From a male point of view, the risk/benefit ratio of being alone with a woman in a professional setting is quite high. Not surprisingly, people will act to mitigate their risks.
Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
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Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#12One thing I've noticed about American culture, versus the other countries I've been/worked in, is that it's highly litigious. I suspect that one of the reasons people feel uncomfortable is the threat of lawsuit (or being buried in a corporate landslide triggered by policies designed to avoid lawsuit). This in addition to the finger-pointing at older Evangelical attitudes in the article...
Yes, highly litigious. And in the midst of a profound transformation in gender relations. Over perhaps the last century. Things are just chaotic. So the safest policy is avoiding potentially dangerous and/or compromising situations.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#13Why is this article flagged? I think it's pretty relevant given all the recent coverage sexual harassment in the tech industry is getting.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#14Ironically, this article has just been flagged.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#15One thing I've noticed about American culture, versus the other countries I've been/worked in, is that it's highly litigious. I suspect that one of the reasons people feel uncomfortable is the threat of lawsuit (or being buried in a corporate landslide triggered by policies designed to avoid lawsuit). This in addition to the finger-pointing at older Evangelical attitudes in the article...
Yes, highly litigious. And in the midst of a profound transformation in gender relations. Over perhaps the last century. Things are just chaotic. So the safest policy is avoiding potentially dangerous and/or compromising situations.
Unfortunately, potentially compromising situations are the best way to get things done. If you want to avoid other people, you're going to be spending a lot of time at home by yourself, so to speak.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#16I suspect a big reason for this is (and I've seen studied of this specific to ballroom dance, but it seems, in my experience, likely true more generally) is that men are vastly more likely to seek (either initially or as the interaction progresses) sexual or romantic outcomes from such interactions regardless of the overt purpose and to perceive sexual/romantic interest on the part of the other party than women are to have or perceive such interest, which produced all kinds of bad outcomes from the interactions, with men perceiving that women lead them on and women perceiving that men make passes out of the blue.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#17I find this to be both very true, and very unfortunate. It took me years (and being fired from a "zero tolerance" job) to figure out how to put women at ease around me. Most of it involves "avoid being alone with or physically close to them", and "censor yourself heavily". It strikes me as a really unfortunate way to go through public life, but since I'm a physically large guy with stunted skills for recognizing subt…
It's just as bad in politics. I lie to all women I meet in professional settings: I drop a line about my "fiancé" whom I'm very much in love with. It's sad and crazy how quickly that puts most women at ease.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#18One thing I've noticed about American culture, versus the other countries I've been/worked in, is that it's highly litigious. I suspect that one of the reasons people feel uncomfortable is the threat of lawsuit (or being buried in a corporate landslide triggered by policies designed to avoid lawsuit). This in addition to the finger-pointing at older Evangelical attitudes in the article...
I think Americans in general suffer from widespread righteous indignation. How dare you park in my space. How dare you disagree with me. How dare you say an inappropriate comment. Agreed that we are a very litigious society, but it's that righteous indignation that fuels it.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#19Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes, highly litigious. And in the midst of a profound transformation in gender relations. Over perhaps the last century. Things are just chaotic. So the safest policy is avoiding potentially dangerous and/or compromising situations.
Unfortunately, potentially compromising situations are the best way to get things done. If you want to avoid other people, you're going to be spending a lot of time at home by yourself, so to speak.
The majority of survey respondents seemingly disagree. Also, you argue a false dichotomy.
Re: Americans Are Wary of Being Alone with the Opposite Sex
#20As a married man, I'm wary of going to lunch alone with someone of the opposite sex - for most of the reasons in the article. Not because I would say or do anything inappropriate but for two reasons - the appearance of impropriety and it's way too easy to get caught up in emotional affairs and to take your eye of the ball in your own relationship. If for no other reason is that it's easy to get caught up in how great your coworker is - you work with them everyday, you by definition have a lot in common, and your work relationship is "easy". You don't have to worry about all of the compromises and stresses that are involved in maintaining a household and you only see each other's best self.
On the other hand, if I did have both male and female reports, I would treat them all equally - no solo lunch meetings, no late nights alone, etc.
When I was single, and most of my coworkers were single it was a lot different.