Ask HN: Why is it hard to find a wife now-a-days?

Agree with you on "tech persons are more comfortable with computers than woman"

The crux of your question revolves around loneliness and your desire for companionship, but I think you're focusing instead on a list of inflexible requirements that you're imposing upon a person you have yet to meet. Are all of these expectations really what you need from another person in your life, or do they stem from fear of women, relationships, and trust? If it's the latter, insecurity is getting in the way of your happiness, and that's not healthy.

Also, I'm bothered by a lot of your wording. Some things to consider, that only you can really answer:

Why are you afraid that women are hunting you down for your "resources?" What is this presumed power/resource imbalance and what does that say about your opinion of women in general?

Why do you expect someone to have no relationship experience? You stated that you feel like you've missed out on building your own experiences. Why do you wish this mistake on someone else? Do you also expect your male friends to never have been in a relationship? What does that say about your respect for the experiences and agency of half the world's people?

What are the social norms around alcohol consumption in your city. If it's normal for people to drink socially once or more a week, how might your alcohol rules affect a person's other social relationships. It's this really about alcohol or is it about control or fear of the other relationships in a woman's life? Are you hoping to change someone? What's does this say about your own insecurities and ability to trust?

Finally, what do you imagine is a "decent woman?" Does she need to be Indian? Can she be more successful than you? Make more money? Hack better code? Have more friends? Is a woman with relationship experience not decent? Can a decent woman impress you? Can you work under a decent woman? What age is a decent woman? Are most women you meet decent? Does your definition of a "decent man" differ?

As a married male software engineer in his 20s: the problem here is you. Your expectations are ridiculous and if you continue to seek a woman who meets them you will likely die alone.

You want an Indian woman living in the PNW, roughly your age (I assume) yet without any relationship experience, limited alcohol consumption and didn't party in her 20s?

I'm sure many people here would like a rich supermodel scientist who can cook a beautiful meal too. Would you say their inability to marry one is because of some change in society?

Drop your insane criteria entirely. You need to be meeting as many people as you can and _really_ getting to know them. For all you know, your perfect wife is a fun-loving African-American who's been in a few relationships and loves partying but right now, if you ran into her at a conference or something, you'd dismiss her instantly because she doesn't meet your silly criteria.

Also, don't be laser focused on marriage. If you go into all your relationships looking only for a wife, you're near certain to fail. Finding a wife (for me at least) is about getting to know someone first and deciding you want to spend your life with them second. It normally takes years for people to decide they're willing to make a commitment like marriage.

> How come you said a women "on my side" rather than "by my side"? (is she a gun or a partner?)

I think this is just an honest mistake as a result of bad English rather than a reflection of his attitude towards women.