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Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

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Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#261

Post by tmaly »

raybb wrote: post #216
kahlonel wrote: post #86

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was going to mention this book. Glad you did it :) Totally changes your perspective towards success.

Is this this book you guys are talking about? https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/368593.The_4_Hour_Workwe... The reviews seem pretty mixed but I might pick it up just to see for myself.

Yes, but there is a revised edition with bright orange colors on the dust cover of the hardbound version.

The first part of the book on productivity is still very relevant. There are a few dated parts in the book regarding testing an idea.

I still recommend it to all of my friends who have not read it as the bigger picture message is one that is still very relevant today.

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#262

Post by JSeymourATL »

How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams.

Turns out the creator of Dilbert was at one time a mid-senior level manager in Corporate America, who attempted several failed entrepreneurial ventures over the years. He's also a brilliant writer. Totally hooked by Chapter 3: Passion is Bullshit > http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17859574-how-to-fail-at-a... 

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#263

Post by thisisit »

sngz wrote: post #68
bradbatt wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, because it changed my understanding of people for the better. Absolutely everyone should read this book. I wish it had a better title. "Understanding People" would be an excellent one.

I've seen this book recommended many times. I read a few chapters and don't feel like it was useful. Some of the stuff is obvious common sense like smile don't criticize others, be a good listener etc. Then it tells you to be genuinely interested in someone. How can you force yourself to be interested in someone? Does the book go into anything actually useful later on?

I started reading it recently and while most of the topics are pretty obvious. But we tend to forget those. For example the very first topic - don't criticize. With the advent of internet things have turned into black and white. The more you point someone the more ardently they will defend. For example Trump supporters. Pushed to brink, they now don't even care for his near impeachment behavior because now defending has become about pride.

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#265

Post by ozovehe »

SyneRyder wrote: post #173
grimoald wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're lucky if this is common sense for you. Sadly, for me, coming from a family where bad mood and malice is daily fare, this book was an eye opener.

For someone who was socially awkward growing up, it wasn't all common sense for me either. I once had a neighbour tell me "I have a name, you know" and it seemed a crazy thing to say, of course they have a name! It wasn't until reading the book that I understood they were offended that I never used their name in conversation.

I don't use people's names during conversations and no one has ever pointed it out. Maybe I should read that book

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#266

Post by SyneRyder »

ozovehe wrote: post #265
SyneRyder wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For someone who was socially awkward growing up, it wasn't all common sense for me either. I once had a neighbour tell me "I have a name, you know" and it seemed a crazy thing to say, of course they have a name! It wasn't until reading the book that I understood they were offended that I never used their name in conversation.

I don't use people's names during conversations and no one has ever pointed it out. Maybe I should read that book

It's worth reading, even if just to understand why others are recommending it. Sometimes they're not really recommending the book, but just "this book was the first to get me thinking about people skills".

The section on names is Chapter 3, ending with the principle "Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

The chapter itself rambles on a bit and claims the success of US presidents & Andrew Carnegie is their ability to memorize thousands of first names... I think that's an exaggeration. But there's an element of truth to it, if you keep it in the back of your mind and try it yourself, memorizing people's names & using their name when you next meet them. (Especially at nightclubs, which is where I probably learned/used it most.)

Think of it as the difference between a letter addressed "Dear Ozovehe" vs "To Whom It May Concern". The latter shows they haven't even tried to get to know you personally. And now you'll notice when email / internet marketers try to use your name for just that reason....

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#267

Post by allwein »

ozovehe wrote: post #265
SyneRyder wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For someone who was socially awkward growing up, it wasn't all common sense for me either. I once had a neighbour tell me "I have a name, you know" and it seemed a crazy thing to say, of course they have a name! It wasn't until reading the book that I understood they were offended that I never used their name in conversation.

I don't use people's names during conversations and no one has ever pointed it out. Maybe I should read that book

It doesn't necessarily mean during conversations (which can be and sound weird), but could simply mean when greeting them.

As an example, do you have a normal bar, restaurant, or coffee shop that you go to? When you go in, I'm sure that they greet you as most places do, and you probably toss of a "Hi" or a "Hey" and that's about it, even if you know their name. Try this next time. When you walk in and they greet you, give them a big smile like you're happy to see a friend and actually address them by name with a "Hey Mark! Can I get a Miller Lite" or "Hey Deb, table for four tonight". It doesn't really take much effort, but it really builds a connection.

WARNING: I'll toss this in as a warning. Don't fake knowing their name if you don't. A sincere "Hi" with a smile is still good. An "Oh hey...(looks at name tag) Jill..." comes off as fake. However, if they go ahead and give you their name ("Hi, I'm Jill and I'll be your waitress this evening") then by all means go ahead and say "Hi Jill" and address her by name throughout the evening.

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#268

Post by joeclark77 »

"Shop Class as Soulcraft", by Matthew Crawford

It discusses the intrinsic characteristics of work that lead to satisfaction, growth, mastery, and ultimately happiness. The author is a PhD, worked at a think tank, and quit the white-collar life to go work on motorcycles. He discusses how white-collar work has been hollowed out, transforming "professionals" into "clerks", why so many of us "knowledge workers" feel unsatisfied with our work. The book has helped me figure out how to change my work to be more intrinsically rewarding, and as an IT developer whose technology affects other people's work, it also helps me think more about how to make the end user's life better.

Another great book along these lines is Joanne Ciulla's (2000) "The Working Life", which is a bit more academic and has less motorcycles but is nevertheless very readable.

Re: Ask HN: Books you wish you had read earlier?

#269

Post by wink »

sngz wrote: post #68
bradbatt wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie, because it changed my understanding of people for the better. Absolutely everyone should read this book. I wish it had a better title. "Understanding People" would be an excellent one.

I've seen this book recommended many times. I read a few chapters and don't feel like it was useful. Some of the stuff is obvious common sense like smile don't criticize others, be a good listener etc. Then it tells you to be genuinely interested in someone. How can you force yourself to be interested in someone? Does the book go into anything actually useful later on?

I mostly concur with your sentiment. I have read it my summary is maybe "common sense meets idyllic 1950s TV show". Maybe I'm conflating manners and superficially "nice" behaviour and a few other things, but I found many pieces of advice borderline cringeworthy.

Then again I do know I am being too honest, but that's mostly a deliberate choice and not lack of empathy. I can refrain if needed.

Added to clarify: I'm German and so some of my (our) attributed directness and terseness is apparently at odds to some American forms of communication, and if you look at the book in this light it makes more sense. Also, I'd still encourage everyone to read it, I just don't buy the awesomeness :)

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