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Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

nytimes.com

211–220 of 387 posts

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#211
post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right, and this is more of an evolution of generation. This is a social norm amongst millennials.

Not in my neck of the woods. If you sent a Venmo request amongst us you would be invariably called an asshole (and it wouldn't be a kind way of saying it, that sort of thing is real shitty). We use Venmo to push money around (Square Cash is nicer, but that ship has sailed), but it's more like "ehh, $25 is about right and I'll get it next time so the rounding will work in my favor". We are not doing down-to-the-penny…

I live in a transplant city dominated by young professionals. Multiple roommates (paying for utilities, grocery shopping together, house-shopping), many nights out a week with friends, etc. all yield to a multitude of spotting cash/credit for everyone.

The only assholes are the ones who freeload often. venmo keeps everyone in check.

What is your neck of the woods, partner?

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#212
post #77

Young millennial male, every single person I know uses Venmo. IMO this article largely misses the point of the app. It's replaced cash/checks is all, it's not some huge social upheaval in the way we use money that needs to be analyzed. In my experience it's rarely used for splitting bills for dinner or picking up bar tabs (I can't remember the last time I went somewhere that wasn't able to split the bill on their end…

Also a millennial male, same exact thing.

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#213
post #78

I'm reading this as someone being upset that they were asked to pay for what they ordered, with the excuse that the app somehow makes the world less "chivalrous." I say whatever. I'm not friends with people because I trade off doing nice gestures. Some people account for their money and would greatly prefer to balance the books. Fine. Is it really a big deal to pay what you owe? It's not like they asked you more effo…

Exactly - and the idea this somehow stops that small favour stuff is rubbish. You can use an app like this and still buy your friend a drink - it's just it's a choice you are actively making, not one being imposed on you to save time or effort.

It also means that I can order something expensive without feeling bad that I'm imposing on everyone else when we split the bill evenly. This is particularly relevant when you have friends with different incomes or lifestyles.

I'm pretty sure there is a Friends episode about this. Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I53n7ldcSGo

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#214
post #79
post #77

Young millennial male, every single person I know uses Venmo. IMO this article largely misses the point of the app. It's replaced cash/checks is all, it's not some huge social upheaval in the way we use money that needs to be analyzed. In my experience it's rarely used for splitting bills for dinner or picking up bar tabs (I can't remember the last time I went somewhere that wasn't able to split the bill on their end…

For our generation, this pettiness goes the other way, too. I will literally try to buy lunch/coffee/dinner for someone, and after I've gone home, they've sent an unsolicited 'repayment' to me by Venmo. And on the other hand, it's difficult to "split your case of beer" with someone -- people are afraid to partake because they're worried you'll bill them afterwards, and they can't afford the $3 in this month's budget.

IMO, politeness should also take account norms that make the other party feel the most comfortable (within reason of course).

It took me a long time to learn that when your friend's dad tells you 'Please just call me John', continuing to address him as 'Mr. Smith' is less polite, not more. Same thing with money.

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've never heard of it except as an obscure Paypal competitor. And, it turns out it's essentially the same service as Paypal and is even owned by Paypal, since 2014. I agree that services like this only serve to fill gaps in antiquated banking systems. From what I understand, in Australia, for instance, people can send money easily for free between bank accounts and do so routinely without 3rd party services - includ…

I remember checks from the 80s, my mum/dad used to have them. I never owned a check book.

Good for you? Maybe try one sometime: as it turns out, old things are not de facto bad.

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#216
post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Young millennial male, every single person I know uses Venmo. Young millennial male, I'd never heard of this thing until now. These things tend to be emblematic of poor local banking infrastructure. This reminds me a lot of echocash[1]. [1] https://www.econet.co.zw/ecocash/

Distinctly non-millennial, creaky, grumpy middle aged fart here: venmo (and Google wallet) are great. Paying the babysitter? 10 seconds to find out their venmo username. Check that the picture looks right, send. Much easier than the alternative US bank-based solutions such as popmoney. Much less hassle than keeping cash around.

It's really mostly a US problem, because of how hard wire transfers are to do here, compared to most other countries. All these services are basically wire transfers done right.

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#217
post #22

I have never disagreed with something so much. While I'm financially not doing so bad, I grew up poor. When I was college age going out with friends was complicated- if we all handled our own bills it was one thing, but when I'm not drinking and only eating cheap food to save money splitting the check would literally mean I'm subsidizing other people friends and could be the difference between being able to afford to…

This (widely disparate eating patterns between friends) used to be a problem, but then we hit on a solution: at the end, when the bill comes, each person adds up what they ate/drank, and adds 30% to that (which covers the tax + tip). Some items can be ordered "for all", and the persons who did that take ownership of those too. It's worked beautifully so far.

Why not just say "separate bills" at the beginning, so that you get them itemized individually?

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#218

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In what way? Is small, easy P2P payments a solved problem in Europe?

Canada has Interac e-transfers, which you send to an email or phone number and the user redeems them with their bank. It's a little more friction than tapping a button (you have to set up a pass code for redemption) but it's included with most chequing accounts.

Most banks charge a $1 fee though.

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#219
This seems to be a generational and geographical gap. Speaking parochially, among relatively well-off 40-ish Australians acting like this would mark you as some kind of cheapskate space alien.

I remember being similarly surprised at the 'down to the last penny' bill-splitting when I first got to the US, but, as a lot of people remark on in other threads, many of the social gatherings weren't really very long term (e.g. a random collection of Bell Labs interns).

I'm sure that there are good reasons people act this way, but the impression that I have to fight down when someone acts like this that you're either cheap, broke or paranoid about being taken advantage of. I think there are occasions where everyone needs to get a little more fine-grained (especially not doing the thing where non-drinkers subsidize drinkers) but the amount of time some people fritter away on these calculations makes me wonder what their time is worth...

Re: Thanks to Venmo, We Now All Know How Cheap Our Friends Are

#220

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 19 and most people I know use Venmo. I'm curious - around what age are your friends? My parents don't know what Venmo is, and I don't think many of their friends (most in the age range of 40-60) do either.

> I'm 19 and most people I know use Venmo. I'm curious - around what age are your friends? My parents don't know what Venmo is, and I don't think many of their friends (most in the age range of 40-60) do either. Made in 1987 here. I have Paypal as well but I prefer Google Wallet. Google Wallet is directly connected to my bank account. I don't trust Paypal to connect it to my bank account. Why would you trust Venmo wi…

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