First of all, what you seem to be criticizing are server frameworks such as express, rather than node. node does not impose a paradigm for how requests are handled in a web server. It only provides the building blocks for a web server framework. In theory it is possible to create a library that forks the process for each request, if so you prefer. I personally think that might bit a be inefficient.
Then, there are ways to mitigate the problems you describe. I know this first hand as someone who has been behind substantially large deployments.
While leaking resources like memory, file and connection handles is a problem, there are ways to find them and fix them. While a bit of discipline and rigor you can be safe. But a lot of people in the node community are usually disregard anything that cannot be sold and usually end up creating problems they cannot get out from. And usually make those problems worse by adding workarounds the problems they created.
With a little bit of good practices, unit testing, profiling, load testing, code reviewing, etc... something that you can achieve by still being able to have work/life balance, by thinking like an engineer instead of discarding every software engineering book you read at school, by paying attention to what you do and not allowing excessive complexity, you should be in a comfortable position to fix a bug related to leaks.
The problem are imprudent people that want to boost their careers by pushing features that do not implement non-functional requirements to get the favor of product stakeholders. That approach may work on frontend, may work on some contexts, but not on backend node software. That's the easiest way to have a cascading failure of servers on 100% CPU/100% memory usage beyond repair.
Usually those people come in one flavor: people that think that because they know JavaScript, they can write server software. That's not it. To write server software you need to know network protocols, operating systems, memory management, algorithms, databases, distributed systems, etc.