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Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

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Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#51

Post by RIMR »

dwaltrip wrote: post #28

So I understand that Justin made some serious mistakes in pursuing his interest in several female entrepreneurs. Does there exist an acceptable manner for someone in a position like his to pursue such an interest? I'd imagine it would depend a lot on the context -- for example, it seems clear to me it would be very inappropriate to do so during any time period where a deal was being negotiated. And of course, general…

What you should do:

-Ask a woman out for dinner

-Exchange contact information, and ask to connect outside of work.

-Reach out via social media and express interest.

------------------

What you should not do:

-Grab a woman's leg under the table.

-Suggest that you move to a hotel room in the middle of a meeting.

-Suggest an open sexual relationship with multiple women from one company.

-Continue with romantic and sexual advances after already being rejected once.

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#52

Post by dragonwriter »

wyldfire wrote: post #26
opportune wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

" such deep and genuine self-awareness" Lol, seriously? This is standard PR bullshit. Clearly in this situation, the evidence was so cut-and-dry and unambiguous that Caldbeck had no choice but to admit defeat. The type of person that repeatedly engages in this behavior is not at all the type of person to be sobered by excellent communication. He just saw the writing on the wall.

Standard PR bullshit is terse by design. This sounds sincere. > evidence was so cut-and-dry and unambiguous that Caldbeck had no choice but to admit defeat. Usually when there's unambiguous evidence, people challenge the premise/context/authenticity of the evidence.

> Usually when there's unambiguous evidence, people challenge the premise/context/authenticity of the evidence

His earlier statement challenged the context (though only vaguely, stating that there was significant context that was omitted from the reports.)

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#53

Post by jasonkostempski »

jakobegger wrote: post #20
leereeves wrote: post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The bigger thread has already been downvoted off the front page Isn't that the result of a Hacker News algorithm that hides stories that receive a lot of comments in a short time?

My experience on HN is that stories about sexism often disappear quickly. It's often that I click on a story on the front page to read the comments, only to see it flagged a few moments later. My explanation is that there is a significant number of HN readers that flag stories about sexism in tech because they don't believe them, but of course I don't have any evidence for that.

It's seems more likely that, like me, they flag them because they clearly fall into the Off-Topic category of the HN guidelines.

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#54

Post by anothercomment »

ithinkinstereo wrote: post #2

The bigger thread has already been downvoted off the front page and this one is falling quickly. Disgusting. For all the down voters: Justin just admitted that all the accusations are true. https://www.axios.com/justin-caldbeck-takes-indefinite-leave... The past 24 hours have been the darkest of my life. I have made many mistakes over the course of my career, some of which were brought to light this week. To say I'm…

Maybe it is not even that interesting - a guy overstepped his boundaries? Few readers are probably deep enough in Startup Culture to have heard of him or Binary Capital, so why is it relevant?

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#55

Post by dwaltrip »

eridius wrote: post #45
dwaltrip wrote: post #28

So I understand that Justin made some serious mistakes in pursuing his interest in several female entrepreneurs. Does there exist an acceptable manner for someone in a position like his to pursue such an interest? I'd imagine it would depend a lot on the context -- for example, it seems clear to me it would be very inappropriate to do so during any time period where a deal was being negotiated. And of course, general…

> Does there exist an acceptable manner for someone in a position like his to pursue such an interest? No. The power dynamic always makes it a problem. Someone in a position like his needs to look elsewhere for relationships.

I understand this is a common position, and I totally understand why. In most cases, it seems like the proper default.

However, I wonder if it is really something we can hold up as an absolute. Aren't there many successful relationships where one person is higher up the ladder than the other? Obviously, such things must be approached with significantly more caution.

But it seems an over generalization to assert that it is _impossible_ for it to happen without an abuse of power occurring.

Please note I'm absolutely NOT trying to defend or diminish Justin's actions here. I'm asking a different question.

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#56

Post by maxxxxx »

obstinate wrote: post #19
maxxxxx wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's pretty impressive. Usually they somehow turn around the whole issue during this kind of "apology" but he pretty much says he behaved badly and that's it. Edit: After reading https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14622737 I think he is just a big asshole who wants to make this go away so he can get back to business. No real remorse.

It would be more impressive to not harass women founders. This apology moves him above harassers who don't apologize, but still miles below non-harassers. Beware of giving someone too much credit for doing something very harmful, then apologizing for it effusively. It doesn't undo the harm.

I am not giving him credit and I wouldn't be surprised if he did the same stuff again like a lot of other abusers. I was just surprised that at least what he wrote was not the usual passive aggressive stuff public figures put out. Stuff like "I am sorry if my actions got interpreted as harmful".

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#57

Post by FT_intern »

dwaltrip wrote: post #28

So I understand that Justin made some serious mistakes in pursuing his interest in several female entrepreneurs. Does there exist an acceptable manner for someone in a position like his to pursue such an interest? I'd imagine it would depend a lot on the context -- for example, it seems clear to me it would be very inappropriate to do so during any time period where a deal was being negotiated. And of course, general…

Don't work in tech? Business development/marketing/real estate fields are full of young people who boink all the time. It actually happens much less frequently in tech because of the language/cultural barrier from the high immigrant population and the introvertedness of engineers.

It's just highlighted and seen as controversial when it happens in tech.

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#58

Post by DanHulton »

dwaltrip wrote: post #28

So I understand that Justin made some serious mistakes in pursuing his interest in several female entrepreneurs. Does there exist an acceptable manner for someone in a position like his to pursue such an interest? I'd imagine it would depend a lot on the context -- for example, it seems clear to me it would be very inappropriate to do so during any time period where a deal was being negotiated. And of course, general…

I'd imagine the massive power imbalance makes this effectively impossible.

That said, I think it's irrelevant. We're adults, and should be able to recognize that this isn't a fairy tale where you see someone and fall in love at first sight and need to risk it all to make it work.

This is a business relationship. If you're looking for love, look somewhere else. If you're looking for something a little more tawdry, then doubly so look somewhere else. It's just not appropriate in this situation.

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#59

Post by DanHulton »

dwaltrip wrote: post #55
eridius wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Does there exist an acceptable manner for someone in a position like his to pursue such an interest? No. The power dynamic always makes it a problem. Someone in a position like his needs to look elsewhere for relationships.

I understand this is a common position, and I totally understand why. In most cases, it seems like the proper default. However, I wonder if it is really something we can hold up as an absolute. Aren't there many successful relationships where one person is higher up the ladder than the other? Obviously, such things must be approached with significantly more caution. But it seems an over generalization to assert that…

There may be a million-in-one shot of making it work, but in all those other chances, the risks of it blowing up are too high, and the near-certitude of making the less-powerful party feel threatened is just not worth it.

An analogy: An entrepreneur is meeting a VC for breakfast and wants the stem of their strawberry cut off. The VC suggests that he throws a knife at the entrepreneur while the entrepreneur holds the strawberry in front of them. Sure, it's possible it'll work, but it's dangerous and the entrepreneur is almost certainly going to get hurt.

Re: Female founders accuse VC Justin Caldbeck of making unwanted advances

#60

Post by obstinate »

Jemmeh wrote: post #29
obstinate wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It would be more impressive to not harass women founders. This apology moves him above harassers who don't apologize, but still miles below non-harassers. Beware of giving someone too much credit for doing something very harmful, then apologizing for it effusively. It doesn't undo the harm.

I really wanna hear from people who are downvoting this. It's right to still be mad at him even if he apologizes!

Par for the course when it comes to women's issues on this site. Sad but true. There are a lot of men on here, and it's hard to see things that don't affect you directly.
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