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I'm not a Woman in Tech

communequation.wordpress.com

351–360 of 621 posts

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#351
My sister was a software engineer. She wasn't ever a part of those women-only developer groups. She just really liked programming. It wasn't a political statement, and I don't think I've ever heard her talk about 'sexism in the workplace' that everyone else seems to love to talk about.

She left her engineering job to raise her children. My mother was completely against this move though because my mother (also originally a software engineer) thought it was bad form that an educated female engineer would leave the workforce and 'waste her life as a stay at home mom' (paraphrased), and that my sister needed to set a good example as a professional woman or something.

I kind of think it's all silly that my mother would push for this, but I do understand it, because when my mother was a software engineer things were pretty bad. However, I think these days it's pushing the point too far.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#352
YES. I’m a software engineer. I’m a woman. I’m not a “female-software-engineer”. I don’t need people in HR randomly telling me that they support me (umm, thanks?). I hate that the typical first question after I tell someone what I do is usually about sexism, not about what I’m working on. I’m not a victim.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#353

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you express your opinion on a private forum instead of a public one, you're much less likely to be crucified for it. I can make nasty off-handed comments to my friends in private chat all day, with very little fear that it'll see the light. Ultimately sheer quantity of people is the bigger problem than anything else.

> I can make nasty off-handed comments to my friends in private chat all day, with very little fear that it'll see the light. And then, someone decides to take a screenshot, out of context, and post it somewhere for the whole world to see.

It's possible, but it's far, far less likely than a post on social media with your name tied to it - it's also completely deniable and contains only usernames.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#354
post #14

There's sexism in tech, and to address it you have to call it for what it is. I'm glad her experiences are such that she hasn't encountered these barriers, but other people have, and they need these words and spaces. Take my previous job. Women were objectified on Slack. A woman was groped, though she didn't report it out of concern for the repercussions. In meetings execs, male execs would only address/look at the m…

You're not addressing the article at hand. The article is not claiming that sexism doesn't exist.

> I've never seen men, as a group, encounter the obstacles I've seen many female peers discuss

Though since we're on the topic - I can't speak for your specific anecdotes, but I'll say this: men may not face obstacles to the same extent of women, but they definitely face their own obstacles, and sexism against men even in this industry is a thing.

Affirmative action and hiring quotas are reverse discrimination. Being a women in this field gives you a leg up in terms of university admission to competitive CS programs and employment at competitive firms. Recruiters are often female and discriminate in favor of women. (I've experienced this numerous times firsthand). For your friends who were actually sexually harassed, the mere accusation alone is often enough to get co-workers fired and have their reputations ruined (see Adria Richards dongle joke).

So yes, females unfortunately face a huge set of obstacles, but they also face a huge set of advantages that shouldn't be overlooked. This victim mentality needs to stop at some point.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#355
> So you just don't like to hear opposing views?

Personally abrasive escalation takes threads into flamewar, so please edit such things out of your comments here. As a bonus, the signal/noise ratio of your comments will get higher.

Edit: fixed now, so I've detached this from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14703776 and marked it off-topic.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#356

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're missing the point of the article. It's not that these things don't exist, or didn't exist for her -- of course they do. The point seems, to me at least, to be that in order to attempt to actually solve these problems you can't actively (or passively) try to exclude yourself from the people causing them. It's like politics -- if you separate yourself into "us" versus "them", how are you ever supposed to…

> It's like politics -- if you separate yourself into "us" versus "them", how are you ever supposed to work together to find a solution? It's not like that at all. Ideologies exist on a spectrum. And there are some on the extreme ends that are so reprehensible that there's no good reason to find a way to include them in any reasonable dialog. I don't care how hurt someone feels if they can't find a safe space to talk…

> I want it to be normal as hell to be a woman/person of colour/queer/etc-in-tech (and the rest of the world).

it seems like diversity and inclusion are at odds. id like to feel okay with my unfasionable identity, too. highlighting how different i am from others helps to discourage inclusion by them-ing my peers.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#357
post #321

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Different and opposing groups work together to find a common solution all the time. You can be different and work in a group and it not be antagonistic. This "us v. them" mentality is fostered by people who don't want to contribute with people who are different, they want everyone to assimilate into "their way." Take the "black lives matter" movement. If we followed the OPs advice, they should just protest that "all…

This is something my friends and I were talking about privately for a while now. One of the things that came out of it was something summed up by one of my friends -- stop founding movements, start founding communities. Modernism (and I'm talking as far back as the early 1900s, and arguably, even earlier than that) has eroded our sense community. Our communication tech has, over the past few centuries, have allowed p…

I get none of those reactions. BLM are simply asking for equal treatment, not special treatment. Considering the "all lives matter" movement, if you can call it that, is more of a spiteful and petty response to BLM, I'm not sure it's a great example. A movement does not need to devolve into "us v. them" and cause those kind of responses you list. The only reason BLM would be offensive and cause those reactions is if this statement is offensive to your being -- black people having equal rights as white people.

The "black lives matter" movement is a great example of a movement being required because they have been shut out of a "community" that already exists. That community being their actual community they live in. The community is the problem. All those things you have listed -- fear, disgust, resentment, contempt, despair -- are things black people have experienced against them at the hands of our government/police and that is why BLM exists, and that is why a movement is needed to change the community. Just like the civil rights movement, which is not over.

I agree many movements do not have clear goals, but that often speaks to their poor leadership (e.g. occupy wall street), not a problem of movements in general or their grievances. Look at the civil rights movement. I think movements often arrive because the community has failed them.

I would be interesting in hearing more practical examples of how a community would better solve some of these problems (or historical 20th century problems) over a movement, or what that distinction truly is or means. Definitely curious!

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#358

Completely agree with what Maria said. I also cringe at the "WomanInTech" tag. I would like to be noticed for my engineering skills rather than because I happen to be female. I definitely want to see more women in technology. There are social pressures because of which girls move away from STEM. We need to encourage more 11-12-year-old girls to try out science. Both men and women in tech can help make that happen. Ho…

What's your opinion on artificially inflating the perception of women in science in order to attract more women to science? It's not a loaded question, I'm genuinely curious for opinions.

For example if say NASA is 30% women but more women are presented on the NASA online stories, articles, blogs and scientist profiles, along with a dedicated domain women.nasa.gov, and other tactics. (Naturally there's no men.nasa.gov)... all to reinforce the message that "look, women can do this too" (to use the OP's quote).

Are we moving into the zone that the OP was concerned about? Over-inflated labels and reactionary agendas that? Or is that fine, do we use whatever tools and tactics available to bring more women to science, even if it means promoting an unrealistic or inaccurate impression bordering on disingenuous?

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#359
post #346

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> How can you state so firmly (in opposition to many here) that "you're practically guaranteeing permanent under-correction" Because "no more than" usually means "less than" in a vast range of contexts, with computer programs being a rare exception. This is particularly evident in matters of justice. "Innocent until proven guilty" and "beyond reasonable doubt" and all of the restrictions on evidence practically guara…

I think there is no argument that the ragged edge will bump around the ideal line - and that in a reasonable expectation of how society works. The question is more of policy and strategy in how to arrive there. And in that it is unclear that a "fast-and-overshoot" is any 'better' than "slow and steady" vs any other strategy. You have not shown that any one strategy is more wrong, nor more right. Nor is there any coll…

You're totally twisting and appropriating what I say. For example...

> it is unclear that a "fast-and-overshoot" is any 'better' than "slow and steady" vs any other strategy

Nowhere did I say it was unqualifiedly better. I was refuting your absolutist position that "never overshoot" should be a requirement.

> essentially saying, 'get with the program' is unhelpful

Never said that either. The point I was trying to make is that the OP's own "program" is not globally applicable or sufficient, therefore that she (and you) should consider other strategies as well.

> pay the [moral] price of intentionally discriminating against someone

Again, never said. Confronting one's own privilege does not inevitably lead to discriminating against others. All I'm suggesting is that we consider programs and policies that have some risk of creating outcomes that are inequitable in some way other than the inequity we already have. It should be obvious - and I think was to most people - that I'm not saying we should deliberately create inequity in any direction, or fail to address it when it occurs. I'm just saying that "never risk harming this group" is too limiting of the things we might try, and noxiously so when "this group" is the one already enjoying substantial unearned advantages.

Re: I'm not a Woman in Tech

#360
post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eh, this is just the standard argument against "identity politics". The obvious counterpoint is that, by working together as an identified sub-group, you have greater power than you would otherwise. Dedicated venues for those sub-groups offer a place to organize, provide communal support, etc. Frankly, I think it's sadly naive to believe that we can simply "Lose all the labels" and that'll magically fix things. "Iden…

I remember quite some time ago, before Social networks. Before blogs. Before all of what we think of the WWW. We were still in Web 1.0 , with email, usenet, IRC, and other then-essential services. Dial-up was the way online. And when people talked with each other, we were told to not release who we are. Be guarded in your real-identity. And that lead to user1 talks with user2. I didn't know if user2 was white, black,…

This really is a problem that cannot be fixed by pretending that it doesn't exist. Are you going to ignore the fact that by "forcing" identities, we are unable to behave in a way that makes identity irrelevant? The only way we can currently achieve the utopia in which gender, race, sexuality, class, attractiveness, etc don't matter is when we purposefully construct an environment where it all magically disappears. While it's great that internet communities give us the promise of a fully integrated society, these communities are built on a fragile and naive premise. That is, when people on IRC begin to link their Facebook profiles, nobody is going to be able to control the way that people begin to react to the ideas coming from the identities of the people on the other side of the screen. Social networks aren't the problem, they simply reveal the insidious nature of the problem.
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