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I'm a creep. I'm sorry

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Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#251

Post by [deleted] »

adriand wrote: post #41
daenz wrote: post #24

Is it just me, or is committing public seppuku like this really necessary? If what he did was illegal, he should face prosecution. If he's compelled to apologize and admit his guilt, he should reach out to the people he actually wronged. This kind of public self-flagellation ("I'm such a creep. Please forgive me, world.") feels really over the top, phony, and symbolic.

Totally agree. There's something very weird about this post. If I were truly faced with the sudden realization that I was a deeply shitty person, I can't imagine writing a post like this. I'd be off the grid entirely, probably drinking in a ditch some place. I know I can't speak for others and everyone is different, but the human element is missing here somehow. It does feel very PR.

[deleted]

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#252

Post by macspoofing »

bluetwo wrote: post #84

As someone once said, "You can offer an excuse or you can offer an apology, but you can't offer both." I'm not sure which this is. It sounds to me like both.

That's probably correct. His 'apology' included a contradiction of certain statements made in the NY Times story by the woman he harassed, specifically that her rejection of him was the reason she was not being hired by his company. I think he wanted that on the record.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#254

Post by throwawaycuz »

The amount Sacca's been virtue signaling about gender equality, racism, how much he loves his wife -- for the last 3 years -- I knew something was up. When he started posting that he had moved to Montana, I got the feeling he was in hiding.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#255

Post by hn_throwaway_99 »

jrs95 wrote: post #161
hendzen wrote: post #142

Caveat, McClure's behavior was bad. But seeing recent public floggings for misbehavior I now wonder if people are feeling a bit hypersensitive/cautious about any workplace conduct that could potentially be perceived as harassment. Case in point. You work at a technology company. You are attracted to another coworker, who is NOT your subordinate. Is there some manner in which it is acceptable to express your interest?…

I can't really think of any good ways to do it. The good news is that on a software engineer's salary if you're going to do a lot of drinking alone you can at least buy the good stuff.

How about "Would you be interested in going on a date some time?" And if the answer is "No thanks" the response to that can be "OK, I understand."

Have we all become so engrossed with our smartphones 24/7 we've forgotten how to be face-to-face direct with other actual humans?

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#256

Post by escapetech »

alexandercrohde wrote: post #194

A lot of people here seem to not understand the power imbalance point, so I'd like to explain it. Imagine you're in these positions: --Being arrested, and an officer makes a romantic advance --On trial, and the judge makes a romantic advance --In therapy, and the therapist makes a romantic advance --At the doctor, and the doctor makes a romantic advance --At the bank, and the banker makes a romantic advance --In a re…

It's not necessarily about power imbalances - subordinates might express interest in a superior, or a colleague might interest in another colleague, and both situations can be just as problematic as a superior expressing interest in a subordinate.

The problem is simply one person deciding to single out another person for any deviation of expected treatment especially when it has no relation to the social context or work performance/duties.

Hitting on a coworker is potentially as problematic as inviting a coworker to church. Being extra friendly to a coworker or customer of a different gender is just as problematic as being nasty and disrespectful to a coworker or client of a different ethnicity. Every scenario mentioned is grounds for making the person or possibly even those next to the person uncomfortable, leading to harassment claims. Furthermore, the idea of only behaving a certain way if the other party consents is a lack of principle. It potentially jeopardizes the protections a workplace is supposed to provide to all workers and customers. Just because a door is left open does not mean one should enter.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#257

Post by nv-vn »

spamizbad wrote: post #189
mrmondo wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

'Asking out co-workers is a huge no-no' - to me this feels almost anti-humanist to the point where business is truly more important than our own lives, our being, our existence and our own free will. There is a massive difference between asking out co-workers and sexual harassment.

As a humanist, I disagree. This is my reasoning: Unless the feelings are mutual, asking someone out at work can have negative consequences for the person you're asking, even if your intentions were good. You can't control their feelings, but you can control your actions. Also, believe it or not, your romantic options far outstrip your employment options. Asking people out at work just seems easier but it's quite comp…

>Unless the feelings are mutual

That's the whole point of asking someone out -- to find out whether the feelings are mutual.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#258

Post by julianmarq »

> It's a qualified apology. I dislike how he not-so-subtly tries to justify his actions by painting a context that delegitimizes Sarah's claims.

What claims were "deligitimized" and how did he do it?

As for everything else you wrote I'll just say it must be awful living with such a misanthropic view but, hey, you do you.

Re: I'm a creep. I'm sorry

#259

Post by coss »

Reading these comments makes me really depressed for the future of our society. Let me get this straight -

1. Don't go out with co-workers. 2. Don't make friends with co-workers. 3. Def. never drink with co-workers.

Have we really become this sensitive? There's a voice in me that's screaming 'fuck off' to this kind of attitude. I can't quite articulate why it infuriates me so much.

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