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Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

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Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#22
post #2

In all seriousness, take a break. It doesn't have to be for a long time, just enough to refresh your mental outlook. Travel a bit, even just to visit a friend in a fun city or somewhere to enjoy the outdoors. Get away from your computer. Be patient. Allow yourself to be human.

If you're the sort that gets into backpacking, that's what I always tend to use as a mental reset. It's a mix of getting to be challenged by a new set of problems and putting yourself in a social situation where you can reinvent yourself. Leave the laptop at home. :-)

I ran into Adam last year in a $3-a-night hostel in Egypt. He's got some decent tips for nerds wanting to get out for a bit:

http://geekeasy.com/travel/articles.html

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#24
Take a break.

Then, whenever you're ready, come back here and talk about it. That's what we're here for. Even though you're only 2 hours old here, you're already a veteran. Share your lessons with us and take what you need. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised how you'll feel then.

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As Pmarca wrote: attempting to improve your batting average of hits versus misses is a waste of time as you progress through a creative career. Instead you should just focus on more at-bats -- more output. Link here: http://blog.pmarca.com/2007/08/age-and-the-ent.html The ratio of success to failure in tech startups ranges from 1:3 to 1:10 depending on who you read. That means pace yourself, you might have to do this…

The best way I ever heard it phrased was, "Not everyone gets a home run, but sooner or later you're bound to get hit by a ball and walked."

I wrote about my own experience in recovering from a failed startup. It is sort of like forcing yourself to get up after falling off a bike. It just needs to get done. Hope it helps.

http://www.lovemytool.com/blog/2007/10/riding-a-bike.html

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#26
post #6

Congrats--you got one under your belt. Take a break. Then analyze it, learn from it, and iterate. Figure out why it failed, and avoid that trap the next time. Deliberate Practice makes perfect: http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2006/...

As ericb says, congratulations! I would have to seond ericb. First, relax, take some time off. Make a trip, call some of those friends you might have ignored while working on the startup, read a good book.

I have said this before, and I will say it again, in conjunction with some of the other people's advice of some exercise, try some meditation. It helps you relax, and at the same time, allows your mind to both calm down and reflect at the same time. You will feel more confident and composed, and if you keep the practice up it will help you in your next endeavor.

The link above is a good read. Doing something (Deliberately) without measurement essentially means that you are doing it in vain. It has been a philosophy of mine that if you watch (measure or log) something, it will grow in the direction you want it to. Look back at your time with your startup and try and assess where you could have done more, or less (invariably you spend time doing things that you are not good at, which means you spend an exponential amount of time and effort trying to accomplish it). Take notes, makes index cards, whatever works for you. Don't try and do it all at once, rather let it marinate for some time in your head, constantly jotting down anything that comes to mind. Talk to people who were involved or were somehow affected by your startup work. Ask them for advice, sometimes people notice a whole lot more than they give you credit for. For example, I tend to be very agitated and quickly irritated when I am trying to put the finishing touches on anything. The very last details (like lining up elements in the UI to the last pixel) tend to get me antsy. I think they are important, thats why I do it, but on the flip side, I tend to be very good starter and executor, but a poorer finisher. Ironically it was a project mate who mentioned it to me for me to realize it. There are several books on the topic, like "Now Discover your Strengths" that can also give you some insight.

Again, Congratulations! I wish you well.

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#27
You are in mourning. Emotionally it is similar to experiencing a death or divorce. Give yourself a little time to mourn in whatever way is good for you: have a good cry, get really drunk, beat the shit out of a wall, whatever. Failure sucks, now get over it. Your company's failure was not your failure. Learn from it, you are not invincible, now move on.

To use the old cliche: what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#28
Play. This may sound like completely ludicrous, but it is what helped me. I loved the startup I was with. Amazing people, neat technology and an overall spectacular environment. The only defect was that the customers weren't there. So I left and right afterwards, I felt horrible. Eventually, I found myself also in a cloudy dysfunctional haze. So I decided to 'play.' For me that meant going back to school to learn random things that interested me (from linguistics, to art, music, architecture, Greek mythology, puzzles, maps, ornithology, hang gliding, etc.). While things didn't get better right away, they did improve significantly over time.

Take heart; this too shall pass.

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#29
I failed at two startups before my current one, which is close to launch. After each failure I took a break, feeling weak and like failure just like you are. But time heals all wounds. Before too much time had passed (a couple years) the excitement (and finances) had returned, and I jumped back in the game. I feel much, much stronger for the experience of those 2 failed startups. I don't regret them one bit. Sooner or later you'll probably feel grateful and happy for the experience you had, failure or no. Why not start now?

Re: Ask YC: Dealing with post startup depression

#30
I have been there, and you will only get better from here on. Let go of the emotions. Put the thoughts on hold.

Stay away from your machine. Go somewhere for a couple of weeks. Exercise. Eat well. Sleep well. Drink a bit of wine even. Have sex. Be human.

No guilt.

No regrets.

You'll be fine.

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