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Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

mikecanex.wordpress.com

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Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#71

On a related note is "reasonable". In English this word is routinely abused. I consider it a huge red flag. "4+4=11" "No, 4+4=8" "Oh, c'mon, Joe, don't be difficult." "4 and 4 is 8, 11 isn't correct. "Be reasonable here. OK, let's compromise on 9.5, OK?"

This comparison falls apart the moment you're talking about matters of moral, conscience, or basically anything that doesn't have an epistemologically solid answer.

People can debate these issues, arrive at different answers, and still get along at the end of the day.

When those issues are compared to math, where one side is automatically Right and the other side is automatically Wrong and you are Unreasonable if you don't agree... not so much.

A part of being a reasonable person is recognizing this and understanding that the process you went through to arrive at the opinion you hold is not even a little bit comparable to the rigor and certainty of the answer to a child's math problem. The comparison is inherently dishonest.

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#72
This rings a bit hollow to me, kind of reminds of "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" -- a moral play, a fictional story passed off as autobiographical. Aimed to enforce our self-doubting instinct that we are somehow being a chump and letting society take advantage of us. Taking this literally is a path to regrets.

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#73
post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

His entire lecture series, which is available on his youtube channel, is absolutely fantastic and worth every minute. It is probably one of the most engaging and enlightening bodies of work I have experienced in any format.

Can you point me to the videos that you found enlightening?

I would recommend starting with the 2017 semester of his Maps of Meaning course. The first topic is a discussion of the themes and philosophy of the story of Pinocchio. It's really good.

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL22J3VaeABQAT-0aSPq-OK...

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The idea in the article was that the competition was "imaginary" as in the salesman across the street didn't bother to try to do everything for everyone correct? Maybe the lesson is more about ignoring what others might be doing and focusing on what you need to do for success yourself. EDIT: mistake was as suggested below.

"lesson is more about what others might be doing" You mean less, right?

Alternately the word "ignoring" might have been mistakenly omitted:

> "the lesson is more about ignoring what others might be doing and focusing on what you need to do for success yourself"

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#76
> “You are thirty-five years old,” I said to myself. “More than half of your life has already been spent. Who is living your life, anyway? Is it actually yours? Or is it a kind of public storehouse of odd jobs? A pile of days and hours put on the counter of the world with a sign inviting every Tom, Dick, and Harry to take one?”

This was probably the best part for me. We have longer life spans and so we trick ourselves into thinking that we have more time to waste on things we don't really want to do. We can procrastinate all we want but in the end, we still come back to this question without a single clue of how to answer it.

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#77

When you're trying that hard to please every trivial whim of anyone, regardless of the cost to yourself: what are you compensating? Who hurt you? Who lied to you? I mean, there's gotta be something that made you rate the approval by others so highly, and your approval of others so unimportant. Something or someone that stole you from you. Would you take 2 weeks of the life of one person to save another person 5 minut…

Unsure why you're being downvoted; this is one of the best comments on the thread (and I remember this story from the last time it was posted).

You might say abuse breeds abuse in that someone who for some reason is playing doormat is emitting pheromones for people who like to trample on others.

This is absolutely true. Perhaps some readers were confused by your metaphorical use of 'pheromones' to mean signalling in general. A great example of this is griefing behavior in MMORPGs (and trolling in general, but in games it's already quantified and thus far easier to measure). Most games implement some sort of safe zone and/or NPC policing function to prevent griefers from hassling new players to the point of wrecking the game, which is the griefers' underlying and often unconscious objective (so as to 'own' the territory of the game space even if this is poisonous to the growth of the player pool).

Denied the ability to pick on newbies, griefers then usually collect in small packs and lurk around entry-exit routes to danger zones (whether from NPCs or territorial conflict) where there's a possibility to target outcoming damaged players or incoming ones pushing up against their skill envelope. Griefers like to think of themselves as apex predators, but typically lack the self-discipline and strategic vision required to organize as such, so more often than not they occupy the same environmental as scavengers such as hyenas, vultures etc.

I haven't kept up with the latest research on this, but I recall that EVE had an economist on staff several years ago and I'd imagine that the larger participants in that market are open to or already working with sociologists, game theorists, and other quantitative social scientists to better understand the dynamics of their virtual ecosystem.

For 'nice' players (in games and in life) who don't comfortably slot into large teams, the usual advice is to be more of an asshole. And while that's partly true, being an armored up lone wolf will only take you so far. Unless the system as a whole is dysfunctional, individual lone wolves are never competitive against anything bigger than a small-medium team. However, lone wolves can team up and be very effective; to do so they (obviously) have to overcome significant trust barriers, but can succeed by maintaining smallish flat structures and growing hierarchies below those.

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#79
post #34
post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not that far off: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy#/media/File:Li...

Almost all decent places to live in the world have an average male life expectancy of over 70 years!

This isn't an argument worth having.

Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)

#80
post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Almost all decent places to live in the world have an average male life expectancy of over 70 years!

ok then... "You're 38, half your life is behind you already"

Nitpick: The chart you responded to set out life expectancy at birth. If you're 38, your remaining life expectancy is non unsignificantly higher.
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