I do contract devops for both physical servers (that includes me occasionally travelling to a data center), managed servers in a full service colo, and AWS, and the overall cost per server consistently ends up higher including all devops time for the AWS instance in my experience.
I love it when customers pick AWS (though I usually advice not to, unless they have very specific needs), as my billable hours are way higher for those clients, though it is annoying having to deal with the inevitable "why is my AWS bill so big?" after I'd told them exactly why it'd be expensive in the first place. This is particularly true with bandwidth heavy setups, where AWS charges tens of times more per TB transferred than e.g. Hetzner.
Often I even end up getting paid to help them get off AWS again down the line when they realise how expensive it is.
Overall the idea that managed servers and even bare metal colocated servers take up so much more operations time is just not what I experience. Even if it did, if you're even moderate successful it'd need to save you a crazy amount of operational time per server to make up for the price differences in the hosting.
Further my experience is that you don't need to over-provision much exactly because setting up hybrid setups where you spin up AWS instances (or any other cloud) to handle spikes works well. The trick is to treat managed servers exactly as cloud instances, apart from at most the initial hardware provisioning (though many hosting companies provides APIs for this so you can abstract away that too), so that it doesn't matter where you provision.
As for services like RDS etc., they're a very mixed bag. When they work for you, great, though they're expensive, but very often I end up with clients having to move off them because they need some plugin or other that isn't available. Very few of my clients in the end stay on them for very long. Their biggest benefit is to defer the initial setup of a self-managed cluster.
That doesn't mean there are no cases where AWS is the right choice - for starters having it there for traffic spikes is great (though we usually end up needing it very rarely), and if you need large batch jobs or other environments you spin up/down frequently, it may be cost effective. But it's extremely rare I see cases where it's cost effective for base load.
The typical argument then is that big companies wouldn't have picked them if it wasn't. But big companies don't pay the prices mere mortals pay. I know concrete examples of large negotiated discounts for a couple of larger companies, and they are steep.
> and I'd have to spend more money and time on auditors
That might be true, but most companies are not in a position where they need their IT infrastructure audited. This might very well be a niche that makes it worth using AWS.
> And I've haven't even started to think about securing the resulting systems to the same level I get for minimal effort from a major public cloud.
My experience is that getting security right on the public clouds is harder than bare metal. If you take the effort to do it properly, the end results can be good. But a lot of that is simplified a lot in a colo'ed environment by simply physically separating resources into different network segments and the like.
For people with very complex requirements, you might even get better results, but I could never agree with "minimal effort" - it's very common to see people badly misconfiguring their IAM setup for example, because it was too hard for them to figure out how to open up just the specific things they needed to open.