I'm not sure if creep is the best word to use here. Creep is a gendered term like slut or bitch.
Dear lord.
I'm a creep. I'm sorry
411–420 of 453 posts
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#412Is asking a woman if you can buy her coffee sometime sexual harrasment if you do it at the workplace?
It could be, it could not be. Context is important.
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#413Earlier quoted context omitted.
Power inbalance man, that's the point.
There's always power imbalances though. Social, knowledge, financial... can you only hit on people whose looks are on par with your own, and who have the same amount of money you do, and same education, same experience, knowledge, social network... blah blah. Always going to be a power imbalance of some sort between people.
I think you are conflating power with advantages. I have advantages over many people, but I have little to no power to punish them.
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#414Earlier quoted context omitted.
Given the economic opportunities at stake, it's probably most equitable for the high-tech workplace to be stiff and formal, so that everyone involved feels equally dislocated from their comfort zone. If you're used to the workplace mimicking the conventions of subcultures you belong to, the transition will be a drag, but , if you're alienated from the dominant workplace subculture, probably a breath of fresh air.
> stiff and formal Maybe people should wear suits and ties then. You know, to make it abundantly clear that the workplace is a stiff and formal environment. Corporate leadership is responsible for setting tone in the workplace, and the ethos that has been paraded in Silicon Valley since its birth is that everyone is a friendly collaborator, that ideas and people flow freely from company to company, as if in a casual…
> Maybe people should wear suits and ties then. You know, to make it abundantly clear that the workplace is a stiff and formal environment.
Suits and ties are a step in the right direction, but I think what many of us would really like to see are non-gendered company uniforms along with well defined personal style guidelines (hair, makeup, et al)
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#415Earlier quoted context omitted.
Inviting a coworker to church is a problem? Can someone elaborate please?
It's rude to assume someone else wants to go to your church, is into your sect of your religion, is into your religion or is religious at all. It's dangerous when you combine that with power structures from a work or other environment.
Isn't it also rude to assume they don't want to go?
If only there were a way you didn't have to assume, but could find out...
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#416Earlier quoted context omitted.
Apologies like McClure are insincere because his behavior has likely been going on for years; targeting many many women (at least 6 according to his accuser); and because McClure knew then, as he does now, that he was in the wrong. Why do you think he is apologizing? Do you really think he is sorry or just sorry he got caught? I'm sure he is sincere, sincere that he feels bad that he got caught and is now suffering t…
How do you get away with asserting that he has likely done this "many many" times? I do agree that an apology under these circumstances is not ideal, but what should he do, exactly? Dig a hole and jump in? Not respond at all? Just say it is true and leave it at that? Any response is going to be subject to dissatisfaction from some part of the mob that we are all part of. I think the key is to realize that at some poi…
> How do you get away with asserting that he has likely done this "many many" times?
Sarah posted on twitter that other women have reached out to her claiming similar behavior.
https://twitter.com/sarahkunst/status/881004317674577920
> I think the key is to realize that at some point in your life, you were the devil, whether your transgressions were subject to public scrutiny or not. Have some sympathy for the devil and do not be the one who casts a stone.
In regards to his apology, I thought the qualifiers were offensive and it made me think he was being insincere. I see your point about the pitchforks and mob mentality and I see how my original comment can contribute to that.
That said, I also fee that as a society we have to emphatically reject this type of behavior, especially perpetuated by people with power/influence/resources against those without. We jail people in this country for far less.
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#417Is it just me, or is committing public seppuku like this really necessary? If what he did was illegal, he should face prosecution. If he's compelled to apologize and admit his guilt, he should reach out to the people he actually wronged. This kind of public self-flagellation ("I'm such a creep. Please forgive me, world.") feels really over the top, phony, and symbolic.
There's what's legally required, and there's what's morally required. Here's a guy who did some serious soul-searching and said "holy shit, maybe I'm wrong on a very bad way". It's about doing more than what he is bare minimum allowed to get away with. He's taking personal responsibility for his actions, openly and publicly. That takes a level of maturity and openness that I know is hard, and I fully respect. All tha…
I think it was a great PR move. I don't know the depth of the situation but if he simply said "idk if I should hire you or hit on you", then I think most people are going to read the apology coming away with the belief he is a victim losing his company for a trifle. I did at least. If this was the extent, and he didn't touch her or send lewd photos, frankly I'm angry for him. A society that requires this level of mea culpa for telling a mutual acquintance that was potentially interested in a job over drinks that you were interested in seeing them socially is fucking baffling.
Conversely, (again based on my less than complete knowledge of situation) it seems equally rediculous to say that she made unwanted advances to 500 Startups. They were in a social setting and it isn't clear they were hiring for something she qualified for. Should she apologize for leveraging her relationship with his acquintance to use a social situation professionally? Of course not! Dave did a borderline unethical thing in that scenario and based on the NYT article which is scant with details, I'd at most email her an apology for misreading the situation and being unprofessional
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#418Earlier quoted context omitted.
It's rude to assume someone else wants to go to your church, is into your sect of your religion, is into your religion or is religious at all. It's dangerous when you combine that with power structures from a work or other environment.
Isn't it also rude to assume they don't want to go? If only there were a way you didn't have to assume, but could find out...
This may be a cultural thing, but inviting someone to go to church would be at least astonishing in France (and the rest of Europe). This is just not the place you go for a date.
There could be some circumstances where this is possible ("hey, my church has its annual fiesta, plenty of people dressed up in a traditional way - you know, the famous one! Wanna come see that?", or a marriage/baptem/other family / friends gathering) but this is not the first place which come to mind when thinking about dates.
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#419I'm not going to congratulate this guy or call him brave or anything, and I'm just going to mention that I consider this proof that speaking up against unfair treatment (in this case, harassment) can have an impact. The only thing I'm going to commend about this post is that it's nice that he's trying not to bring the company (and thus, his colleagues) down with him.
Presumably a large amount of his net worth is tied up in this company. So of course he doesn't want to take it down.
Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry
#420Earlier quoted context omitted.
Isn't it also rude to assume they don't want to go? If only there were a way you didn't have to assume, but could find out...
This may be a cultural thing, but inviting someone to go to church would be at least astonishing in France (and the rest of Europe). This is just not the place you go for a date. There could be some circumstances where this is possible ("hey, my church has its annual fiesta, plenty of people dressed up in a traditional way - you know, the famous one! Wanna come see that?", or a marriage/baptem/other family / friends…
I agree.