If you want to be taken seriously and you value your career more than attracting men, cut your hair short, no makeup, and wear a suit. if you come to my meeting dolled up, you either aren't serious or you're using it as an advantage. I don't hit on women I do business with. But I take them much more seriously when they come to me on the merits of their business. Only. This is business deal. Not a mixer. Like I said,…
... says the guy hiding behind an anonymous, throwaway account. If you really feel this way, please put your real name on it.
Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
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Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#412This entire article is a smorgasbord of cringe: > During the recruiting process, Mr. McClure, a founder of 500 Startups and an investor, sent her a Facebook message that read in part, “I was getting confused figuring out whether to hire you or hit on you.” One would think having the phrases "hire you" and "hit on you" in the same sentence when communicating with someone undergoing recruitment at your company would be…
What if the choice were "no investment or attention" versus "creepy attention and small investment"? Entrepreneurs are so willing to sacrifice, and this should not be the situation, but what if it is? How many of us males would accept these types of advances in order to get our idea funded? To think that we can remove power from sex is misguided. There were times during my startup that I would have wished for the att…
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#413how much money for each boob? he's a billionaire, his wife doesn't even care because she knows he has a prenup. you know there is no blowjob waiting for you at the end of this thread right?
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#414how much money for each boob? he's a billionaire, his wife doesn't even care because she knows he has a prenup. you know there is no blowjob waiting for you at the end of this thread right?
Commenting like this will eventually get your main account banned as well, so please don't.
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#415Earlier quoted context omitted.
But it's off topic. You're trying to make the conversation be about something else—I assume in a completely well-intentioned way, but this isn't the place for it.
I accept that it's off-topic and I don't dispute your decision to detach the thread. And I do appreciate the effort you put into moderating HN. But that entry linked by cbhl doesn't help his argument. I still think BPD is a valid concern, though. I'd really like to sincerely ask if you've had a run-in with it yet.
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#416Earlier quoted context omitted.
If the women isn't interested, you stop. Seems like many men have a problem with rejection and accepting no, that's usually when it becomes creepy. Had Gates asked his now SO out and she said no and then he politely went on his way like a respectful human being I really doubt anyone would cry sexual harassment.
> Seems like many men have a problem with rejection and accepting no Women don't have the burden of having to initiate relationships and chase after potential partners
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#417Earlier quoted context omitted.
Whoosh.
Please explain what I missed or misunderstood. I'm not trying to be contentious here.
> You are saying there is a chance a bad actor might abuse a social dynamic in which you are the less powerful participant?
When the commenter said that, they were humorously turning the hypothetical BPD scenario on its head. The commenter was making a comparison to the original sexual harassment topic, where a bad actor (VC executive) abused a social dynamic (sexually harassing women founders) in which the aggrieved were the less powerful participant (needing to raise money to fund their businesses).
The comment points out the parallels between your fear of men being taken advantage of by BPD-afflicted women, and the far more likely event of a male superior abusing power over a female subordinate.
On another note, it seems like you have a strong personal experience with a woman diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I think that this traumatic experience has made you more sensitive to the risks of this happening to others. I understand how you must feel. I don't think the risk is as high or is as catastrophic in a business situation, if a company adheres to the law and conducts thorough investigations of personnel accusations.
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#418Earlier quoted context omitted.
My point holds as long as false accusations are possible. Women, like men, are not all angels. Sexism, or even patriarchy, has no gender.
False accusations are basically not possible though. The people getting in trouble right now are not the borderline cases of someone saying an awkward comment here or there. The people getting in trouble are the serial harassers who are so egregiously bad that a multitude of incidents are documented. Your big standard subtle sexist or tech douche bro has nothing to worry about.
Donglegate was less than five years ago, did you already forget about it?
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#419Earlier quoted context omitted.
Any VC whose reaction to this is "oh I guess I should avoid taking meetings with women because I just can't know what goof will cause me to get sued" is probably already making some women uncomfortable. If you cannot understand how _stupidly easy_ it is to have a completely non-sexual, non-harassing conversation with a member of the opposite sex, you most definitely should read up on some stuff. I mean this in the mo…
Sales at my company is female dominated, I'm in building next door so I run into them all the time, I just treat them as any other member of staff, politely but otherwise as an amorphous blob. I don't socialise with work mates outside of work events either, lines get crossed when you do in a alcohol orientated culture like mine. It's worked fine for me for 19 years employed. Had one female former colleague assume I w…
Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment
#420Earlier quoted context omitted.
> This is people being assholes because they know they can get away with it. Nope. These people are being assholes because they ARE assholes. Never attribute to rational decision making what can be attributed to rotten character.
>Nope. These people are being assholes because they ARE assholes. To be fair, even an asshole may show some restraint when they have a clear understanding of consequences. Thinking their money buys them immunity from consequence is an enabler as they don't believe they have the slightest need for this kind of rational self-interest. You are both right, an asshole is an asshole as you suggest, but even so, assholes ar…