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“Let her speak please”

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Re: “Let her speak please”

#31

Post by obstacle1 »

ainiriand wrote: post #26
obstacle1 wrote: post #23

What's really interesting is that the author only became 'boiling' with rage when this socially-unaware moderator talked over the woman on the panel, not when he talked over the other men. This kind of behavior is extremely common in STEM, and happens to everyone. If you don't talk with confidence, purpose, and animation, you're going to get talked over by the alpha nerd of the group. Man, woman, or purple elephant.…

Have you actually seen the video?

Yes, that is how I know that the moderator talks over each panelist in turn throughout the 'conversation'.

Do you have something to add to the discussion, or a question you wanted to ask of me that has some value? I'm not sure what you think your comment accomplishes here.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#32

Post by watwut »

kirRoyale wrote: post #20
jasonshen wrote: post #11

Edit: I watched the video. The moderator goes on and on and the "let her speak please" sounds very polite. This is a painfully frustrating reminder that women get talked over by men. It's one thing to have one panelist talk over another, but to have the moderator, who is explicitly in charge of facilitating a panel discussion, be the one to drown out a panelist is just unacceptable. Yes, "not all men" do this, but th…

You know men get talked over by women too?

Well, in this instance, if you watch the video, males were treated differently.

Yes, hypothetically, if women acted the same (or interrupted only males), she would be as bad as he was. Yes, hypothetically, if he treated males and females the same, he would be just equal opportunity asshole.

Nevertheless, in this specific case, the only women was treated differently.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#33

Post by mosselman »

curiousgal wrote: post #12

> he continued to talk over her and dominate the space for several minutes > I'm still upset by the incredible sexism that has been demonstrated this afternoon Now I feel bad for missing out on labeling every instance of a man being rude to me as sexism! /s

My thoughts exactly. It is beyond all doubt that sexism exists in the world, there are countless examples of it, from Disney movies, toy advertisement, philharmonic orchestra, etc, etc.

I find it a bit strange to label the speaker as a sexist just because he didn't let someone speak. Maybe he is just a dick? Maybe she was rude to him back stage? Maybe he was having a bad day? Maybe the chemistry between them was off? You have no idea what is going on beyond him not letting someone speak.

I even find it offensive to label his behaviour as sexist. What, I now can't be rude to a woman without being called a sexist? People should stick to the facts, not fill in the underlying reasoning. Well... unless you want to spark heated debates of course, in which case it is a solid strategy.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#34

Post by watwut »

obstacle1 wrote: post #23

What's really interesting is that the author only became 'boiling' with rage when this socially-unaware moderator talked over the woman on the panel, not when he talked over the other men. This kind of behavior is extremely common in STEM, and happens to everyone. If you don't talk with confidence, purpose, and animation, you're going to get talked over by the alpha nerd of the group. Man, woman, or purple elephant.…

Aren't nerds supposed to be awkward and shy? Alpha nerd sounds like an oxymoron to me.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#35

Post by Quarrelsome »

he doesn't interrupt just her. His role is host, his role is to move the conversation about and yes he does fuck up by saying some stuff he should leave to her. However to me the evocative language used in the Facebook post suggests there is an aspect of deliberately seeking out "injustice" and being overly sensitive to it and seeing the world as a gender battle. If you're looking at the world through such a frame you're gonna get false positives. Maybe this isn't one but I feel a detailed and objective analysis might make it more close than the OP _feels_ it is through their frame that they view the world.

Did the host just fuck up or was it sexism? Maybe the host really loves her work and is read-up on it and got carried away? There are lots of possibilities. I'm not disagreeing with OP, I like that they chipped in. Everyone has the right to push around on their local environment to change it. I'm just wary of people viewing the world as a gender battle because it might turn it into more of a gender battle than it actually was.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#36

Post by ainiriand »

obstacle1 wrote: post #31
ainiriand wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you actually seen the video?

Yes, that is how I know that the moderator talks over each panelist in turn throughout the 'conversation'. Do you have something to add to the discussion, or a question you wanted to ask of me that has some value? I'm not sure what you think your comment accomplishes here.

Maybe we've seen different videos. Just that.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#37

Post by humanrebar »

seanhandley wrote: post #7
pokemongoaway wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How many times do we have to tell feminists that this isn't sexism? Ya all those people on stage just HATE women! What about bad manners? What about cut throat career promoting academicians getting an audience?

You want to tell feminists what sexism is? My advice: don't. Listen.

Isn't this whole thread about not letting people talk over you? Only listening and not being able to contribute back to what should be a conversation?

Everyone has the right to express frustration, I think.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#38

Post by exodust »

coffeedoughnuts wrote: post #10
pokemongoaway wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How many times do we have to tell feminists that this isn't sexism? Ya all those people on stage just HATE women! What about bad manners? What about cut throat career promoting academicians getting an audience?

In my opinion, what makes this closer to sexism than bad manners is the fact that the same person seems to have conducted himself with good manners for the rest of the event when talking with the male members of the panel.

But he conducted himself fine with her at the 27:10 point when he asks her to explain something and does not interrupt.

https://youtu.be/Er7qPv8jsZo?t=27m9s

So I think you're looking for grounds for sexism accusation which aren't really there.

Further more, there's nothing stopping her from stepping in and giving her views at any point, as other members of the panel were doing from time to time. If she's too shy to jump in, please don't blame that on the conduct of the other participants.

Re: “Let her speak please”

#39

Post by king_phil »

ainiriand wrote: post #36
obstacle1 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, that is how I know that the moderator talks over each panelist in turn throughout the 'conversation'. Do you have something to add to the discussion, or a question you wanted to ask of me that has some value? I'm not sure what you think your comment accomplishes here.

Maybe we've seen different videos. Just that.

And maybe you don't have anything to add and just want to be passive-aggressive...

Re: “Let her speak please”

#40

Post by rainbowmverse »

obstacle1 wrote: post #23

What's really interesting is that the author only became 'boiling' with rage when this socially-unaware moderator talked over the woman on the panel, not when he talked over the other men. This kind of behavior is extremely common in STEM, and happens to everyone. If you don't talk with confidence, purpose, and animation, you're going to get talked over by the alpha nerd of the group. Man, woman, or purple elephant.…

Two things can be true:

1: Alpha nerds are jerks to everyone. (true)

2: A specific instance of an alpha nerd being a jerk to someone can be because they're being sexist. (likely, based on the account I read)

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