is the benefit to you of doing that? If it is a real live friend that you are going to spend a lot of time with it may be worth the effort as they become perhaps a more enjoyable friend to spend time with (e.g. a friend who keeps telling you what a Great job George Bush is doing may begin to grate on the nerves). However, a stranger on the Internet you only know by a fake name, if you refute their arguments and win them over, it is not clear that you gain much. They go away. So, in casual conversation such as in these responses here or in Reddit, where everything is anonymous and long term relationship is not likely, it is easier and perhaps more satisfying just to call them an ass. Perhaps this would change in a reddit embedded withing a facebook where there is more relationship context for the conversation and where perhaps, there is more to be clearly gained by changing someones mind about something.

Re: How to Disagree

#4
One of the things I really like about YC news is the fact that it's a great place to disagree. I would even say that it is one of the sites defining characteristics. Whenever I hold an unpopular or controversial view here there will of course be replies - but very rarely do I experience namecalling, trollig or other fluff that doesn't add to the conversation. The replies are always tactful, and often very insightful. Sometimes I even have to take my words back, convinced by another user that I was wrong. And we all learn from it.

You don't see that in many forums.

Re: How to Disagree

#5
What do you gain by talking to someone on the internet anyway? Why am I even responding to this essay, or to your comment?

It's probably because it's interesting for me to do so, to see others' views. When I disagree, I tend to enjoy it if people come back and argue. I don't really do it because I care whether the other person comes to see my point of view - although it is more fun when they do, of course. Maybe some people enjoy yelling things such as, "u r a fag!!!!", although personally I can't say I understand those people...

It's useless to try and convince them otherwise for the most part - I don't think they'd listen to you in the first place.

As for the essay itself, I just wish more people would consciously THINK about how they talk to others. It would make the internet and the world a nicer place. (Oh, and that first part, DH0, seemed to me as if it was addressed directly towards Jeff's of Coding Horror response to PG's last essay. But I can't say I disagree - I was actually rather shocked to see such a, umm, 'vehement', response. Another instance of what people probably wouldn't say in person.)

Re: How to Disagree

#6
Mind if I extend your Disagreement Hierarchy?

DH-1. Flamebaiting.

This is when you preempt that with which you would disagree by stating your case in such a way as to elicit quick disagreement (in the form of DH0 to DH6). Usually done by noticing a subset of all data, forming a hypothesis to explain only that subset, and presenting it as a conclusion. Often done without even realizing it.

   The relational database model is dead.

   There is no future in enterprise software.

    is clearly the best.

   No one else is doing , so it must be a deadend.

Re: How to Disagree

#8
post #4

One of the things I really like about YC news is the fact that it's a great place to disagree. I would even say that it is one of the sites defining characteristics. Whenever I hold an unpopular or controversial view here there will of course be replies - but very rarely do I experience namecalling, trollig or other fluff that doesn't add to the conversation. The replies are always tactful, and often very insightful.…

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