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Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

nytimes.com

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Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#131

Post by sdrothrock »

pradn wrote: post #59
sarcasmic wrote: post #53

As my Facebook cohort aged up into their mid-20s, my feed is all baby photos and overchurned memes that have been re-shared across 5 different sites, interspersed with relentless posts from artists I forgot I liked long ago, and ads that are trying hard to be local. Its utility is increasingly not defined by the Feed, but by being a contact list of Everyone You Ever Met Who You Don't Want To Unfriend, which has some…

I rarely post on Facebook any more. Finding something agreeable to all my friends and family and still being authentic to myself is hard, and a losing game. Instagram can be made into something that is not just a mirror of your Facebook. If there's little difference between the two, you end up with the same problems - FOMO, envy, self-loathing. Instead, if you follow artists/photographers/creatives, you can find an i…

> I rarely post on Facebook any more. Finding something agreeable to all my friends and family and still being authentic to myself is hard, and a losing game.

This is my primary issue with Facebook and one of the reasons I stopped using it. It's fine while you have a tight social circle, but once you have several social circles on Facebook, it's very difficult to navigate those kinds of tastes, whereas in real life it's never really an issue because the people never meet.

As another poster said, Facebook is most useful as a collection of contacts, but that usefulness is constantly at war with being able to express yourself.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#132

Post by tim333 »

0xfaded wrote: post #90

Facebook makes me miserable because it has become the defacto medium for social communication. When decent alternatives arrive offering end to end encryption, Facebook goes and buys them. Say what you will, but WhatsApp/Messenger usage statistics correlated with Facebook usage statistics of less privacy conscious contacts can still paint a pretty damn good picture (read marketing profile). You literally can't use any…

>You literally can't use any popular (digital) communication methods without opening yourself to advertisers...

I use uBlock origin for general stuff and FB Purity for Facebook (laptop use). I see roughly zero ads. I donated a bit to the FB Purity guy - It was a noticeable improvement to my life.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#133

Post by msutherl »

AlexMuir wrote: post #3

I'm not sure where I read this suggestion, but a couple of months ago I unfollowed everyone on FB. Now my newsfeed is basically empty - and my Facebook experience is much improved. I highly recommend it.

I did this a few years ago and haven't looked back.

I had the issue where I was suddenly following everyone again on one occasion (years ago), but since I've unfollowed everyone again, I haven't had any issues.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#134

Post by msutherl »

trevyn wrote: post #10
AlexMuir wrote: post #3

I'm not sure where I read this suggestion, but a couple of months ago I unfollowed everyone on FB. Now my newsfeed is basically empty - and my Facebook experience is much improved. I highly recommend it.

What is your Facebook experience now? Just Messenger?

Just Messenger, Events when I'm invited to them, occasionally being tagged in a post, and a couple of groups.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#136

Post by Inconel »

sdrothrock wrote: post #131
pradn wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I rarely post on Facebook any more. Finding something agreeable to all my friends and family and still being authentic to myself is hard, and a losing game. Instagram can be made into something that is not just a mirror of your Facebook. If there's little difference between the two, you end up with the same problems - FOMO, envy, self-loathing. Instead, if you follow artists/photographers/creatives, you can find an i…

> I rarely post on Facebook any more. Finding something agreeable to all my friends and family and still being authentic to myself is hard, and a losing game. This is my primary issue with Facebook and one of the reasons I stopped using it. It's fine while you have a tight social circle, but once you have several social circles on Facebook, it's very difficult to navigate those kinds of tastes, whereas in real life i…

I've never used FB but I did use Google+ for a while, not really for the social aspects but instead to join Android app betas, this was before Google moved the beta signups to the Play Store, and I always found the way G+ allowed you to define different circles to be a very nice feature.

I know G+ gets a lot of hate but the circles aspect seemed well implemented and made compartmentalizing your different social/professional circles much easier and more transparent. I wonder why FB doesn't allow something similar?

I've been tempted to join FB in the past, not to partake in the social activities, but as a tool to manage my contacts, but I'm incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of my different social groups and my professional contacts sharing the same connections to me. If I could completely separate different circles to ensure they have absolutely no overlap or ability to see my other connections I would probably use FB.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#137

Post by taneq »

5thaccount wrote: post #78
feocco wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This comment thread hits the nail on the head for why I deactivated my social media. But I haven't found a good alternative "productive" time waster for when my mind needs a short break.

> But I haven't found a good alternative "productive" time waster for when my mind needs a short break. Hacker News? I mean, you posted this right here!

I spend more time on HN than on FB by a fair margin now. I probably need to start reigning it in... :P

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#138

Post by Chathamization »

noobermin wrote: post #51
tsm wrote: post #5

Facebook doesn't make me miserable because I feel like I'm having less fun and being less glamorous than the friends on my news feed—it makes me miserable because it's an addicting timewaster with minimal utility and I'd much rather be [reading a book, playing music, writing software, hanging out with friends IRL, working on a project, sleeping, watching TV…]

But how much of this is really Facebook's fault? How wouldn't you before be, say, watching TV or listening to radio soaps in the pre-internet era instead of doing the "higher mind" things you list you'd rather be doing?

Before Facebook I recall that chat apps like AIM and MSN messenger were fairly popular. I actually found those useful, and could have fairly meaningful conversations on them. Even if I hadn't seen a person in years, I might have an ongoing and strong online friendship with them. On Facebook, though, this never seemed to happen and many old acquaintances started to feel like complete strangers.

I also recall that things like e-mail from friends was a lot more common. You know the type - you hadn't heard from someone in a few months and they send you a long e-mail just checking in and telling you about their life. And people would respond to you if you sent the same. A few years ago I stopped sending those types of e-mail out because people stopped responding to them. These days, it would be a genuine shock to get a "just checking in" e-mail from friends.

I feel like Facebook has encouraged connections to be vapid and shallow. As a result, I feel like I have far less meaningful connections with friends now than I had a decade ago.

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#139

Post by awqrre »

aswanson wrote: post #52
tsm wrote: post #5

Facebook doesn't make me miserable because I feel like I'm having less fun and being less glamorous than the friends on my news feed—it makes me miserable because it's an addicting timewaster with minimal utility and I'd much rather be [reading a book, playing music, writing software, hanging out with friends IRL, working on a project, sleeping, watching TV…]

Facebook is a severely flawed product, as flawed as windows 2000, with a similar level of popularity with the unwashed masses. I wonder what its inevitable replacements form will take shape as.

I thought Windows 2000 was the peak of windows (anyways, it was my favorite version).

Re: Don’t Let Facebook Make You Miserable

#140

Post by Trundle »

rocqua wrote: post #44
aleyan wrote: post #32

Perhaps we should take NYTimes advice a step further and stop letting them make us miserable either. There is nothing actionable in the news; next to no utility. News is simply a time sink that depress your spirit. Whenever I think of reading "legitimate" news like the NYTimes, I am reminded of this quote from a Soviet novel by Bulgakov. In it a doctor gives advice: If you care about your digestion, my advice is [sic…

There is a social advantage to being able to speak about current events. There is also a part of the news that a well-informed citizen should know about. There are things everyone can do about injustice that require us to know injustice took place. Sadly, the above part of the news isn't the focus off modern news media. The sensationalist spin doesn't help much either. What I'm trying to say is that news, in and of i…

It takes very little reading to stay far more informed than the average person on current events if you set out to have that as your goal rather than just casually consuming information.

As for being a well informed citizen acting against injustice, I'd say there's a similar situation in that someone need not be very well read to find far more injustice than they're capable of acting on.

We live in a time of excess information yet have societal values that have developed throughout history when information was scarce. Passion, motivation, discipline and ethical principles are the things holding people back from being active, caring citizens of the planet not lack of information.

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