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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

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Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#341

Post by AstralStorm »

scottbartell wrote: post #327
scottbartell wrote: post #283

Are you familiar with the concept of the False dilemma[0]? It seems as if you've limited yourself to an "either/or" situation when in fact there are countless other possible solutions to this problem. Here are some possible alternatives: - find a leadership coach and/or mentor - delegate the parts of your job that you like the least - find a way to reduce stress in your life (exercise, hobby, etc) - try professional…

As you make your decision, you might want to consider applying the WARP decision framework from Decisive by Chip & Dan Heath[0]: 1. Widen your options 2. Reality-test your assumptions 3. Attain distance before deciding 4. Prepare to be wrong The heath brothers offer a useful workbook[1] that goes into details for each of these steps. It might be worthwhile to go through it as you decide. [0] http://heathbrothers.com/…

The problem with reality testing is that reality tends to exclude options permanently while testing.

Unless by reality testing you mean testing tour perception and prediction against perception and prediction of reality that is.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#342

Post by soft_dev_person »

bitL wrote: post #338

Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on. Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours d…

To retain some faith in humanity I will read this as sarcasm.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#343

Post by voidz »

gallerdude wrote: post #203
sanderjd wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is interesting. What part of running a startup sounds like a dream?

Being able to make choices, determine the best path of action, and (if you work hard enough) make something great. Right now the best things I make are balloons (but I do have some fun side-projects).

I have to say it does sound very Zen, balloon making. In life, I have found that the trick is not about how to keep the mind busy, but about how, how often, and when to get it at ease.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#344

Post by dang »

lemonsqueeze wrote: post #206

Do not talk it over with your wife. It won't go well. And if it does.... she will see you as weak and eventually leave you (80% of marriages are terminated by the woman) You are the captain and you can rely on the people for support like your family and close friends. You tell her what you decided, and act like it's no big deal to you and she won't think it's a big deal either. If she does act like it's a big deal, t…

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14420786 and marked it off-topic.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#346

Post by dang »

cheez wrote: post #184

> First, talk this over with your wife. She deserves to know what's going on with you and you need her counsel and strength. Only if she's the type. Many women, for better or worse, will NOT be happy to hear this and will silently freak out, assuming the worst.

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14420786 and marked it off-topic.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#347

Post by disiplus »

johndotsun wrote: post #273
dsacco wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have two issues with this comment. First of all, the OP just described very serious signs of burnout and stress, but the top comment (this one as of this writing) isn't helpful - you are using the OP's raw discussion of their current emotional state to condemn a faceless portion of society for their privilege to not have to work blue collar jobs. You nitpicked the fact that the OP admitted wishful ideation about jo…

While retail work was a very simple work environment as you state, I found it to be an experience in misery. it may be simple but dealing day to day with the coworkers and managers in those environment was pure hell. If my only option in life was to work retail, factory, or construction I would kill myself today before going back to that type of work. Have you ever had an assistant manager in her mid 30s shout at you…

i dont get it. i worked in factory during summer. while it gets boring, you dont have stress, and after you have finished your work you go home and dont think about your work.

i probably could not work it long time, but if you are stressing in that line of work its you not the job.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#348

Post by dang »

bitL wrote: post #338

Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on. Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours d…

You can't know any of that about a person you've never met, which makes this comment generic. Generic plus inflammatory equals trolling. Please don't post like that here.

We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14420786 and marked it off-topic.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#349

Post by jwdunne »

bitL wrote: post #338

Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on. Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours d…

That's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard about marriage.

In a solid, loving, marriage, your wife will resent you for not being open and honest. She's meant to be your best friend. She wants to be there for you as much as you are for her.

My Mrs has cried before now because I've not let her in on my hard times, my pain. She was devastated​ to know what I was going through alone. She assumed I'd closed up because I didn't care, I didn't love her anymore.

Yeah take the latter advice but if you want a happy life don't take the former. This will not lead to a happy marriage, which is, if good, the biggest source of happiness you can get.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#350

Post by pheuberger »

bitL wrote: post #338

Don't talk to your wife about it, you'll show her a weakness, she will start subconsciously resent you, become colder and distant and your stress will double. She has you as her rock, she doesn't want a weak man to rely on. Start instead some sport, take care of your body (try sauna + cold baths together), eat brain-boosting supplements, kick out sugar/flour-based food for a month, switch your phone off for 4 hours d…

What an awful recommendation. Thank god the world isn't as stereotypical as you paint it where women need a strong man.

@OP Your wife is there to support you and vice versa. Talk to her. She might be able to give you the emotional support you need. Certainly better than people on the internets.

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