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Recovering from Burnout and Depression

kierantie.com

231–240 of 266 posts

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#231
post #15

I think a big factor in burnout is that most work is ultimately meaningless, or even morally wrong, and on a deep level, we're aware of that. Why is it so hard to make yourself work? Probably because you actually should be doing something else with your life. If someone paid you money to kick a dog, you'd feel a strong urge to do something else. That's because you shouldn't kick dogs. But when we feel the same urge t…

"If someone paid you money to kick a dog, you'd feel a strong urge to do something else."

Truth.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most high-level goals that I've seen people have amount to what I call "winning the gauntlet". Making a lot of money, founding a big company, achieving fame, finding a high-profile SO, etc. Statistically, those goals will not be achieved by a given person, and not only that, but they effectively amount to "have it better than someone else", i.e., they're zero-sum. Goals like these seem reasonable to people when they…

>A broad non-status goal wouldn't fit that paradigm. It is likely to be overwhelming and require a lot of people, or, on the other hand, be fairly straightforward and missed because it's not prestigious. I think you have it here. There are some very simple, very natural things that can fulfill most of the average individual's basic yearnings, but they're overlooked today, they're regarded as passe or even backwards.…

Are you serious? It's the very opposite.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#233
Software engineer here. I've been working on meaningless and emotionally unrewarding project for the last 2 years. Running burnout self-tests this morning yielded me the second most critical level, but still worthy of "act immediately" or "seek medical attention". I feel pretty down and my dayjob is meaningless to me.

I'm considering taking a sick leave till the end of my contract next month, and am wondering this:

If burnout is caused by lack of emotional reward and lack of giving a f*ck, should i pick up a sideproject I've committed to that i kind of care about instead, and think is interesting? Or ditch that as well and just take rest/go travel? Can i still work while recovering? What's a good workload?

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#234
This article really resonates with me. I burned out badly around 2 years ago and have still not recovered. 2 years. Although it's probably exacerbated by pre-existing chronic depression in my case.

It's cost me so much. My friends, who I've all alienated. My general physical health, which is the worst it's ever been in my adult life. Strained family relationships. Gaining a reputation for being 'unreliable'.

If you notice that feeling of exhaustion/frustration creeping up on you, even though objectively what you're doing shouldn't be that strenuous, stop. Stop right there and take a long break. Don't tell yourself "I'll just close out this project and then take a break". Just stop. The extra couple of months of work you might be able to force out of yourself are not worth the years of hell that may follow.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#235
post #15

I think a big factor in burnout is that most work is ultimately meaningless, or even morally wrong, and on a deep level, we're aware of that. Why is it so hard to make yourself work? Probably because you actually should be doing something else with your life. If someone paid you money to kick a dog, you'd feel a strong urge to do something else. That's because you shouldn't kick dogs. But when we feel the same urge t…

Most your points resonate with me but in my experience a large part of it has to do with perspective. I [believe] I'm in the latter stages of burnout and while very anxiety-inducing, it's been a great learning and worthwhile experience so far. For context, I started coding when I was 13 (I'm 29), studied CS, and never had any job outside of software engineering – got started undercutting outsourcers on Elance as a te…

Did you throw your stuff in store before you started moving around to other cities? Or did you sell everything and say 'Tabula Rasa! clean slate!'.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#236

One of my favourite quotes from Edward Sapir (known for Sapir-Whorf hypothesis): The major activities of the individual must directly satisfy his own creative and emotional impulses, must always be something more than means to an end. The great cultural fallacy of industrialism, as developed up to the present time, is that in harnessing machines to our uses it has not known how to avoid the harnessing of the majority…

Yet this is one of the central business models of Silicon Valley: build a software apparatus, hire "interchangeable" women to take care of the human side of it, pay them "market rates" which for women's work means "the lowest acceptable wage for at least one woman in the social class your customers expect" (they're interchangeable, any woman could follow the script. The hard part is building The Apparatus that tells…

What is this SV software company role that is filled exclusively by underpaid women? I'm trying to think of what you might be referring to, but honestly have no idea.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#237
post #123

Very interesting and very nicely written! I was thinking about this myself lately ( https://medium.com/@yansh/who-do-you-want-to-be-in-life-ca8f... ).. I think the advice to slow down, take a break, refocus is key to figuring things out, however, not everyone can afford to do so. It's a risk, and there is always a trade off. So I wouldn't frame the article as a guide, because it's different for everyone.

> however, not everyone can afford to do so So start saving. This was actually my biggest takeaway from the article. The couple had more than 6 months of living costs stashed away, which I think is a very good idea.

yes, a great advice but might not be a viable option for everyone.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#238
post #30

I can totally relate to this. I experienced this after working steadily 4 years and then having a close friend pass unexpectedly. Suddenly everything I was spending all my time on felt like a waste of time. Now, almost two years later I'm doing better and even looking to work in a non-remote scenario. I think it's great to be on the lookout for signs of burnout, but on the other hand it's equally important to use our…

Your situation is eerily similar to mine. I lost my best friend in 2015. I was already pretty overworked and stressed out at my job, but after his death my brain was just broken. I had no drive, ambition, or focus. My shrink has been instrumental in the recovery process.

Having said that, rebuilding your life post-burnout/depression can be an overwhelming at times. It's helped me to just focus on making one thing better each day, no matter how small the task. Forward momentum is the key ingredient to a come back. Good luck and Godspeed!

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#239

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is one of my big problems with the idea of money being so separated from actual good these days. It also creates huge wealth gaps, and I have no idea what could be done to re-align it. Basically, I believe that the concept of money as it exists today is deeply broken and should be aligned with something which benefits humans vs something which is required in small to moderate quantities to not suffer yet which p…

Money is very broken currently. "By a continuing process of inflation, governments can confiscate, secretly and unobserved, an important part of the wealth of their citizens. By this method, they not only confiscate, but they confiscate arbitrarily; and, while the process impoverishes many, it actually enriches some. The sight of this arbitrary rearrangement of riches strikes not only at security, but at confidence i…

> stealing from the poor and giving to the rich via inflation

Inflation is a tax on assets. Isn't that the exact opposite of taking from the poor?

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#240
post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I mean... but you do. You just said that if you keep asking, you end up with a "nihilist" view and descend into meaningless. So your overall philosophy right now is that form of "nihilism". That is, after all, why you do not find the value in asking "why". I strongly disagree with that and I believe this kind of thinking is not actually as logical or as rational as you were lead to believe, and properly asking the wh…

My understanding was that the whole point of going with the flow is to avoid thinking too much.

It's the path of least resistance, that's why people do it, there isn't some greater "point" to it. But it leaves you at the mercy of someone else. Choose the someone else carefully, as I haven't really seen good candidates lately...
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