Processing Emotions
willmeekphd.com
Processing Emotions
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Re: Processing Emotions
#2Hug of Death, there's a cache of it:
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:RSEiWt4...
Re: Processing Emotions
#3This is a good article. I would just add that attending to an emotion and explaining to someone what you are feeling and why often results in a spontaneous process that produces positive changes such as lessening of intensity and change in perspective. This is much of how psychotherapy works, or for that matter just talking things over with a friend.
A good book on attending to feelings is Focusing, by Eugene Gendlin.
Re: Processing Emotions
#4This is a good article. I would just add that attending to an emotion and explaining to someone what you are feeling and why often results in a spontaneous process that produces positive changes such as lessening of intensity and change in perspective. This is much of how psychotherapy works, or for that matter just talking things over with a friend. A good book on attending to feelings is Focusing, by Eugene Gendlin…
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Re: Processing Emotions
#5That's a good article - a nice overview. I have a conference talk I give on the same topic called Your Emotional API: https://johnksawers.wistia.com/medias/wnlr918xe7
Re: Processing Emotions
#6This is a good article. I would just add that attending to an emotion and explaining to someone what you are feeling and why often results in a spontaneous process that produces positive changes such as lessening of intensity and change in perspective. This is much of how psychotherapy works, or for that matter just talking things over with a friend. A good book on attending to feelings is Focusing, by Eugene Gendlin…
Agreed, in that regard I didn't find that example in the article very good:
> For example, if you were trying to impress a new date who wanted to go to the zoo, you might have to find a way to play it cool in front of the gorilla enclosure by using a discrete breathing technique.
Instead you could simply say that you actually have an irrational fear of gorillas. Worst case the date is actual a huge gorillas nerd and that would be a deal breaker, best case the date helps you change perspective and at the end of the date, you're not afraid of gorillas.
Re: Processing Emotions
#7I'm not a fan of this discipline of managing and processing emotions as if they were opinions or the consequence of our thoughts.
Emotions are facts. This must be the premise. If you've felt them, they've happened already. The question is not "what are you feeling?" but rather, "what are you going to do about what you've felt?"
So as long as you're not confusing what you can change, you're good. You can prepare yourself and educate yourself for when you could feel something next time. But this is also already highly automated. Emotions tend to educate themselves. So I find a lot of this is just trusting yourself, and not overreaching into thinking you can change your past or twist the facts.
If you're sad you're sad. If you're happy you're happy.
It's not so much managing your emotions. It's more about managing the moment, and what you wish to do with yourself. It's about managing the things that make you feel things.
If you hate your job, quit your job. Don't manage the hate.
If you love someone, go for it. Don't manage your love.
And so on.
Re: Processing Emotions
#8I'm not a fan of this discipline of managing and processing emotions as if they were opinions or the consequence of our thoughts. Emotions are facts. This must be the premise. If you've felt them, they've happened already. The question is not "what are you feeling?" but rather, "what are you going to do about what you've felt?" So as long as you're not confusing what you can change, you're good. You can prepare yours…
I think this is a short sighted way to view ourselves. More often than not, our emotions are caused by externalities, or even our own internals, as scientists have recently discovered how our gut microbes might directly influence our feelings and behavior.
People are complicated. If you have an emotion, it's important to know that it doesn't have to represent who you are, and that you can do something about it. Processing emotions is a legitimate thing to do. EMDR therapy is a great example of processing emotions for traumatic experiences.
Re: Processing Emotions
#9I'm not a fan of this discipline of managing and processing emotions as if they were opinions or the consequence of our thoughts. Emotions are facts. This must be the premise. If you've felt them, they've happened already. The question is not "what are you feeling?" but rather, "what are you going to do about what you've felt?" So as long as you're not confusing what you can change, you're good. You can prepare yours…
I think this is a short sighted way to view ourselves. More often than not, our emotions are caused by externalities, or even our own internals , as scientists have recently discovered how our gut microbes might directly influence our feelings and behavior. People are complicated. If you have an emotion, it's important to know that it doesn't have to represent who you are, and that you can do something about it. Proc…
> it's important to know that it doesn't have to represent who you are
Maybe it's easy to confuse what I said with this, but I never said this. Equating your emotions with who you are is an act that you've done. It's a result of an action. But they already are two separate ideas with separate words. There is you, and there are your emotions. I am not able to equate them. There is me when I'm sad, me when I'm happy, me when I'm busy... I can become sad or busy if I know what triggers those states. But this must all be based on facts.
Same with your gut microbes example. Yes, emotions are caused by externalities, and that is precisely why they are facts. But thinking they are internal will have you fighting gut microbes with your mind. This is the dead end you want to avoid. You cannot accurately process the outcome of your gut microbes other than by accurately dealing with your gut microbes. Everything else is a workaround. They may still work in the end, but the most effective treatment will always be physically and accurately dealing with the physical cause of whatever effects we are looking to change.
"Processing emotions" is no different than dealing with facts. EMDR therapy is also a physical therapy. It treats emotions as facts, and deals with trauma factually. Whether it works is also a fact.
I mean, "be factual" is just another way of saying "stay scientific". There is nothing shortsighted about insisting on remaining scientific.
So what are you disagreeing with again?
Re: Processing Emotions
#10This is a good article. I would just add that attending to an emotion and explaining to someone what you are feeling and why often results in a spontaneous process that produces positive changes such as lessening of intensity and change in perspective. This is much of how psychotherapy works, or for that matter just talking things over with a friend. A good book on attending to feelings is Focusing, by Eugene Gendlin…
Agreed, in that regard I didn't find that example in the article very good: > For example, if you were trying to impress a new date who wanted to go to the zoo, you might have to find a way to play it cool in front of the gorilla enclosure by using a discrete breathing technique. Instead you could simply say that you actually have an irrational fear of gorillas. Worst case the date is actual a huge gorillas nerd and…
Yes. Honesty is more endearing than trying to pretend, and it's easier too.