Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
1–10 of 123 posts
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#2I don't understand why is he letting the other people to define that there should be a conflict? For instance, in salary negotiations - I don't get why so many people (in IT) are opposed to idea of open salaries or at least a professional organization.
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#3Is "stun-locked" from a video game I don't play or TV show I don't watch?
A lot of the psychologizing and self-diagnosis in this post could be cut out if the author realized he was simply being verbally abused by an asshole. Which he was. No need for the "red" and "green" stuff. "Why" rarely matters, and even less often is something you can do anything about, while choosing your response is. Sometimes that response should be "you're a fuckin' asshole, Chad," which doesn't rely on knowing why they're being an asshole. Do I have to feel that I grasp the "Warrior" mentality in order to tell someone they're being rude?
There's a lot of metaphor and cruft in this story as it trundles on, and oftentimes naming things is used to not deal with them. Is anybody disrupting copy-editing as a service for bloggers?
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#4I don't understand why is he letting the other people to define that there should be a conflict? For instance, in salary negotiations - I don't get why so many people (in IT) are opposed to idea of open salaries or at least a professional organization.
The people usually opposed are the ones who wish to maintain some sort of control.
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#5Is "stun-locked" from a video game I don't play or TV show I don't watch? A lot of the psychologizing and self-diagnosis in this post could be cut out if the author realized he was simply being verbally abused by an asshole. Which he was. No need for the "red" and "green" stuff. "Why" rarely matters, and even less often is something you can do anything about, while choosing your response is. Sometimes that response s…
"Do I have to feel that I grasp the "Warrior" mentality in order to tell someone they're being rude?"
Yes, that's exactly the point made in the article. How did you manage to miss that point, Chad, you fuckin' asshole?
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#6Is "stun-locked" from a video game I don't play or TV show I don't watch? A lot of the psychologizing and self-diagnosis in this post could be cut out if the author realized he was simply being verbally abused by an asshole. Which he was. No need for the "red" and "green" stuff. "Why" rarely matters, and even less often is something you can do anything about, while choosing your response is. Sometimes that response s…
"stun-locked" is video game terminology, at least as far as my understanding of it goes.
Essentially some act "stuns" you, in this case a direct challenge or statement made by the guy verbally assaulting him sends him reeling. Each statement is made successively so he was stunned by each statement... hence "stun-locked" as in he was stunned, then stunned again, then again, and had no time to collect himself or respond.
In video games "stun-locking" usually means to render another player out of control of their character temporarily, but when the effects are chained the other player can do basically nothing until the perpetrator has run out of ways to keep the "stun-lock" going.
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#7I don't understand why is he letting the other people to define that there should be a conflict? For instance, in salary negotiations - I don't get why so many people (in IT) are opposed to idea of open salaries or at least a professional organization.
That's Magi thinking, not warrior thinking.
If you are applying for a job at a company, there is no chance you are going to change their entire compensation strategy as a precondition to getting the job. So it's either engage Warrior mode and negotiate, or move on and interview somewhere else.
If you found a company, or in a position in your current company that upper management will listen to you, that's a better opportunity to switch to Magi mode and discuss how to change the entire compensation policy to something better for everyone involved.
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#8I don't understand why is he letting the other people to define that there should be a conflict? For instance, in salary negotiations - I don't get why so many people (in IT) are opposed to idea of open salaries or at least a professional organization.
Open salaries will bring down the salary of anyone willing to negotiate.
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#9Many of this reminds me of lack of self confidence. Being affected by other people's emotions when they are directed at you is also due to the (too) high importance you grant to their opinion of what you'll do or say or respond.
Re: Introverts, Emotional Processing, Self-Esteem and Salary Negotiations
#10Is "stun-locked" from a video game I don't play or TV show I don't watch? A lot of the psychologizing and self-diagnosis in this post could be cut out if the author realized he was simply being verbally abused by an asshole. Which he was. No need for the "red" and "green" stuff. "Why" rarely matters, and even less often is something you can do anything about, while choosing your response is. Sometimes that response s…
I didn't know it was from pop culture, but I knew immediately what it meant poetically. It's the "freeze" in "fight, flight or freeze".
People have a prerogative to speak freely in the language that makes sense to them, and you are totally capable of making the effort to figure out what they mean when they say stuff in their chosen tongue.