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Recovering from Burnout and Depression

kierantie.com

91–100 of 266 posts

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#91

Hey everyone - thanks so much for reading! Burnout and depression is a topic that not enough of us talk about, even though that's often the best solution. If you know anyone struggling with burnout or depression, or you just enjoyed my article, I'd be forever grateful if you'd share it with them on Twitter or Facebook, to help spread the word. Thanks so much!

> Burnout and depression is a topic that not enough of us talk about You know, I get what you're saying, but I actually need to stop you here. Because honestly, we can't go two weeks without a post hitting the front page about someone's personal come-to-Jesus moment about burnout. We do talk about burnout and depression, a lot . And nobody learns. Nobody learns and I don't think anyone will learn. In the 20 years I'v…

Maybe its not so much that nobody learns, but that its something that is generally best learned through experience. Its hard to self assess and self deception is easy. So society keeps repeating the same mistakes, even though those who have experienced and learned from it are actually talking about it.

To me it seems much more like a societal/systemic problem - one that will not be easy to fix, especially with the increasing inequality and rise of automation. The demand for achievement and lifestyle upheld by society as something worthwhile to strive for (for happiness, fulfilment, recognition etc), just perpetuates the cycle and will be become harder to attain.

What are those to think/do who did not reach what society taught them they should want and have to be happy and fulfilled? These people put the effort in, but get nothing back. They get burnt out and depressed and even though they later talk about it, others cant understand as they don't have perspective and/or don't think it will happen to them. They are too busy burning themselves out chasing the goal.

I don't think there is a solution that doesn't involve a radical shift in society and work/life balance.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I'm sure there are a few causes of depression and contextual life events and personalities for which LSD might be useful, it's downright irresponsible to suggest that "if any reader" suffers from depression he should turn to narcotics.

I'm not saying I have the study to show that LSD can help with any depression, but do you have any evidence that it only helps with certain kinds? (I know, burden of proof is on me) The reason my advice isn't irresponsible is because microdosing LSD has no downsides. If it doesn't work, nothing breaks. Try something else then. Depression is a real life-killer, and if 10 people tried my advice, and this worked for onl…

Even if it could help them, there are risks[0], and in most jurisdictions, LSD is a highly restricted drug which doctors cannot prescribe therapeutically, so there is no guarantee of dose or purity. People with severe depression who would entertain this seriously are already prone to impulsive behavior and cognitive difficulties. The suggestion is irresponsible.

[0] https://medlineplus.gov/ency/patientinstructions/000795.htm

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#93

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most people are not driven really, so this advice won't work for them.

The lack of drive is itself the issue, though.

Why? Why should everyone by driven/obsessed? Most people are fine doing the minimum that is required to maintain their desired lifestyle level.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#94
post #2

Why do I never read articles targeted at other high-stress jobs (lawyer, med student, etc etc)? Do software engineers have a unique culture that identifies this danger? Or are we the only ones that get burned out, maybe because of some self-selection into the field?

I would say the alienation of the worker from their product is the most clear in programming jobs for companies. All these hours of code crafting, while having no control over the design-and-production protocol and getting only a part of exchange value and no recognition - while IT nowadays is one of the most important intellectual labour that keeps a business running. Meanwhile, the work of med students and lawyers still offer emotional connections with other people and are often seen as virtuous professions.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I submit that the working person greatly benefits from having a strongly held, over-arching life goal. Then even if he or she is working a soul-draining job for, say, a social media company, they will be content knowing it is a necessary step towards their goal.

What do you mean by "goals"? I've met too many people hopelessly throwing themselves against a wall trying to "achieve their dreams"... they see themselves as a Hollywood-esque main character, either aiming unrealistically high or shooting for mundane gimmes. Without a broader vision, those that pick reasonably scoped goals may still end up depressed by their small wins that add up to nothing. Modern mss media and im…

Most high-level goals that I've seen people have amount to what I call "winning the gauntlet". Making a lot of money, founding a big company, achieving fame, finding a high-profile SO, etc. Statistically, those goals will not be achieved by a given person, and not only that, but they effectively amount to "have it better than someone else", i.e., they're zero-sum.

Goals like these seem reasonable to people when they surround themselves with "haves", so they are not exposed to the serious problem of the "have-nots" that have to exist for the "haves" to exist. One can be reasonably happy in this state as long as they dodge the cognitive dissonance, or if they just think this is a good model.

This works neither for people who care about the world nor those who are "have-nots". Which is most people. So most people end up unhappy while reading self-books (if they even have enough agency for that) from the "haves" and trying to figure out what's going on. But nothing is going on, the situation is zero-sum, so there will always be someone in a bad state in the current system. The only thing that changes is who.

The gauntlet cannot be completely ignored because it is necessary for basic agency. But in some cases, the agency is already there, and the person can begin defining their own vision, but they still continue chasing the zero-sum goals due to pressure.

Even if you try to develop your own vision things can get strange.

> our limited and unknown budget of time is constantly burning away.

Well, there are 6+ billion people in the world, and, on average, they have a similar budget. Why the sense of urgency? What is it that is so important that only you personally can do it? It would be very strange if the world was filled with these super important goals for each person that were conveniently person-lifetime sized, but it often feels to me like that's the perception. This often ends up back at the zero-sum issue, in the sense of "lots of people can do this, but I need to be the one to do it". It's thinly veiled status-seeking all over again, which is why it fits so well since in a competitive environment, the goal IS person-lifetime sized.

A broad non-status goal wouldn't fit that paradigm. It is likely to be overwhelming and require a lot of people, or, on the other hand, be fairly straightforward and missed because it's not prestigious. But people find themselves in these insurmountable goals and feel like they need to do so much work, that brings other questions. Why them? What is everyone else doing?

On a certain level, I think most people seek vision that fulfills subconscious nags they may have, and that's the primary reason they seek it. Things in the region of "am I doing something with my life" or "am I a good person". There isn't an actual vision higher level than that, so once those nags are satisfied, the person will stop asking. But this is just chasing the gauntlet in another way.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#96
I want to highlight something that the article touched on, which for me, was a big source of burnout.

"Breakdown of community"

This can happen if you work remotely, or work in-office with a team that isn't collaborating effectively. If the work you do is isolating and you rarely collaborate with others, you may suffer burnout.

At our core we all want to feel like we're part of something bigger than ourselves. Being part of a team, even if it's as contrived as an office team is, can still be surprisingly important for ones mental health.

If you're feeling burned out consider if a lack of engagement with your peers could be a contributor.

That's my 0.02 at least.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While I'm sure there are a few causes of depression and contextual life events and personalities for which LSD might be useful, it's downright irresponsible to suggest that "if any reader" suffers from depression he should turn to narcotics.

I'm not saying I have the study to show that LSD can help with any depression, but do you have any evidence that it only helps with certain kinds? (I know, burden of proof is on me) The reason my advice isn't irresponsible is because microdosing LSD has no downsides. If it doesn't work, nothing breaks. Try something else then. Depression is a real life-killer, and if 10 people tried my advice, and this worked for onl…

You might as well suggest a sugar pill, then.

There are downsides to LSD. Illegality is probably the biggest. Here's a self-study showing micro-dosing is pointless (for the person) and possibly has harmful trends: https://www.gwern.net/LSD%20microdosing

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#98
post #2

Why do I never read articles targeted at other high-stress jobs (lawyer, med student, etc etc)? Do software engineers have a unique culture that identifies this danger? Or are we the only ones that get burned out, maybe because of some self-selection into the field?

Well, I suspect part of the reason is that HN often shows articles targeted to software engineers.

I also think there is another reason that has been alluded to else where in the comments indirectly: ownership/autonomy. Compared to the other high-skill professions that you mention, software engineering in my opinion is bogged by a near-constant effort to belittle, control, and process-ify the work that we do. Some might enjoy the semblance of order it might bring to their day but it makes me retch. I always found it darkly amusing that a failure on the part of product or management to better predict the market or customer requirements somehow translated into more soul-sucking metrics and process for the development team, enforced by highly-unpleasant PMs who I wish would instead have followed their true calling in life and become serial killers.

I left significant RSUs and took a huge pay cut to get away from a large company that I felt was killing me slowly. I am not saying that I have arrived yet but I haven't had to go through a suck-filled daily standup in a few years and I am very grateful for that.

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The lack of drive is itself the issue, though.

Why? Why should everyone by driven/obsessed? Most people are fine doing the minimum that is required to maintain their desired lifestyle level.

Well, remember the start of this conversation:

crush-n-spread: > I submit that the working person greatly benefits from having a strongly held, over-arching life goal.

I believe having a strong over-arching goal is very helpful for a person (working or otherwise). Helpful in the sense that it can offset certain problems or give the person better tools for working around/through them (i.e., depression, burnout, purposelessness, general decision making).

I don't think this is the same thing as ambition or obsession, although many people do turn that into their drive and I think that's fairly dangerous (the thing one is obsessed about may not work out).

I wouldn't really agree that most people are "fine" in some general sense, nor do most people typically subsist without any kind of life goal (religion is popular).

Re: Recovering from Burnout and Depression

#100

I burned out three times in salaried jobs. Mostly due to chaotic leadership. Hard work isn't the problem. Chaos and bad leadership is the problem. Moved to contracting, and have been fine since.

how is that? i find that chaos and bad leadership still has a huge impact on my perception of my job and my ability to make progress as a contractor.

its just alot easier to shrug and cash the check. and spend as much of the rest of your time doing things you think are worthwhile.

ideally as a contractor i could choose to apply myself at places which were better organized and more engaging, its just they aren't as interested in contractors and its hard enough keeping yourself in jobs without firing all* the lousy customers.

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