Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

nytimes.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

51–60 of 149 posts

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#51

Post by i336_ »

fsiefken wrote: post #6

my s.o. has been doing this since early childhood, it's second nature for her. It's amazing to me that she can do it so easily and I notice that she can plan and analyze things much better, it's like she's having a scrumm meeting with herself. If I try to do it, it's less spontaneous. I wish I could learn it.

Pretend there's someone listening who is both unconditionally neutral about and unconditionally interested in everything you say.

The idea is not to conceptualize an imaginary person, but to lower the hesitancy of "but there's noone there". Trying it in an empty house may be helpful.

I found myself pacing after a mildly stressful event a few years ago, and the practice stuck as a way to help myself wind down. I'm not actually sure when I started talking to myself too, I think it was around that point. I do both on a virtually daily basis, it's how I figure many things out.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#52

Post by djsumdog »

Baeocystin wrote: post #32
MichaelGG wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How did you shut off your inner voice? I went on a multi-day, complete-silence (no talking, reading, etc.) retreat to meditate and found I wasn't much closer to shutting off the internal voice or flood of random thoughts.

Not the person you asked, but I do have practice at this skill. And it is a skill. I also have a highly-active internal thoughtstream, and it can cause me significant stress if I don't control it. In my case, it isn't a verbal dialogue, but rather the thoughts that swim around one level below. Busy nonetheless. The only thing that works for me is to not fight it. If I attempt to resist the flow, it only amplifies the…

There are two schools of thought in meditation that kinda apply to this. Some people focus on their breath or a mantra or hum and try to keep thoughts from getting in. If a though appears, just label it and let it pass.

Others do what you're describing, let the thoughts come but see them as just passing clouds in the sky. Eventually you distance yourself from that stream of consciousness and can focus just on your breath.

The two are not mutually exclusive either.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#53

Post by djsumdog »

I talk to myself all the time, especially when hiking or out for a walk. This can get embarrassing when you run into another person around a turn. If you are with your friend and talking, well you're just talking to your friend. When it's just you .. that must be a crazy person (unless you've got a flashing bluetooth headset or a phone in your hand I guess).

I usually get real silent and then slowly pick back up as I walk away; trying to whisper to myself and keep my voice low in case someone else is on the trail.

I don't think I've ever encountered someone else doing this .. except sometimes for that crazy homeless person on the street .. and they don't exactly stop when people walk by them.

I've started to think I'm probably one of the few people who do this, but it's so helpful to hear my thoughts to put things into order and organize them that it's not something I really want to stop doing.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#54

Post by campbelltown »

Yeah, this makes sense. I talk to myself a decent amount. But not about anything remotely constructive.

I'm a talkative person by nature and spend a lot of time alone, so I'm guessing it's more loneliness than anything; although I'm certainly not depressed. It's like an itch and suddenly, without realizing it, I'm having full blown conversations with myself. I've always wondered how many of us there were out there.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#55

Post by jschwartzi »

djsumdog wrote: post #53

I talk to myself all the time, especially when hiking or out for a walk. This can get embarrassing when you run into another person around a turn. If you are with your friend and talking, well you're just talking to your friend. When it's just you .. that must be a crazy person (unless you've got a flashing bluetooth headset or a phone in your hand I guess). I usually get real silent and then slowly pick back up as I…

I've talked to myself and also sung to myself on trails before. Once I was hiking down from a conditioner at night cold, wet, miserable, and tired, so I started singing to myself as I went just to keep my spirits up.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#56

Post by jpindar »

BadassFractal wrote: post #47

I remember Sam Harris pointing out in his book on consciousness and meditation just how absurd it is that we regularly have conversations with ourselves. "Hmm, I wonder where I left the keys, they must be on the kitchen table, nope, man I'm going to be late to work again..". Who is the interlocutor? Does the thing we're talking to already not have all of the information the speaker has? If we saw someone have this co…

There are many times when I don't have an internal monologue. I can't imagine what it would be like to have one all the time.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#57

Post by Baeocystin »

djsumdog wrote: post #52
Baeocystin wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not the person you asked, but I do have practice at this skill. And it is a skill. I also have a highly-active internal thoughtstream, and it can cause me significant stress if I don't control it. In my case, it isn't a verbal dialogue, but rather the thoughts that swim around one level below. Busy nonetheless. The only thing that works for me is to not fight it. If I attempt to resist the flow, it only amplifies the…

There are two schools of thought in meditation that kinda apply to this. Some people focus on their breath or a mantra or hum and try to keep thoughts from getting in. If a though appears, just label it and let it pass. Others do what you're describing, let the thoughts come but see them as just passing clouds in the sky. Eventually you distance yourself from that stream of consciousness and can focus just on your br…

Indeed. There are many ways to the same goal. Much of practice is simply discovering what works best for you.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#58

Post by behnamoh »

gregmac wrote: post #5

This made me think of rubber duck problem solving [1][2], though it didn't mention it specifically. Talking through a problem out loud forces you to structure your thoughts in a logical way, and sometimes doing that you'll realize an obvious connection or step you missed. [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging [2] http://hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com/148664.html

It might also help to think and talk in another language. There was a study showing that thinking in a foreign language makes you think more logically.

English is not my native tongue, but honestly it has helped me convey some meanings to myself that I just couldn't do in my native language. I'm starting to wonder what my thoughts would be like if I learn Japanese or Chinese.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#59

Post by kevin_thibedeau »

hliyan wrote: post #43
gregmac wrote: post #5

This made me think of rubber duck problem solving [1][2], though it didn't mention it specifically. Talking through a problem out loud forces you to structure your thoughts in a logical way, and sometimes doing that you'll realize an obvious connection or step you missed. [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber_duck_debugging [2] http://hwrnmnbsol.livejournal.com/148664.html

I do this with writing. Even if the problem has 3 points, I write down a list on the whiteboard. Even if the part of the system I'm concerned about has two components, I draw two boxes with a connecting line. Then I stare at the board. It's surprising how effective this can be. Edit: I suspect Sherlock Holmes was the first fictional character to employ rubber-ducking (albeit with Watson as the duck). Greg House would…

House is Sherlock Holmes.

Re: The Benefits of Talking to Yourself

#60

Post by wapz »

redcap wrote: post #40
tokyokawasemi wrote: post #35

This is also super useful for learning a second language. I once met a dude in China without much of a noticable accent. I asked him if he had lived abroad, to which he replied that he had never been outside the country. He just regular talked to himself in English in his head. I'm sure other factors contributed to his strong English, but I found this really interesting and started trying it with Chinese (which I was…

One of my Japanese teachers really stressed reading out loud as good practice - you practice reading the piece, you practice saying the words, and you get some listening practice too. One nice big feedback loop!

I've studied Japanese for a long time (and work in Japanese only now) and if you want to work on pronunciation I learned to "shadow" in my Japanese class. You watch any tv show and you repeat exactly what they say right after to get the intonation down. It's weird at first but it's super effective due to the difficulty of Japanese's hidden intonations.

One other thing we learned was to talk real loud with either a high or low pitch as it helps you learn very quickly the proper pitches. I heard news casters in either Japanese or American news casters do this.

Post reply on HN