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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

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Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#451

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> It's incredibly dangerous advice to tell someone "take drugs, despite your psychological problems" It's far more dangerous to tell people with psychological issues to avoid "drugs".

uh, how?

I think they mean legal, prescription drugs. Self-medicating or attempting to resolve mental health issues with psychedelic drugs can be very dangerous and make things much worse. I strongly advise individuals to not trust the advice of random strangers on the internet in this regard.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#452
post #411

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please do not advise people who are clearly depressed to take mushrooms. Always remember that whats an elixir for may be poison for others. Yes, mushrooms do help anxieties BUT it is also known that if you are not in a good mental state, you can have bad trip and a bad trip... is not going to be relieving any anxiety, it will make it worse. That said, maybe Microdosing is okay. I agree with all of your other points b…

There are studies that show a sub-recreational dose is beneficial for depression and for chronic headaches. I haven't met a person yet that suffers from chronic headaches that is adverse to trying a low dosage.

That said, it's always best to do it with someone who has experience, remains sober, and can guide you in a positive manner. It can be easy to become caught in a negative place, although, maybe not at a small dosage, still ill-advised, in my opinion.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#453
I don't do internet diagnoses, but before you make any career- or life-altering decisions:

You need to meet with a psychiatrist (MD) and be screened for depression.

Being Depressed doesn't feel the way you think it does, and you're throwing up several flags.

Please consider that your emotions right now might not be what you think they are, and that for mild depression (which one often sees in people in stressful life situations), very mild medications can be greatly efficacious.

Please, please take this advice seriously.

- an anonymous health care professional, who's been where you are.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#454

(source: I've twice left my own companies- both companies continued to grow and prosper after I left). Personally, I'd suck it up and get the sale done, working hard to make the price as front-loaded as possible. Depending on the buyers appetite for you to keep working there you could: A) Suggest that you're excited to stay with the business, but if they feel there'd be too many chefs in the kitchen and that you shou…

>> working hard to make the price as front-loaded as possible

This. You say the company is profitable, growing and debt-free. The sale should look more like a purchase and less like financing given the condition of the company. If you're that critical to the function of the company, then a priority should be to reduce that dependence.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succession_planning

It's a thing.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#455

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Beaches aren't for everyone. Yeah, for me it's fishing or hunting... requiring a total disengagement from technology and (most) people. Beaches are fun, but I wouldn't consider them a truly contemplative vacation unless it's some super expensive, exclusive, far away place...and like you said that's not for everyone.

Why does it have to be super expensive? The far away beaches are the cheapest ones.

If you don't account for a very expensive plane ticket sure.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#456
If the product is complicated, requiring tons of domain knowledge, but the implementation is an uninteresting, glorified CRUD app, then part of the grinding suck for you and the developers might be the mismatch between the product domain model and the software's implementation model. As an advocate of domain-driven design, this situation would make me sad, too. Happy to discuss if you're so inclined.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#457
If your wife doesn't know about this, I can easily tell that you are doing something wrong. Believe me, your wife is the only one who can help you on this and give you the power needed. A little support she would show would make you feel like a baby. People are not around just to celebrate successes, especially the partners.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#458

Agree. Suck it up, buttercup. Quitting is the only real certain way to screw up what you've built. Go find an executive coach and get yourself some help.

Flagged for arrant failure to add value to the conversation. I get that it's easy to just tear people down, and has a certain brief and nasty pleasure to it besides, but this sort of behavior helps nothing and nobody, and there is no place here for it.

Vouched because it's a legitimate response. "Suck it up" is a totally valid response to "I'm soooo successful but I'm just _booooreeeddddddd_."

"Get an executive coach" is a useful option as well.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#459

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Flagged for arrant failure to add value to the conversation. I get that it's easy to just tear people down, and has a certain brief and nasty pleasure to it besides, but this sort of behavior helps nothing and nobody, and there is no place here for it.

Vouched because it's a legitimate response. "Suck it up" is a totally valid response to "I'm soooo successful but I'm just _booooreeeddddddd_." "Get an executive coach" is a useful option as well.

Sounds to me like the man just needs someone to care for a little while, and maybe a chance to look at the world from a perspective not so intimately bound up with his troubles that he can't see past them any more. I know - who else in the world could ever empathize with that, right?

Again, I get that it's a lot easier and more fun, especially on the Internet where no one seems quite real, just to be a contemptuous asshole about it than to try to be a little kind. I've been that way myself at times, and always been ashamed of it afterward - and rightly so, I think. How you react to your own unworthy behavior is your problem, of course, not mine. But whom, really, do you imagine it helping, to choose to act this way?

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#460
post #84

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'll offer a counterpoint, as long as your management is effective there's plenty to love about those sorts of jobs. They are actually not bad at all other than the pay. No stress, no thinking, lots of moving around, no worry about the "bigger picture" as a founder must do. I've cleaned hotel rooms, stocked shelves at a discount store, worked the register at a grocery store, and unloaded trucks in a wearhouse. The on…

> No stress I've had my share of these jobs as well, and they pay terribly. Living hand-to-mouth is a stress in itself. And I had zero dependents. Being a founder is exceptionally stressful, but don't overcompensate and pretend that life as a minimum wager is carefree. The proof in the pudding is this: people don't move into these jobs if they have something else going on. Hospitality is a classic example - full of y…

What you are saying is nonsensical and objectively false. I challenge you to actually talk to these people and ask them their feelings on their job. Like any job some are happy, some hate their job, some are working until they can do something else, some are in school, some are ok where they are, some are semi-retired, some are living hand to mouth (unfortunately), some work because they want to, not because they have to, some are ambivalent​, some are lost, some are bored spouses, some are trying to find themselves, some are employed just until they start a family. Just like any other job.

Believe it or not some people don't actually believe the work is beneath them.

What you are saying is like "living without a wage is stressful, being a homemaker doesn't pay a wage, thus nobody is a homemaker if they have the ability to get a job." Of course that is totally untrue. People aren't exactly like you. Being a homemaker would be a nightmare for me - I hire a housekeeper and I absolutely hate kids. However, I can appreciate many people find enjoyment in that, just not me.

I was talking about work stress - I assume a founder of a successful startup probably has enough money in reserve to be able to take a pay cut, even if temporarily.

I know a few people in hospitality who genuinely enjoy it and have the ability to do other jobs - they just would rather not. I have a friend with an engineering degree, ended up hating engineering and tried several "good" jobs. Hated them all, always ended up back in food service. She finally made peace with the fact she really really likes doing food service and that's what she decided to do permanently. Another friend got a business degree, hated being in the business field, though it was too cut throat, didn't like what the felt she had to do to get ahead. Decided to dedicate her life to non-profits for a fraction of the salary she could get anywhere else but feels it's worth it. I know a guy in his 50s who washes dishes 5 days a week. He gave up his cushy office job to do that. He said office work was getting him down and he has enough money to take the pay cut. My aunt cleans offices for a living, enjoys doing so, doesn't want to do anything else. Shes an immagrant and her husband owns a very successful business. She has absolutely no monetary need to work yet she still cleans offices at night. My mom's best friend works at Kohl's, no need to, just wants to, gave up a (State) government position to do so.

I truly enjoyed most "low skilled" work I did. I also enjoy being a programmer, for the most part. There's a lot I miss about the old days though. The pay isn't one of them, of course. I really miss moving around heavy objects, oddly enough, as unusual as that may sound. Just doing so for the hell of it (gym excersing) is incredibly unappealing to me - I enjoy seeing the fruits of my labor. I don't want to sit there lifting meaningless weight, I want to be moving objects from one location to the other and have some sort of satisfaction afterwards that I met a business objective and earned my salary.

Right now I'm programmer until I can afford not to be. Programming for me is only a means to an end, to be financially independent/semi retired. I sound like someone unhappy but I actually enjoy programming, just not as much as physical labor.

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