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Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

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Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

#3
Thanks for sharing this. Reading Dave's post the first time, all I could think was "this seems like the most bland, cop-out, vague apology I've ever seen." He didn't list the specifics of what he felt bad about, and the whole thing read like a PR release to get ahead of any potential fallout.

Reading the "kudos" from men who thought he was a great guy for coming forward only after years of harassment came to a head was unpleasant.

Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

#5
post #4

It is unfortunate that these kind of things happen. They shed a bad light on our industry as a whole due to (hopefully a few) rotten apples. Thanks for writing this, takes courage!

Let's stop perpetuating this myth that this is a "few rotten apples".

This is a systemic problem in our industry, and we need to all realize this, so that we can start teaching each other what behavior is and is not appropriate in a very clear, concise, and precise manner.

Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

#6
post #4

It is unfortunate that these kind of things happen. They shed a bad light on our industry as a whole due to (hopefully a few) rotten apples. Thanks for writing this, takes courage!

> a few) rotten apples.

Wow, that's really incredible optimism. I'd be more than happy if there was a 50/50 split between the kinds of apples but I fear that it is more along the lines of 20/80 or worse based on what I see and hear around me when no women are within earshot.

Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

#7
>Non-consensual, sexual advances are not the same as flirtatious comments from a creepy dude

It is refreshing to see this much needed distinction; I think many people in modern society have been conflating flirtation with harassment for the past few years.

Still, not to speak against the author or victimized women, but I cannot understand why sexual harassment takes such a toll on women. I've been sexually harassed by other men before, and somehow it wasn't as big of a problem as it seems to be to outspoken individuals online. I've been beaten by strangers before, and even that was something I got over much more quickly than the years of scarring that women like the author seem to experience from unwanted physical advances. I cannot understand how being propositioned and kissed against one's will is such a terrible fate to suffer.

I suspect that much of the recent backlash against harassment is mostly a result of conditioning, wherein women learn from society to feel more violated and take these advances more personally than they should.

After all, I'd take an uncomfortable kiss over a beating any day, and being put into the hospital by a couple of violent strangers did not leave me, or other men that I know, with a lifetime of discomfort.

I do not intend to be offensive, I simply cannot resolve the discrepancy in my mind. Is this a difference in male and female mindset?

Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

#9
"It’s not just inappropriate, it’s assault."

I'm going to have to stop reading there.

Now, of course, I don't know what happened, I wasn't there. What I'm seeing in front of me are glowing pixels that don't constitute a conviction.

In my opinion if you believe you've been the subject of assault you ought to approach the police, or probably a lawyer.

Re: Shedding Light on the “Black Box of Inappropriateness”

#10
post #5
post #4

It is unfortunate that these kind of things happen. They shed a bad light on our industry as a whole due to (hopefully a few) rotten apples. Thanks for writing this, takes courage!

Let's stop perpetuating this myth that this is a "few rotten apples". This is a systemic problem in our industry, and we need to all realize this, so that we can start teaching each other what behavior is and is not appropriate in a very clear, concise, and precise manner.

Specifically - the issue wouldn't exist if the parts of society these people exist in didn't implicitly enable this sort of behaviour.
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