51–60 of 123 posts
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"Do I have to feel that I grasp the "Warrior" mentality in order to tell someone they're being rude?" Yes, that's exactly the point made in the article. How did you manage to miss that point, Chad, you fuckin' asshole?
I'm pretty sure its 'Eric'
Seems like most of his advice could be summed up as: "Don't over-complicate the situation". To use his first example, when he's being insulted why spin off into emotional-analysis neverland? What's happening there is you're being abused by an asshole, and you should respond to said abuse and, once that situation is resolved, examine the real issue more thoroughly. I'm speaking as someone who used to think exactly lik…
> In general, no one cares. No one cares if you're partially wrong, no one cares if you're a little off or awkward, no one beyond your family/SO and close friends gives a flying fuck about your emotions. Took me awhile to figure this one out, but once I did, life was significantly better.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
"CS lecturers not allowed to be paid more because positions are harder to fill vs say Fine Art History lecturers" Why does this sound backwards to me? If a position is hard to fill, wouldn't you want to pay the person more so that they don't leave? Conversely, if a position is easy to fill, wouldn't the university pay less, since if the person leaves they'll be easy to replace? How does paying someone less because th…
Because another game is being played in parallel to the direct one you're thinking about. In the parallel game, if you let people who expect good salaries go, you do go through more immediate replacement costs, but are likely to eventually come across people who aren't so demanding of their salaries and get an accumulation of those, then the employer can win out in the longer term. I don't know if this strategy even…
If you sucked you will suck forever to the people who knew it. Know thyself and move on.
The engineers were INCREDIBLE ASSHOLES.
Really cold and dickish, to me that is.
But to each other! JEEZ. Cliquish, abusive and just fucking mean. Total lord of the flies shit. Really toxic.
I had a serious talk with a couple of the more abused ones. Told them, "no, it isn't you, it's them. You need to quit."
I've seen some places that were a bit... diseased... but wow. Is this normal?
An alternative approach I use to combat alpha-holes, and general abuse/anger is to not answer the question 100%, or answer with a lot of ambiguity. The goal is to raise more questions than you answer (don't answer them, just throw a curve ball). Couple it with some down-talking and you're good to go. This throws the attacker into a bit of mental confusion and their anger subsides instantly as they're trying to proces…
Ahole: Your code broke while demoing it. You're a shit dev and you should feel shit.
Example You: Damn right, absolute shit. At least I do a pre-demo check before trying to show my shit to people.
You ask a girl out she says no, you have to just move on to the next one. You have to tell yourself she does not know you yet properly and it is her loss. Our brain is very good at forgetting failures over time. You do it sufficient number of times and you learn to take No like a champ. Spending too much time thinking about that one failure will only result in waste of time. Of course it goes without saying that you need to see how to improve things over time.
I was lucky to learn this lesson quickly. Every year I remind my boss that the salary needs to be either adjusted for inflation (and real estate inflation) or I should be put a performance improvement plan because if my performance is down you should not keep me employed.
I was did a contract at a local engineering shop a year ago. Tech writing. The engineers were INCREDIBLE ASSHOLES. Really cold and dickish, to me that is. But to each other! JEEZ. Cliquish, abusive and just fucking mean. Total lord of the flies shit. Really toxic. I had a serious talk with a couple of the more abused ones. Told them, "no, it isn't you, it's them. You need to quit." I've seen some places that were a b…
That said, there's more to what was presumably male socialising, than what's on the face. There's a distinct difference in ribbing each other and poking fun versus being verbally hostile.