Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
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Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
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Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#2"People never trust an accommodating man with important things. That may sound harsh and cynical, but check it up in your own experience. If you have a severe illness, for example, you turn to the busiest, most exacting doctor in town. The fact that he is busy and can’t be bothered by little things gives you confidence in his ability and judgment."
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#3Could be observing effect rather than cause. People that are very good at get a lot of business. Which cuts into the time you have to be accommodating.
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#4I'm going through this change right now.
Some words of hard earned "wisdom": make sure the pendulum doesn't swing too far out in the other direction.
I went from being an accommodating person to an intense asshole - trying to dial it back now but it's hard, especially when you notice that people definitely respect you more for good or bad reasons when you're like that. Take it too far though, and it will of course go all the way around and bite you in the ass.
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#5To summarize the entirety of the lesson: Sometimes saying "no" is better than saying "yes". By saying "no" you give time otherwise wasted to things that are beneficial to yourself. When and how you decide to say "no" should be based on whether the person that is requesting is perfectly capable of doing the task themselves according to the nature of the article.
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#6Old submission with more comments here:
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#7I'm going through this change right now. Some words of hard earned "wisdom": make sure the pendulum doesn't swing too far out in the other direction. I went from being an accommodating person to an intense asshole - trying to dial it back now but it's hard, especially when you notice that people definitely respect you more for good or bad reasons when you're like that. Take it too far though, and it will of course go…
There's a great 5 minute clip of the clinical psychologist and professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson talking about the dangers of being too agreeable:
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#8I'm going through this change right now. Some words of hard earned "wisdom": make sure the pendulum doesn't swing too far out in the other direction. I went from being an accommodating person to an intense asshole - trying to dial it back now but it's hard, especially when you notice that people definitely respect you more for good or bad reasons when you're like that. Take it too far though, and it will of course go…
the trick is to finely calibrate your bullshit meter through life experiences.
what people tend to respect innately is a genuinely nice person who can instantly turn into a no-holds-barred asshole if bad intentions are detected.
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#9[deleted]
Re: Why I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#10I'm going through this change right now. Some words of hard earned "wisdom": make sure the pendulum doesn't swing too far out in the other direction. I went from being an accommodating person to an intense asshole - trying to dial it back now but it's hard, especially when you notice that people definitely respect you more for good or bad reasons when you're like that. Take it too far though, and it will of course go…
the trick is to finely calibrate your bullshit meter through life experiences. what people tend to respect innately is a genuinely nice person who can instantly turn into a no-holds-barred asshole if bad intentions are detected.
For many people, it's not about detecting someone with bad intentions. It's about not liking conflict so much that they don't know how not to accommodate by default. Over accommodation of a good person you're close with can be just as detrimental as over accommodation of a shitty person.