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How to make a friend fast

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Re: How to make a friend fast

#11

Post by jaggederest »

pepve wrote: post #7
threepipeproblm wrote: post #2

Hmm, I guess 'extrovert' is an acceptable spelling nowadays, even though it's the wrong Latin root.

Both "extrovert" and "extravert" are correct. Contemporary language use does not always care about latin, however sorry I am for that. But the author of this post goes even further, and uses both spellings in the same sentence! In extravert-introvert pairs, extroverts report on greater closeness than introverts That can't be right...

I believe in this case spelling is mimicking pronunciation.

In my accent, at least, I pronounce the phrase 'extr_vert-introvert' with an open A, contrasting to the pursed O of introvert.

But if I say the word 'extr_verts', by itself, I pronounce it with an O, identical to 'introvert'.

It's difficult because for me, at least, in my accent, both are degrading to an unstressed vowel anyway, so it's a fine gradation.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#12

Post by pasbesoin »

Here's the paper cited in the lower left corner of the graphic (and in the text above, I now see):

https://psychodramaaustralia.edu.au/sites/default/files/fall...

which only caught my eye because of the "A. Aron" author. I'm almost certain this is the husband of Elaine Aron, who launched the identification, qualifier, and description of the "Highly Sensitive Person" (HSP).

http://hsperson.com/

Arthur's paper is dated 1997, while Elaine's first book on the HSP type was published in 1996. Which I find to be an interesting correlation in time.

More recently, Elaine has (in my limited knowledge) been focusing on the concept of "ranking and [or, versus] linking".

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/attending-the-undervalu...

The OP topic here reminds me somewhat of her perspective on linking.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#13

Post by roceasta »

mettamage wrote: post #10
enraged_camel wrote: post #8

After a two year period of watching my boss interact with people, I can confirm that this method works extremely well. He is a "natural", in the sense that he can form close bonds with people incredibly quickly. At first I thought he was using some sort of secret strategy, but after a while I noticed that he was simply sharing personal details about himself (which the article refers to as "self-disclosure") without b…

After having read about self-disclosure I started doing this and never looked back. Also I forgot that I had it from reading a psychology experiment. I've learned that it mostly works. In some cases though people see you as someone who doesn't always say something relevant. What also works (more specifically) is: you share a certain secret about you, and if that person has a similar secret you get to hear it as well.…

Don't want to question the value of your experience but I couldn't help noticing that your example and enraged_camel's examples all take place in the context of (mild) danger and risk. Employer-employee; employee-client; travel abroad.

Could it be that shared adversity is the key to bonding? Personal revealings would then follow gradually as a natural consequence. In this view the best way to make friends would be to go to high-school together, get stuck in an airport for 2 days, watch a horror movie, share a rock-climbing accident, etc. Mostly circumstances one doesn't have much control over, admittedly!

Re: How to make a friend fast

#14

Post by camillomiller »

enraged_camel wrote: post #8

After a two year period of watching my boss interact with people, I can confirm that this method works extremely well. He is a "natural", in the sense that he can form close bonds with people incredibly quickly. At first I thought he was using some sort of secret strategy, but after a while I noticed that he was simply sharing personal details about himself (which the article refers to as "self-disclosure") without b…

Good luck doing that in Germany without being seeing as a weird egomaniac

Re: How to make a friend fast

#16

Post by 35bge57dtjku »

pepve wrote: post #7
threepipeproblm wrote: post #2

Hmm, I guess 'extrovert' is an acceptable spelling nowadays, even though it's the wrong Latin root.

Both "extrovert" and "extravert" are correct. Contemporary language use does not always care about latin, however sorry I am for that. But the author of this post goes even further, and uses both spellings in the same sentence! In extravert-introvert pairs, extroverts report on greater closeness than introverts That can't be right...

Is intravert correct? I have to know if it's that symmetrical.

Re: How to make a friend fast

#20

Post by supercoder »

roceasta wrote: post #13
mettamage wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

After having read about self-disclosure I started doing this and never looked back. Also I forgot that I had it from reading a psychology experiment. I've learned that it mostly works. In some cases though people see you as someone who doesn't always say something relevant. What also works (more specifically) is: you share a certain secret about you, and if that person has a similar secret you get to hear it as well.…

Don't want to question the value of your experience but I couldn't help noticing that your example and enraged_camel's examples all take place in the context of (mild) danger and risk. Employer-employee; employee-client; travel abroad. Could it be that shared adversity is the key to bonding? Personal revealings would then follow gradually as a natural consequence. In this view the best way to make friends would be to…

Yeah some of my best friends are the ones who I've focred to go with me to an airport for 2 days. Not sure if they can say the same though
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