Take a holiday dude, get someone to cover for you.
Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
361–370 of 527 posts
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#362You are overvaluating the wallmart job and thinking it "seems" stress free. The truth is that if you want to do anything at a very competitive level, even packaging goods at the counter, it WILL be stressful.
You could also stop stressing: don't answer the calls, let your business slide and go bankrupt.
Running a business is no easy feat. As you've got that far, you probably know that. You are likely tired because of it, which is normal, everybody gets tired and there's nothing wrong with you or your business.
I think what you need is to perhaps promote someone or get a friend to help you. I don't see how a domain can be so insanely complex and out of reality for everyone. You probably just need someone and that someone to spend enough time with you.
My point with stress is that I don't necessarily own a business anymore and never had as much success as you doing that, I'm not about to cash in some big money which would allow me to follow other passions I have. After some failed startups, I work for a big business and the only thing that changed was the job "security". Instead of having to look for a new job every year or so, now I don't anymore, but it's stressful: I want to do my best.
The same happens when I try to play the guitar, I get also tired, stressed out. Then I give it a pause. As with a business or work, you can't pause, but you can always ask for help.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#363Why do you think you only have 2 options?
Suck it up, get the sale done (especially when you're so close to improving the lives of your other founders) then take a vacation and recharge.
If you need to quit at that point then do so, but at least you're not taking the rest of the team with you. Would you feel ok if they did the same to you? You signed up for a team sport, hold the line and finish the job.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#364Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is interesting. What part of running a startup sounds like a dream?
Being able to make choices, determine the best path of action, and (if you work hard enough) make something great. Right now the best things I make are balloons (but I do have some fun side-projects).
Sounds to me like you're in a good opportunity to start your own start up. I might be being a bit presumptuous here but it seems like you have undemanding job but one that pays the bills none the less, this is a perfect time to begin working on your own business as long as there aren't any contractual difficulties.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#365There's a lot of hyperfocusing on the comment that you don't want your wife to know. From everyone on HN, you're the best judge of whether she should know or not, so I have no choice but to trust your judgment on that.
Something I find missing from your narrative is what exactly is making you unhappy -- the title of Founder? The pressure of the job and the impending sale? The mundane-ness of the technical details of the job? The fate of being handcuffed to this job (that you don't care for) after the sale? Are you financially constrained and feel tethered to the company to stay afloat? You mention the stress, but it doesn't sound like that's the kicker by itself. There's no magic bullet to fix all your worries in one go. So write down in order which parts of the whole situation you hate. You'd be surprised how many of those can be solved independently of the others. Maybe you can hire a personal assistant to sort through all your communications and scheduling and logistics, and can filter out the domain-knowledge-needed parts to you. Perhaps you can invest in transitioning various boring technical portions of your product to be outsource-able, so your in-house developers have only the more fun stuff to worry about. Consider the best and worst case outcomes for each of these options. Check the risk. Some of them will be worth it, some not. If you can improve your situation even a little bit, it's a step forward.
I can relate to some of what you say. Luckily my cofounders are wonderful and take responsibility for lot of the shitty parts of the job of running a company, so I have a fun time mostly gallivanting in technical and product design spaces without stressing out much, and we're profitable and bootstrapped. All in all, my job doesn't really stress me out much, I work with great people, I love our product, I have lots of freedom and make enough money to use it to work out of a different country every other month. It sounds pretty great, but I have shared your fantasy of working as a grocery bagger or as a Starbucks barista or something. For me it's because I am in America on a work visa that won't allow me to be employed outside of my field of expertise and study, ie, engineering. So I fantasize about what I can't have, think how cool it would be to have the freedom to be an uber driver or a waiter or just simply be unemployed before I look for a new opportunity, even for just a month, without the threat of violating my visa agreement and risk deportation. A little reality check reminds me that I have these fantasies from a position of privilege -- all those people who's jobs I envy do not have the right, or freedom, or training to start and run a company building something they care about in the first place, and I happily return to my day job.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#366Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on. Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours d…
To retain some faith in humanity I will read this as sarcasm.
I wish the world was as I was told when I was a kid and not the way it is. Some of the main reasons (statistically) why wives divorce their husbands in the US are unemployment of husband and higher earnings of wife. This should tell you there is some biological programming that is different between genders regardless of what is currently popular in soft-science academia.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#367Lol @ the people saying tell the wife that'll only make things worse. Bottom line you're a weak person and this depressive episode will destroy everything you've built. A strong person wouldn't cry in the shower for an hour or consider asking a woman for help. Sincerely not trying to shit on you or your situation but this is the real underlying problem. My advice would be therapy and prescription drugs. A weak person…
This is such a vile personal attack that we've banned not only this account but your main one as well.
If you don't want to be banned, you're welcome to email hn@ycombinator.com and give us reason to believe you'll follow the rules in the future.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#368I mean, it's hard to truly know what somebody else is experiencing and to give advice in a situation like that. But if you're that close to an acquisition and if the acquistion stands to make a material difference in your life going forward (like, does it get you to "fu money"), then I'd lean towards "suck it up and stay long enough to cash out". OTOH, if the acquisition gets you, say, enough money for a new car, but…
I'd say it's not fu money. We're talking total deal size of I do think I'd regret not following through, you're right. The question is whether that regret is worse than multiple years of hating work. I guess I'm probably the only one who can answer that. I just took a week off and went out of town. Although everyone did manage to leave me alone while I was gone, people tried to do my job because they didn't want to k…
If you can find a way to live on a salary of $300k per year, then ~$10M is definitely FU money. You can invest that money and safely withdraw 3% for the rest of your life.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#369May be a stupid question but: can you suck it up until the acquisition goes through, take the money, leave, and try bagging stuff at a grocery store for a few months? Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years?
> Does the acquisition involves you signing a contract and being forced to stick around for a few years? Yes they range from 3 to 5 years, with much of the compensation coming from future earnings.
Try to negotiate a clean break for 30% of what you were going to get, and find someone to replace you.
Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore
#370I have made a hook in my coder life as a mover.
PRO: It was indeed a breeze and stress free. CON: without social help or illegal secondary activities you don't earn enough to sustain your life (pay rents, food, clothing and that's all).
But, it has been the moment of my life I was the happiest to work everyday.
Maybe that's how you could make a vacation. It helps you forget everything about the business brain washing that is strong in the IT, it clears your head of the noise, and you might come back more efficient, and retaining more employees by sharing their day to day concern of working to make a living and not living to work.
My take is simple, life is too short to not try to live some of your fantasies, some may actually prove to be fruitful.
Simply remember that there is no success in trying if you don't accept you also may fail and be disappointed.
I was lucky, may you be lucky.