To Stay in Love, Sign on the Dotted Line

Better title: "To stay in love, communicate honestly and openly" | these guys just happened to find a way to do that in writing

My thoughts exactly. The language used and driving idea were so clinical and robotic that I couldn't tell if this article was satire or not.

> We were together for almost a decade, and in that time I somehow lost track of my own habits and preferences. If I wanted to split the grocery bill, he suggested I buy only things we both liked. If I wanted to spend weekends together, I could go skiing with him and his friends. And so I did. I made my life look like his.

> It wasn’t until I moved out that I began to see that there hadn’t been room for me in my relationship. And not merely because my ex hadn’t offered it — it had never occurred to me to ask.

This happened to an ex of mine.

I think the success of her next relationship was not the contract per se, but internalizing this epiphany. The contract is her specific implementation of how to deal with it, but the important thing for everyone, I think, is the quoted portion above.

I would not be so quick to scoff at the writing part either. For a lot of people I know (many of them journal-keepers), physically writing something out is the most meaningful part of completing and internalizing a thought.

Sure, it's not. But what they've found is a way to communicate openly and honestly; ultimately, if this approach helps to further that, then why's it horrible?

If it works for them, more power to them! And as they say, there's someone out there for everyone.

I personally react poorly to the idea that I--along with my relationships--am this computer that must be programmed by my intellectual self. I connect this with the overall trend of lifehacking.

That said, I still learn from people who take such an explicit approach, and just try to find more organic ways to apply some of these things to my own life. It lets me feel like I'm striking the right balance of spontaneity and intention.