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Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

nytimes.com

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Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#381

Post by hn_throwaway_99 »

tuna-piano wrote: post #129

Wow, this seems terrible. For these women (and from the sounds of it, many more) to always have to second guess if an investor likes them for good business reasons or whether it's just because they're pretty. To always dread meeting a new business contact, knowing there's a small but substantial chance he'll make some awkward comment. Some thoughts: 1. Is this more common in silicon valley than elsewhere? (I've never…

Replying to #1, I think you are likely to see this dynamic in any industry where there are huge power imbalances, especially in an industry with tons of aspirants and very few successes (no one wants to jeopardize their potential "big break"). For example, Hollywood is pretty famous for this type of behavior.

People are talking about "sexism in tech", but this case much more about "sexual harassment by the powerful."

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#382

Post by dang »

nickpsecurity wrote: post #68

"Because VCs are all populated by serial harassers who now realize they can't get away with this crap?" Because any of them that aren't used to avoiding all the risky behaviors, whether doing it intentionally (asking for dates) or unintentionally ("discriminatory language"), will now worry that they'll be hit with newspaper articles that can destroy their career. They'll be considered guilty until proven innocent by…

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14674190 and marked it off-topic.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#383

Post by obmelvin »

linkregister wrote: post #366
bt4u wrote: post #345

You don't stop. Not if you want the girl. Movies, friends and family have taught us otherwise. You have to fight for the girl, right? And it works! You know, I have a friend who, when she goes out, she always tell the guys she has a boyfriend. She doesn't really. She just wants to weed out the weak men not willing to fight for her. This is not some stupid bimbo either, she has a PhD. And she's not the only one of my…

This sarcasm is very close to sounding earnest. I'm not even sure it's sarcasm.

He/she's definitely not being sarcastic, but I don't think the GP agrees

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#384

Post by dang »

bt4u wrote: post #345

You don't stop. Not if you want the girl. Movies, friends and family have taught us otherwise. You have to fight for the girl, right? And it works! You know, I have a friend who, when she goes out, she always tell the guys she has a boyfriend. She doesn't really. She just wants to weed out the weak men not willing to fight for her. This is not some stupid bimbo either, she has a PhD. And she's not the only one of my…

Single-purpose accounts (which this one appears to be, given its history) are not allowed here, especially not for an ideological agenda about a divisive topic. We have therefore banned this account. If you don't want to be banned on HN, you're welcome to email hn@ycombinator.com and give us reason to believe that you want to use the site as intended, i.e. for intellectual curiosity, not political battle.

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14674705 and marked it off-topic.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#385

Post by rhcom2 »

bt4u wrote: post #345

You don't stop. Not if you want the girl. Movies, friends and family have taught us otherwise. You have to fight for the girl, right? And it works! You know, I have a friend who, when she goes out, she always tell the guys she has a boyfriend. She doesn't really. She just wants to weed out the weak men not willing to fight for her. This is not some stupid bimbo either, she has a PhD. And she's not the only one of my…

I certainly agree pop culture teaches men the chase but I've never known any who does that. What does your friend tell them after they begin their relationship and the other person thinks it's an affair? Does she then break up with her imaginary boyfriend?

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#386

Post by [deleted] »

obstinate wrote: post #354
sillysaurus3 wrote: post #349

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Certainly. But what does justice look like here? If nobody knows or nobody's willing to venture a guess, then we should at least acknowledge that complete social ostracism is a massive penalty. Are you sure the punishment fits the crime? It seems more likely that there's a reasonable middle ground, but maybe someone has a persuasive argument to the contrary.

- Reparations to all he harmed directly. - Further reparations to groups representing those similarly situated. - Meaningful engagement with mental health professionals to attempt to work on the source of the problem. - Less defensive, less self-promotional apologies. These four are the bare minimum. Until he has done each of these, he's receiving a failing grade from me.

[deleted]

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#387

Post by 1024core »

auganov wrote: post #106

"Apologies" like Chris Sacca's [0] don't make you too hopeful. Often I have committed as their first limited partner and encouraged them to use my name and participation to attract other investment. I’ve introduced them to my fund’s most loyal investors and made sure they have had the opportunity to make their case rather than get lost in an inbox. I’ve also connected them to our trusted service providers saving them…

He explicitly says "I am sorry" at least 5 times. That seems pretty genuine to me.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#388

Post by linkregister »

Klockan wrote: post #373
linkregister wrote: post #363

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It certainly raises some interesting quid-pro-quo questions. Every sexual harassment training I've attended has mentioned this as very dangerous territory, but not explicitly sexual harassment.

If a CEO asked a much younger employee out and it made her so uncomfortable that she quit would you still say that it wasn't sexual harassment? Once is still too much. And for all we know Melinda might have felt compelled to say yes to avoid retaliation and only later accepted it.

According to my many sexual harassment trainings, it doesn't meet the definition of sexual harassment under U.S. law. But it is extremely borderline.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#389

Post by 1024core »

peter94104 wrote: post #365

If you want to be taken seriously and you value your career more than attracting men, cut your hair short, no makeup, and wear a suit. if you come to my meeting dolled up, you either aren't serious or you're using it as an advantage. I don't hit on women I do business with. But I take them much more seriously when they come to me on the merits of their business. Only. This is business deal. Not a mixer. Like I said,…

... says the guy hiding behind an anonymous, throwaway account. If you really feel this way, please put your real name on it.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#390

Post by bobdole1234 »

haikuginger wrote: post #272
bobdole1234 wrote: post #254

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're completely neglecting the fact that there is a large contingent of women that this behavior WORKS LIKE CATNIP ON. There is a reason why a huge amount of porn in the world (and porn made for women) about boss / secretary, teacher / student, rich person / poor person, mentor / underling power imbalances: it's a major part of our sexuality as social animals. So, these men have often gone through life bein…

> So, these men have often gone through life being wildly successful with this type of behavior up until society started to change around them. I feel so bad for them. /s

I'm not saying you should feel bad for them.

I'm saying that's why it's so common: It's been a viable strategy for a long time.

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