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My loss

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Re: My loss

#2
The HN take-away:

Behind what looks like a success could actually be a failure. (And probably vice-versa.)

Re: My loss

#4
Wow. That reminds me of last year.

My ex made up phony charges to the police so she could keep more of my money (which the crown had to drop).

After work found out they threatened to fire me to negotiate themselves a better position.

Lost most of what I had to lawyers fees, lost the rest of it to the market.

What I did in response:

Lost 60 pounds

Met a great, funny, vibrant, intelligent, much thinner and younger woman

Told them I quit and ended up negotiating a better position

Blew what little I had left on a trip to Burning Man, met some great friends and gained a lot of perspective.

Grew my side biz into the point where it might survive the next 6 month, and lined up financing.

The future:

Quit my job last month

Taking the side biz full time

Life is indeed better on the other side. The funny thing about life is that to have the freedom to do anything you need to first lose everything. Courts, jails, and lawyers may be able to take your money, but they can't take your friends. Likewise they can confine your body, but they can't confine your mind. Going through all that gave me incredible perspective. I've always been a very caring and charitable person and it paid off in spades going through that whole ordeal. I never realized what an incredible social network I had developed through my character until I had to call on it. I left the ex with literally the shirt on my back and within a week had a fully furnished, albiet modestly, apartment and more importantly friends to fill it with cheer and laughter (to be honest a few tears as well, but mostly laughter and cheer).

Re: My loss

#5
Side note - anybody thinking about getting married should look into the financial implications of getting divorced. It shouldn't stop you, but you should at least understand you're putting at least half of everything you own on the table and potentially more. I think you don't completely understand marriage unless you've been divorced.

It may just be confirmation bias but I've been thinking about heading off in a much less conventional direction myself so articles like this are welcome.

Re: My loss

#7
post #2

The HN take-away: Behind what looks like a success could actually be a failure. (And probably vice-versa.)

Absolutely true, especially the vice-versa part. Everyone's definition of success is different. Others may think you are a failure based on this post, while thinking you were a success based on almost every other post. Their perception of your success or failure should not change whether you feel successful or not. The only thing that matters is whether you yourself feel successful or not. If not (having read your blog for a while), I'm certain you're on the way to change things around.

And yes, big changes are awesome. Took me almost a year to change my work/school situation but now I'm finally happy about how things are going to be.

Re: My loss

#9
post #4

Wow. That reminds me of last year. My ex made up phony charges to the police so she could keep more of my money (which the crown had to drop). After work found out they threatened to fire me to negotiate themselves a better position. Lost most of what I had to lawyers fees, lost the rest of it to the market. What I did in response: Lost 60 pounds Met a great, funny, vibrant, intelligent, much thinner and younger woma…

do you regret the trip to Burning Man? I've made a few trips to Kaua'i I couldn't necessarily "afford" and haven't regretted it.. which is why I ask. Thank You.

edit: seems like you liked it :) Good on you bud.

Re: My loss

#10
post #5

Side note - anybody thinking about getting married should look into the financial implications of getting divorced. It shouldn't stop you, but you should at least understand you're putting at least half of everything you own on the table and potentially more. I think you don't completely understand marriage unless you've been divorced. It may just be confirmation bias but I've been thinking about heading off in a muc…

Or make sure you understand the intricacies of asset protection and hide as much of your wealth away, out of reach of your ex-spouses lawyers.
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