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Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

nytimes.com

301–310 of 882 posts

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#301

I give a lot of credit to women like Susan Fowler who were brave enough to speak out, with starting what feels a bit like a tidal wave. I hope we see similar light shone on institutionalized racism.

I don't think it was entirely bravery. She had also recently published a book and created a book club when she thrust herself into the spotlight

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you're right. It's "unlawful" but handled civilly. While looking up the relevant law, I looked through the Civil Rights Act of 1964 which prohibits employment discrimination on the basis of sex and various other things, and discovered that there is an explicit exception written in to the law for members of the Communist Party. So you can totally discriminate against any commies who might try to work for you.…

Jeez, the Cold War was a strange time. The exception seems especially weird since political party affiliation wasn't a protected class in the law to begin with. I guess that meant you legally could say, "We only hire non-Communists, regardless of sex/race/religion/...; and white Communist Jain men of Estonian origin." I wonder if it was just a "safeguard" against members of CPUSA claiming their membership was a relig…

I found this PDF which describes some of the history behind this clause:

http://lawdigitalcommons.bc.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=...

It sounds like it was an amendment introduced by a confused lawmaker who wanted to make sure the law wouldn't stop companies from firing Communists. The amendment was then accepted on the basis that it didn't make any difference (since as you note party affiliation isn't protected in the first place), so it wouldn't do any harm to include it.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#304

Harassment goes both ways. I have worked in Silicon Valley for 8 years. I have heard women managers and even a CEO say and do inappropriate things. Not only did the woman CEO say horrible things about her employees, she was also a bad CEO.

Unfortunately, female offenders receive less attention and appropriate punishment for their actions.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#305
post #297

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a bit of a different scenario, though. The statement I objected to is sexist in at least one of these two ways: 1) it presumes that women appreciate these advances from men in positions of power simply because they're attractive (i.e. that harrassment is "forgiven by default" if it's done by an attractive guy) or, 2) women are vacuous and easily charmed by attractive men to the point where they don't recognize…

It probably isn't sexist to say that people appreciate advances from someone who is extremely attractive, as long as both are available and looking. The problem is that it's inappropriate to express interest if you're in a position of power over someone, whether you're a man or a woman. I think you were saying that, but point #1 lacks that context.

That's fair, and I edited my comment to reflect that.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My point holds as long as false accusations are possible. Women, like men, are not all angels. Sexism, or even patriarchy, has no gender.

False accusations are basically not possible though. The people getting in trouble right now are not the borderline cases of someone saying an awkward comment here or there. The people getting in trouble are the serial harassers who are so egregiously bad that a multitude of incidents are documented. Your big standard subtle sexist or tech douche bro has nothing to worry about.

Ellen Pao case shows they are quite possible.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#307

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My point holds as long as false accusations are possible. Women, like men, are not all angels. Sexism, or even patriarchy, has no gender.

False accusations are basically not possible though. The people getting in trouble right now are not the borderline cases of someone saying an awkward comment here or there. The people getting in trouble are the serial harassers who are so egregiously bad that a multitude of incidents are documented. Your big standard subtle sexist or tech douche bro has nothing to worry about.

[deleted]

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#308
post #159

What are your thoughts on women with borderline personality disorder abusing an environment in which the burden of proof is placed entirely on the defendant?

I think that you are derailing the conversation, and I would appreciate it if you would stop.

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#309
post #202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What would be enough to you?

It would be a good start if he came to this realization on his own, instead of right after being contacted by the New York Times going "Hey, we're going to publish a story about your sexual harassment, do you want to dispute this account".

People make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes go back years, and sometimes a sudden traumatic event can snap someone out of the patterns of behavior they fell into.

The point is that it's probably a mistake to treat him the same way you'd treat certain kinds of felons. Part of that is to give him an opportunity to contribute in a positive way to the world, like everyone else. If he's genuine, then isn't there some way to do that?

Re: Silicon Valley Women, in Cultural Shift, Frankly Describe Sexual Harassment

#310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know many people like that, and no, they don't derive an enjoyable power trip out of being rejected at all. Theybdon't know they can get away with it. They don't know that they are doing it . These people are rarely evil and predatory. They usually genuinely believe that the behavior they are exhibiting is desireable. They think that this is how the game is played, and these things are a form of peacocking. They th…

I know many people like that, and no, they don't derive an enjoyable power trip out of being rejected at all. Theybdon't know they can get away with it. They don't know that they are doing it. These people are rarely evil and predatory. They usually genuinely believe that the behavior they are exhibiting is desirable. Basically, power corrupts. Being a boss, an investor, or an employer comes with power. Just having t…

To say the overt "no" -- to directly say what you want and mean -- is to claim agency as an adult.

We absolutely should encourage this, but let's not ignore that we need to build a culture that doesn't ostracize and attack people when they do this.

So far, we have HR departments that have an incentive to ignore, minimize or deflect these problems. We have a culture of employment that says that this is all part of dealing with a job in a tough industry. And we have internet trolls ready to harass people when they come out against this behavior.

The first part, of asserting yourself and claiming your agency, is extraordinarily important. But there's so much more to it. If someone is sexually harassed, and they hit a brick wall at every turn, the best case scenario is that they ditch the startup or tech industry and go to more established companies that actually have a solid culture and process in place. And that is an absolute loss for everyone, especially because the kind of person who can see everything weighed against them and still takes a stand is what the startup scene is supposed to be all about. We shouldn't punish or ignore those people.

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